Hair pulling, skin picking in pubic area.

[humanoid]

I am extremely embarrassed to be posting about this, so I'd really appreciate it if nobody called me gross as I already feel disgusting enough. I know we're very honest here at CB, but this issue is particularly fragile with me. That said, this is probably gonna be pretty TMI, so read at your own risk, I guess?

I've mentioned before in some Trichotillomania threads that I pull hair mainly from my pubic area, but I haven't really come across many people that share this issue or at least any that are willing to talk about it. I guess I just want to share my experience in more detail and hear anyone else that can relate. I know I'm not the only one, but I feel very alone anyway..

When I was 17, I started pulling hair with tweezers from my pubic area. I got very obsessive about it and would spend so much time pulling hairs that I would often make myself late to school because I physically couldn't stop. When I ran out of hair, I would start digging into the skin with the sharp tip of the tweezers to get at the hair growing beneath. I ended up with a lot of scabs, sore spots, ingrown hairs, and other various bumps. I really "liked" the uneven places of skin and I attacked those with tweezers too, making the problem worse. I think a lot of it had to do with stress because now that I'm no longer in school, the hair pulling is less severe, though still present.

The problem only occurs when I go to the bathroom because the area becomes visible. When it's not visible, I'm not thinking about it at all. I only have the urge to do it in my own private bathroom, and 99% of the time I will only use tweezers to pull. I don't have a certain number that I pull, I just pull until I feel ready to stop. Sometimes it's just a few, sometimes it's a lot.

I don't really know why I do it. I've had a tdoc and pdoc tell me it's stress related, but I do it even when I'm not stressed out. I know that I feel extremely satisfied when I pull out a hair. There is just a tiny bit of pain, but I don't understand what it is about it that is so attractive to me. It feels good, but not in a conventional way, I guess. The uneven places of skin are also really satisfying to mess with, too. I don't play with or eat the hair or skin from my pubic area, once it's been removed it's no longer any interest to me.

Also had one person suggest to me that maybe I get some kind of sexual pleasure from it, that it's erotic in nature, but I don't really feel that way at all. I do get a kind of pleasurable feeling from doing this, but it doesn't "arouse" me in any way, it's more mental.

While it disgusts me and I would like to stop, I don't have much motivation to eliminate the behavior. I have tried shaving away all hair so I can't pull it, but when I do that it makes me more likely to dig in the skin which I think is worse. I am generally shaving it once every couple of weeks, trying to minimize the various behaviors, but it grows back pretty quickly. The stubble hair is more "attractive" to me when it comes to pulling, so that's also a problem.

I've also tried moving to other areas, but none have ever been as satisfying. Leg hair comes close, but I just don't get the same mental reward when I pull out a hair. Eyebrow hair is too painful so I only pull there for vanity reasons. I do head hair sometimes, but that's only been in extreme situations and also not satisfying. The skin of my scalp is so weird, so sometimes I'm able to pull out a pretty big clump and I don't even feel it at all. I obviously don't like the bald spots though, so I avoid this. Arm hair is too thin, light, and not coarse enough, not appealing.

I just wonder...can anyone relate to my situation specifically? I know a lot of people hair pull or skin pick, I just haven't heard as much about it in relation to the pubic region. Anyone have any tips on how I can stop doing this? No tdoc right now so suggestions that I can do on my own are preferred, but specific therapeutic suggestions are welcome, too.

Also, can hair pulling and skin picking be considered compulsive behaviors of OCD rather than separate disorders? I don't have any other compulsions like tapping or washing, but I do have intrusive thoughts and have been dx with Purely Obsessional OCD and Trichotillomania, more curious than anything. I haven't done much research into this.

Anyway, thank you for reading all of that and I hope you are not completely disgusted with me.

[lms10691]

Not disgusted with you, I have been guilty of doing this myself, though I'm not sure I can offer you any advice, just letting you know your not alone.

[Ranecop]

I don't do skin or hair, but I thought I'd add that I'm pretty sure no one here is going to be disgusted, I'm certainly not. I thought I would add on that it sounds an awful lot to me like compulsive behavior, but I haven't experienced so I can only speculate. Maybe someone else will have better advice. >.<

[humanoid]

Thank you both. I know CB has very nice members, I just came across a thread earlier where some were called disgusting for their behavior, so it freaked me out a bit. This is just highly embarrassing to me, something I talk about very infrequently and I'm extremely self-conscious about it.

