Naptown Bipolar I, feeling broken......

[Miss317]

Hey everyone.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I. I also have ADD and slight anxiety. I was fired from my 5 1/2 year job in Dec. First time ever in my 44 years of life being fired. In July I was fired from my new job. Collecting unemployment both times... so I am at a crossroads in my life. After being fired twice from a field I have 14 years experience in, but don't really enjoy anyway, I am wondering what career I'll pursue from here.

In 2009 I began getting mental health help and was diagnosed. Following that I found myself in an abusive relationship. Shortly after that I was put into IOP (Intensive Outpatient). Also diagnosed as Codependant (or however you spell it). During that time I learned alot with CBT, group settings, and twice a week visits to monitor my meds. By summer 2010 I was on track.

Since I've lost my job, I lost my insurance. No meds..... from bad to worse. I've found a place that charges based on a sliding scale according to what you earn. I just want my meds back. Now I have to go to group twice a month, see a therapist twice a month, and meet a new phsych. Who knows what meds they will give me.

Anyway... They have put me in DBT groups. Not so sure I like it. I'm not BPD... these people I'm in group with are much sicker than I am....

Well, as of right now, that's where I am in my journey. Not sure how crazy I am, but I'm sure society thinks I'm a fruit loop. I do and have felt broken most of my life. Like a toy firetruck who's siren sounds like a dog barking instead of a siren.... Wondering if I can ever lead a "normal" life even with my manufacturer's defect.

Miss317

[your_illusion97]

I dont have a lot to add. I have the same diagnosis and currently cant work. I'm actually moving to your neck of the woods to get some treatment. and for what its worth I am on meds to control my issues and they arent working.

[Guest]

Hi,

DBT is used in a variety of mental health issues, I can understand why the group might put your off, but it's not just catering to BPD behaviors, it is great for suicidality, goal setting, self harm, abusive relationships, depression, anxiety etc. This is always a tough point in recovery, you've lost a lot, your confidence is knocked and it seems impossible to know if your current efforts will pay off. They will, keep going and I promise you will be glad that you did. It is very possible to live a normal life and be a whole person, that is worth fighting for.

[olga]

Welcome to Crazyboards, Miss317. I agree with Titania that the DBT group might be more valuable to you than it initially appears to be. Stick with it for a while---it could be very useful.

Please be sure to read our rules when you get a chance---it avoids problems later on. Also, this site is indexed by Google. If you will be job hunting in the future, keep in mind that future employers could use nicknames or other keywords to search for you. If you don't want them to end up here, reading about your MI issues, you might want to edit out stuff that could identify you. (I'm concerned about the avatar---it's a very clear picture and anyone who knows you will recognize you from that.)

I'm not being critical---I just feel protective toward our members and want them to have every opportunity to regain stability and get on with their lives.

Please let us know if we can help you in any way.

olga

[dedoubt]

Hi! Welcome to CB!

DBT helped change my life. I did it in individual therapy, because I was not in a place to be able to handle group, but worked on it weekly for three years. I am so much better at being able to manage myself and my life now, and they are skills I have not forgotten. If you can get past the kinds of people you are in group with and focus on learning the skills, they can be invaluable.

Good luck getting through it all.