Hi

[SFB]

Just wanted to introduce myself. I am a 57 y/o male, married for 25 years with 2 children and one grandson. My wife is a saint to have put up with me for so long.

When I was seventeen and in my senior year of high school I had a psychotic break and was hospitalized in 3 different facilities; 2 private and one state. In the state hospital I was treated with thorazine and ect's. I don't remember the 1st two hospitals or being admitted to the state one; it was like I just woke up there. And all I knew was that I wanted out. I'm sure it all started with a voluntary admission but at this point I couldn't do it myself. I would tell the pdc that I felt fine and didn't need any more ect's and he would say "yes, you're doing fine, just one more. They gave them every Wed. I hated Wednesday's. When my father came to visit, which wasn't often, I told him this stuff was killing me, I needed to get out. He got me out. I appreciated that but came to realize later that he was the main reason I was in there, although ultimately it was my fault. You are responsible for your own actions. I thought I was hospitalized for an adolescent adjustment but found out the dx was acute schizophrenic episode when I tried to enlist in the Navy. Bye the way, these 1st hospitalizations were for the better part of a year.

My second dx came 4 yrs later; chronic undifferential schizophrenia when I was discharged (honorably, thank you Lord!) from the USMC for "a physical disability not caused by or aggravated by the service" I still feel bad about that; guess I always will.

Not to long after being discharged I got into a confrontaion with my older brother and was charged with simple assault. Did 30 days and then voluntarily admitted myself to another state hospital for a 72 hr evaluation. They said I had a behavioral problem or a personality disorder but that I was not psychotic and released me. Really pissed my step-mother off.

Married at 31 and worked the same job for over 20 yrs ( liked the people; didn't like the job) and then went back to school and got a degree in EMS. Have worked as a paramedic for the past 5 years.

Had a break last Oct. Dx as depression NOS, anxiety NOS. Present tdc thinks I have recurrent depression or MDD. Treated with variety of meds the last being Remeron. I am presently out of it but will be back on it soon. At present using OTC benadryll to help me sleep although it's beginning to be ineffective.

That's where I'm at presently.

Thanks for listening. It seems to help everytime I write this stuff down. Wish I had kept a journal over the yrs like a friend of mine did.

[dogdome]

Welcome to the boards, I'm new as well and I hope you find the community and support that we seem to both be seeking.

[Unstrung Harp]

Hi SFB and welcome. Sounds like you've through a lot over the years. I hope you find this a helpful place to be.

[Proxy Wolf]

Welcome to CB. I am also new to the forums but have found them to be very helpful so far. I hope it does the same for you. Thank you for your service.

[The Emperor]

Welcome to the boards!

[olga]

Welcome to our happy home. Please read the rules when you have time---it avoids misunderstandings later on. Also, you should be aware that we don't delete accounts, or posts, or threads.

I hope you like hanging out with us. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

olga

[SFB]

Thanks for the warm welcome. Being here has already helped. I tend to hide my skeletons in the closet and sometimes have difficulty expressing what I'm thinking (not good for a paramedic).