[llama44]

No need for embarrassment, it is a symptom of illness just like depression or OCD or anxiety symptoms.

I pick at my scalp all the dang time. I do it when nervous and I do it when bored or zoned out not really thinking of it but doing it subconsciously you know? So I can sort of relate. And I too can understand the embarrassment feelings. I can only imagine how I look to others when picking at my scalp like that for a long while in public sometimes too. Ugh.

[Ranecop]

Thank you both. I know CB has very nice members, I just came across a thread earlier where some were called disgusting for their behavior, so it freaked me out a bit. This is just highly embarrassing to me, something I talk about very infrequently and I'm extremely self-conscious about it.

I can't believe people were calling others disgusting... Of course I don't know the context, but still... I'd think most if not all of us can relate to, let's say "non-typical" actions/thoughts/behaviors? I would certainly hope if I really need to share something personal and concerning I wouldn't have to worry about being attacked. >.<

[humanoid]

I think it was a fairly old thread, and it was a little unsettling (discussion of people that pop pimples and eat what comes out etc.) but yes, some said quite bluntly they were disgusted. I guess what I do is not as extreme, but I feel very ashamed about it and quite worried of judgement.

[Wooster]

I'm glad you are getting support instead of judgment here.

That's the intention, anyway.

While I can't relate to your specific form, I do think its possible for hair pulling to be part of an OCD picture instead of just hair pulling on its own (one of these days I will learn how to properly spell trich but today isn't that day). I think if the hair pulling is part of a ritual that satisfies the conditions of an obsession it makes sense to think about it in terms of OCD. I'm sure there are other ways to think about it as well... That's just what comes to mind at the moment.

[kittyloaf]

I have trichotillomania and have pulled out my pubic hair in the past. For me I've found if I shave it, I'll get itchy and ingrown hairs so I'll pick at it and and create sores. So I can either leave the area alone or trim it with trimmers designed for men's beards, which is what I do so it's not itchy. I don't think that would help you as it sounds like you pull it when the hair is at that stage. My trichotillomania is also stress related.

I am more likely to pull hair on my scalp, eyebrows, or eyelashes.

[humanoid]

Thanks for sharing kittyloaf. I know it started out stress-related for me, but now I don't really quite know. And yes, that is precisely when I would be doing the most pulling, I don't know why. I can't really understand anything about this, just that there's some kind of mental reward to it that I can't resist.

Wooster, it feels sort of ritualized in that I only do it in a specific place, with a certain tool, at a certain time. It's not really satisfying any obsession, though, and I'm not thinking about anything when I'm doing it except which hair I want to pull, lol. Maybe it has some kind of calming effect, or something. I'm not sure. I just haven't been able to stop.

[Wooster]

By "ritualized" I guess I meant more like you are doing it because you have to, in order to prevent something bad from happening, or to otherwise address an obsessive thought.

Sorry if I wasn't more clear on that.

[humanoid]

Thanks for explaining. Yeah, I don't think anything bad is going to happen to me if I don't do it, I just feel compelled to do it and can't stop myself. I'm not sure if there is an obvious obsessive thought behind it. Some days I wonder if it's not just me turning more aggression towards myself. I don't count it as self-harm even though it can cause bleeding/scabbing and such, but then again maybe it is? I don't know, it's such a confusing mess! I need to talk more about it, I guess.

[SarahClaire777]

Hello

I do this. I do the scalp picking and hair pulling too, but you can't see it. I know what you mean about being almost late to leave the house, because generally you'll be getting dressed etc...

The sexual thing is wrong, and a silly way to connect the area without thinking about what you're doing. The likely reason is any pain = chemical release of happy hormones, which is why people enjoy pain sometimes.

My pubic area currently looks ridiculous because of this. I also attack the hairs early, and end up with these craters that probably won't grow hair back. My bf stole my tweezers to stop me, and I ended up buying more and doing it secretly.

It is a strange thing to do, and I don't know why I do it. I don't find it disgusting, but a little bizarre! I don't do it when I'm stressed, but I think because I USED to do it when I was stressed, it either formed a habit, or I associated it with relaxation or SOMETHING. I'm also medicated for social anxiety, so I'm thinking mine might be because I am still experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety, without feeling anxious...

I wasn't going to talk to my psych about this issue, but I guess if I'm not the only one, it's probably worth it. He's a guy, so I didn't want to just bang it out there like 'so I have this thing....'

Thnx for posting

[Guest]

I may be way off, but sometimes modifying my genital area becomes a 'reclaiming' for me of of a physical part of my body that I felt was ruined by sexual abuse. That's just me.

[humanoid]

Thanks for sharing SarahClaire777. I relate a lot to what you said, I feel less alone. I am definitely going to bring it up with my new pdoc during our appointment. I want it to stop so badly. I hope we're both able to find a solution.

Titania, that makes a lot of sense, actually.

I became sexually active again this past week and my hair pulling is going NUTS. I had to shave so the prickly hairs growing back are driving me crazy and I can't leave it alone. I am covered in scabs right now, it looks absolutely terrible and it hurts and aches. I feel like a fucking mess.

[Parsley]

Hi, I know this thread isn't exactly still active but I thought I'd drop in and say I spent between the hours of 1:30 and 3am doing a thorough pube pluck, it's now gone from stubbly patches and scabs to bald with sore patches and some deep deep ingrown/scarred areas that I'm not sure will ever look right again. I have been doing this for a few years now, it started off as just a bikini trim when i had no razor and now I pluck away all of the hairs on the mons, don't go near the labia majora because it flippin kills. Also the fact I have a MONS PUBIS on my body causes me to laugh so much. So, yes, I also thought I was some freak with super weird problems but recently my bofriend said something like "you know you have trichotillomania, don't you?" and I was all "whaaa?" and got myself on google, but all I could really find was centred around scalp hair and I still felt like I was significantly abnormal in my behaviours. Obviously I know pulling out my pubic hair and mutilating the skin is clearly a sign of something not being right with me, and when I get to the end of the waiting list for therapy then I guess I'll have to bring it up at some point.

 

I usually spend 30 mins to 2 hours plucking hairs - it depends how long the interval between sessions is, as I like to pluck all of the regrowth away. I feel especially satisfied when there is a little blob on the end of the hair, when the entire contents of the follicle comes out. I recently learned that this includes a teeny tiny muscle responsible for making hairs stand up when you get goosebumps... slightly creeped out by this but also the fascinated-with-gross-things part of me is totally loving it. I also squeeze the hairs out when they are not ready and enjoy unpicking ingrown hairs with a pin before i pluck them. I do not eat any of this stuff, i sometimes am civilised enough to drop all the hairs on a tissue but normally they end up on the floor. If my boyfriend knew it would drive his OCD mad, so I make sure he sees me using a tissue if I'm doing it when he's around - oh yeah, I will totally do it if he's in the room, because I HAVE NO SHAME. also he doesn't judge me because he's got mental too.

 

So, there's some TMI to add to this personal, and rather private, area of discussion.

 

Sorry if this doesn't read very well, it is almost 4am and I am very sleepy. xxx

[trichmaniac]

I have been hair pulling my pubic region for 33 years and I do feel it stimulates sexual desire for me. I'm not sure why but it does.

[BigRedBear]

Chipping in to say that you're definitely not alone, I have pretty much the same problem down to the specifics like the leg thing - it doesn't help that I have atopic dermatitis/eczema so my skin is already on the dry and rough side and lends itself naturally to ingrown hairs. In general, I've got huge issues with skin in general, and a phobia of all things that... mess with the integrity of skin, one could summarise: injections, syringes, tattoos, IVs, anything that penetrates the skin barrier freaks me out. I'm also a huge neat freak (though not OCD levels as far as I can tell, I don't feel the need to wash/whatever when it isn't rational to do so.) You'd think this obsession with skin integrity would make me leave it alone, but no; instead I'm ridiculously sensitive to anything I perceive as irregularities with the skin, even if I know it's irrational. Short hair where I can see the follicle through the skin drives me crazy, ingrown hairs especially so, it looks like I have worms under my skin and I just need to get them out. And now it's slipped into a vicious cycle because the disruption of the skin has caused a lot more ingrown hairs and general bumpiness and itchiness, which I'm even MORE compelled to pick at. And like with you, it's not sexual but just immensely satisfying, like the satisfaction of removing a splinter and feeling like you removed something unpleasant and foreign from your body. I guess something in my brain went haywire and is miscategorising my own hairs as foreign objects.

 

I've noticed that when I'm really busy or when I'm travelling (and dont' take my tweezers with me) I can not do it at all for days or weeks at a time. I had a relapse today that really frustrates me now so I threw out my tweezers. Hopefully it'll help. Before I bought tweezers, I'd use my nails and ruin them, but as I keep my nails really short (see eczema point), it's uncomfortable and painful  so it should help put me off.

 

If it makes anyone else feel better, this sort of compulsion is by nature likely a by-product of our brains' complexity and capacity for complex behaviour, a behaviour that makes sense in some contexts (or has the potential to make sense, i.e. is an example of natural variation) being misapplied. It's pointless to feel shame or self-hatred over this - our bodies are what they are, and our behaviour is driven by the way they're wired. As conscious, thinking beings, we don't need to resign ourselves to it - we can try to outrick our own habits, like by circumventing the behaviour or making it more difficult - we can do what we can to minimise it. I don't know, I just feel it's easier to see it not as something *I*, personally, failed in, but as my body working against me instead of with  me in this specific instance.

[Paranoidling]

-

Edited March 6, 2022 by Paranoidling

[hfiti]

I shamefully admit to this as well, I pull hairs on my arms and on my stomach/'happy trail', its an awful scabby mess. But like I feel compelled to pull those hairs that are just slightly darker then the rest. I don't really set out to do the same thing with my eyebrows but if I am doing them(or really looking anywhere on my face in a mirror) If i set out to get a hair that just wont come out, I cant settle for not getting it. I get so anxious and I dig at my face to get hairs, Ive made myself bleed by my eyebrows and chin getting hairs that my brain deemed unworthy of sitting upon my face but are fighting me to be removed. I really wish I didn't do this. 

[simplyme]

wow, on point for me, literally, everything to this post relates to me in some way, what i tried though is for my mom to hide all the tweezers but i would flip out and be obsessed with trying to find them, i'll literally be in the bathroom for hours...and i'll end up with those weird lumps that are all red and yeah i'm embarrassed but i can't really stop the compulsiveness, the other thing was to literally talk/yell/chide you name it until i had enough i guess willpower to literally throw the tweezers across the room and force my self to leave, as of right now, i still have no idea where the hell that thing landed...and that was about 6 or 7 hours ago and it's 12:52 am right now

>.<

fml but yeah i feel it and i'm too embarrassed to be with any guy because of it, like, trust me i swear it's not genital warts or anything! ugh but yeah i feel it my friend (pun implied)

but try chucking them somewhere (somewhere cluttered preferably) and just either forget or give up looking for them or not look down i guess?...try it out or if anyone has any other/better ideas, hit us all up

thanks fam though  for verbalizing something i had no idea how to verbalize 

[Zoey32]

I started pulling my pubic hair when I was a young teenager. I never had any "talks" with anyone about what would happen to my body while going through puberty. I thought I was a freak because of this dark hair that was starting to grow. I was in gymnastics at the time. One of my teammates pointed out a dark hair in my armpit and I was mortified. I started shaving with a cheap crappy, used razor I found in my dad's drawer and tweezing. That lead to many ingrown hairs. I spent up to 2 hours every night picking with the tweezers. I began to enjoy it, when I found a hair that was especially ingrown and curled around several times I felt so satisfied. I have also picked at my face and squeezed at pores unnecessarily. 

In my early 20's I had laser hair removal done on my armpits and bikini area. That virtually stopped my pubic hair pulling. I still have a few light hairs in that area, but it isn't much different than my leg hair. I just turned 30. I still pick at my face. Instead of an hour a day squeezing real and imaginary zits, I only do it a couple times a week or so. Unfortunately I don't see that ever stopping. My skin heals well, but since I am not getting any younger, I am afraid this won't always be the case. I have realized over time I have mental health issues, and I am not alone or a freak like I once thought I was.

I am currently taking Zoloft for anxiety and OCD. It does help with my social anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I think the true answer lies in diet and exercise. My whole life I have been a processed junk food junkie. I am trying to make a lifestyle change of eating "real" food. It can only help, right?

[WinterTidings]

This isn't disgusting at all, promise. We've done similar, though not as frequently, it does key into our trich/etc side of OCD stuff.

Wynn

[displayname123]

I can completely relate to your original post, humanoid.  And this description is scarily accurate:

On April 28, 2015 at 3:29 PM, BigRedBear said:

Short hair where I can see the follicle through the skin drives me crazy, ingrown hairs especially so, it looks like I have worms under my skin and I just need to get them out. And now it's slipped into a vicious cycle because the disruption of the skin has caused a lot more ingrown hairs and general bumpiness and itchiness, which I'm even MORE compelled to pick at. And like with you, it's not sexual but just immensely satisfying, like the satisfaction of removing a splinter and feeling like you removed something unpleasant and foreign from your body. I guess something in my brain went haywire and is miscategorising my own hairs as foreign objects.

I feel a disconnect between hairs and my own body.  It's as if I need to purge myself from the hair or object or little tiny but of extra cells / root / pus around ingrown hairs.  
Not sure if this is related (although probably so)- I have a long history of eating disorders, which began with more anorexic tendencies and developed into bulimia.  During the times I would become exhausted from purging, sitting on the toilet after, or even procrastinate before purging, I somehow found myself transfixed, little by little, plucking, picking, and digging at my pubic hairs, hunched over the toilet.  I think it's somehow a similar mental purging / OCD action that gave/gives me great satisfaction.  

One more tid bit:  this is not erotic at all for me.  However, I was sexually assaulted (at the very least) one summer and because of that contracted genital herpes.  Before that incident, this had never crossed my mind.  Shortly after, I became addicted to this behavior in this area of my body.  I had never drawn a connection between the behavior and my past until I was thinking about how the scarring and my embarrassment of my plucking/picking habits affects how I feel about exposing that area to a sexual partner.  I obviously am embarrassed by it, and have only had one new intimate partner (other than a boyfriend I had before and during- he knew about it and thought I was crazy) since I began doing this,  to whom I lied and said I broke out in a rash from a new shaving cream (or something to that affect) in case he saw it while we were making out in our underwear.  I think maybe subconsciously this is also a way for me to visually punish/deface an area of my body that feels secretly dirty and I feel I shouldn't expose to anyone while simultaneously getting satisfaction from the plucking.  It sucks.  I want to stop.  I don't want to have scars all over.  I am tired of wasting literally hours digging at sometimes imaginary hairs or dark spots.

BUT.

I, too, have been able to go days, weeks, at a time without engaging in this behavior.  And, honestly, it's when I don't think about it- I don't even think about stopping it.  I'm busy, or on a trip, and don't have the luxury of alone time in the bathroom with tweezers nearby.

It sucks because there is a cycle.  Once you begin making sores or plucking hairs and then occasionally shaving all of this, it obviously screws up the skin and follicles and creates more bumps and ingrown hairs, thus more places to pick and pluck.  

None of us *want* to do this, yet we find such satisfaction in doing so that it becomes an addictive behavior that's ridiculously hard to stop.  Just like binging and purging for me.

I have found at the slightest urge to do this, if I quickly make myself look straight ahead and focus on a spot on my shower curtain while I'm in the bathroom and pull up my pants when I'm done peeing, I have a higher success rate of not plucking. I've also tried to not stress about it and instead think about the other things in my life that are causing me stress/unhappiness, but also happiness, and work on doing more things that make me happy/healthy and cut out the things that get me down.  When I'm generally more active, more social, more engaged with things in my life, my OCD and unhealthy behaviors are also more manageable.  

 

Moreover, it's so good to know other people struggle with this.  I thought people only plucked their head hairs.  I have no interest in that or other areas unless I'm picking a scab/pimple/etc.

[wasps]

i've been suffering from dermatillomania since I was very young. by very young, I mean "I remember my father telling me to stop picking my scabs when I was 4 or so years of age". but yes I definitely do the whole pubic area plucking thing as well. I ALWAYS thought I was alone on this. I didn't ever make the connection that it could be trich until recently. along with plucking out pubic hairs, I religiously pluck out the darker hairs around my nipples as well. I have many a scar around my nipples from digging out hairs there.. 

it gives me the same satisfaction as picking scabs if anything. I like plucking the hairs out, especially the thicker ones. recently I spent a good 20 minutes trying to pull a darker hair out of my lower stomach/"happy trail" area and now I have a scab the size of a penny there. which, of course, i keep picking at. nothing ever heals on my body. 

and I pick a lot out in public. and the worst part is that I have a compulsion to eat the scab once I pick it off.. which I do every time. I have no idea how many scabs I've eaten during my lifetime but at this point it's probably well over thousands, possibly tens of thousands of scabs. i have a bunch of scabs on my back that i pick at during class and end up eating. i feel fucking disgusting doing it but i can't help it. it's not like i'm NOT going to do it. I've had so many people say to me "(name), you're bleeding!" and im like. haha, yeah. i know. 

[omgitslaurenn]

I know this reply is quite late, but in the event you still check this humanoid, have you found a way to stop picking? I can't seem to cease even when I know I'm doing more damage to my skin, especially the lower area. I can like, see an ingrown hair kind of pre-forming so I squeeze and pull and pick until I get it. 2 hours later I'm left with scars, blood and bumps. Bleh. Googling remedies, skincare, scar cream, ahhh! Creates insecurity, shame, guilt and residual anxiety. 

[parmalotharlot]

No part of my body is sacred. Anywhere is fair game and I think about it constantly. Picking my cuticles fingers and toes 24/7 and arms while driving. Thighs, nipples and pubes on the toilet. Face in the mirror... Hours a day. Pulling, plucking, pinching, prodding, needling, sometimes cutting, scraping, scratching...

[<-Paul->]

I know it's an old post, but I came across it after searching for a reason as to why i've never been able to stop pulling out my own hair. You're not alone & I posted the following somewhere else too. I know it's no fun & not a competition, but I think I have you beaten. Check this out, & please don't judge (those of you who don't pluck) it's not as though we can just stop, because we cant, otherwise we would have done so by now and not had to resort to posting about our experiences or questioning why we pluck or can't stop. So, here goes....

I've been doing this for as long as I can remember, & I'm almost 50 now. Pubic hair, moustache, beard, chest, eyelashes, eyebrows, nose, ear, anal & armpit. In fact, I pull everything but my arms, legs, back & scalp, for some strange reason. I'm terrible, aren't I? The thing is, most of the time I don't realise I'm doing it, other times I do & stop, only to start again later on. It can innocently start with twiddling the hair, or from an itch or tickle. Maybe even stress or boredom starts the process off too. Maybe my hands have to always be doing something. Being male, I often get weird looks having very little or no eyebrows & sometimes they even look like i've been trying to shape them. The face, on the other hand, is even worse. I tend to have at it for hours & before I notice, I have bald patches. At that point, I feel the need to pluck out more in order to get rid of it. Forget shaving off the rest, it all grows back at different rates. After the pulling out, I sometimes stick it to something or pull off the root or twist the hair in my fingers before I dispose of it. I've been known to stick it on tissues, the chair, or the bed, by the root until I realise what I've done & there's hundreds of them that I then collect, or group & throw away. I try to reason that the eyebrow, nose, eyelash or pubic tickle means I need to pull it out to stop the tickle, though an itch in those places results in the same same thing, a good plucking. The eyelash & eyebrow plucking also starts when I rub & notice a hard or wirey hair, I have to remove it because it's irritating. The same goes for the face, a hard or wirey hair & it's pulled out & generally starts me off. An itch or tickle in the back passage often starts that plucking process, or just washing the rear & having the hair in the way might cause me to pull it out. The only upside to all this is that it saves me money on shaving equipment & it doesn't grow back for a long time, but the downside is that the far sides of the face & neck usually hurt when I notice i'm pulling them out, the rest seems to be painless though, which is probably why I can go for hours before i've noticed what i've done. I figure it's not hurting anyone else so there's no point trying to get help now, it's been going on for far too long that I doubt I could ever stop now. I just have to deal with the odd embarrassing moment when I answer the door with half a plucked face & forget that I actually look stupid or like i've had electrolysis or something. 

[noname555]

this is such an old thread but im sooo glad im not the only one out there with this problem. i felt nervous just typing it on google

[Sage22BSTi]

I constantly am picking at different peices of skin on my hand, fingers and legs. It's so bad that I have permanent scar tissue in some areas. I mainly do it when I'm nervous but it's been gradually getting worse

[Forbidden91]

Allegra.

[Gearhead]

1 hour ago, Forbidden91 said:

Allegra.

Come again?

[annonamouslyneedtoknow]

so I also suffer from this picking at the pubic area but Ive only been doing it since Iwas 23 and im 35 now but im so obsessed with doing it more when I get high because the hairs become more acssesable I guess and I'll literally sit there and pick for hours trying to find that one satisfying hair that in my mind is the one that keeps me picking every single hair and yes it feels so good when I get a painful hair out with my tweezers and Ive tried other places on my body with no avail my pubic region is the area that I prefer...... but I so need to know if anybody suffering from this disease has ever had a bacterial hair infection or any other complications

[ZeraphiN]

I just want to say: same, with almost everything I read.

The scab eating, the hairpulling on head, face, pubic heir etc.. The only thing is pubic hair is something I do while gaming or watching a movie, i seldomly do it without any other distraction.

Sometimes I asked myself if I'm subconsciously doing it to feel my body, other times I felt like it made me dissociate and feel my body even less, but in a good hypnotising way ô.o

I always had reasons to think it's temporary and not an OCD. Like pulling out white hair (when they weren't too many to actually pull them out. with my ratio of actually getting a white hair while trying to pluck out a white hair, without pulling out some black hair as well.. you get the jizz). I also thought it had more to do with beauty standards etc because I already grew a few white hairs from a very young age. The first one I consciously encountered was when I was like 17 and in class. I had my hair straightened and people were laughing about me or looking weirdly at me. And when I was in the bathroom I saw a short white hair straight standing out from the top of my head. It was like screaming: look at me, I'm a white hair. There I began the oppulsive white hair picking. Another time a student college encountered a blonde long hair on my nose. They thought it landed there and didn't know it was ingrown. I had felt some tickeling there but never realized I had a long blonde hair on my nose. So since that day, like 4 years ago, I regularly look for a long blonde hair on my nose and sometimes without a clue pick around, waiting for it to magically appear. I feel like the hair got even thinner, and takes long to grow back. I think at the age of like around 13 I started pulling out my upper lip baby hairs. Funnily I stopped doing that. When I was a child I would always scratch open wounds and eat the scabs. Every mosquito bite was scratched for so long it started to bleed, build a scratch, bleed, build a scratch etc. Also tearing out hair from my fingers with my teeth while in class started as a random habit like a stim that helped me concentrate more? But at the same time a distraction.. I know how this sounds. I don't know when I started pulling out my pubic hair and my armpit hair, I know it didn't happen consciously, it just started as something I do while doing something else as described above.
Funny thing is I stopped shaving my legs and all the parts whitecishetracistcolonialistpatriarchy wants people like me to shave. So I think for some people it might seem weird that I have got these urges and severe tricho, when at the same time I seem to be so in peace with my natural body hair (not shavin legs since.. I guess 6 years)

Also the type of pain hairpulling on the legs gives me kind of throws me away from doing it. But when I see a doublehairstrand growing out of one follicle (right word), and I start, it of course gets hard to stop. Reading about your experiences helped and validated me in a way, but it also made me more nervous, as did writing all this. I'd love to see this thread continously growing and selfhealing strategies to be added.

In my experience the things that were already mentioned... like having a schedule, having social contacts, not being alone at home in bed 24/7, having distractions .. it really helps to forget about it. Even if it's just the time it needs for the parts on the body to re-heal. Like a year ago my "happy trail" area was free of marks and scars. It started with one f*cking hair, and now this area was transformed to another place of shame, not because of dark hair but because of the consequences of trying to pull out dark hair. This cycle really is f#cked.