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New Bipolar I Dx. So Many Bad Things...


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I'm a 42 year old mother and wife. I just had my first manic episode and it was pretty bad. I was hypersexual and psychotic and paranoid and other things. I've been stable for about four months and just starting to be able to accept my dx. Having a lot of trouble adjusting to things now. A lot of fears and guilt. Not able to feel any kind of happiness. Just a kind of mild depression that lingers.

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Guilt and fear go along with being BPI. At least it does for me and I was diagnosed a very long time ago, while I was still a teenager. It's good that you're stable. You're on a fairly low dose of lithium. Lithium will help with the depression. I'm going to assume that you've had blood work to determine your level. Do you remember what it was? It might be that an increase in lithium would help you out. There is a very specific range that it needs to be within. I believe it is 0.6-1.2. I usually have to be at 0.8 or higher for it to work well for me. Lithium is NOT something you need to be messing around with dosage changes on your own. Just plain old DON'T DO IT. Sorry for the yelling but it's important.

I had a really bad episode in my 40s. Terrible, actually. It lasted for well over a year and I'm just now getting to the point where I feel stable again and this is years later. I'm finally back to my old self.

Sometimes the depression is from ruminating about what happened when you were in the midst of an episode. I know that I try not to think about what happened. I was ill. I was not responsible for some of the stuff I did. Honestly, it almost tore our family apart. It was really bad. Everyone has forgiven me for what I did. Everyone but me. I still have guilt about it, that's why I try not to think about it and just keep going.

I hope you can get to feeling better and that you'll forgive yourself. That's the hardest part. Forgiving yourself.

Oh, and WELCOME! I'm so glad that you found us. This is a great group of people. You'll find support and reality dished out in abundance.

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My episode only lasted for a month, but I was hospitalized twice in that time. And I did a lot of shameful things. And it has been very hard on my family. My pdoc actually just lowered my lithium again and actually wanted to take me off it. But I was afraid of what that might cause so we agreed to maintain this lower dosage.

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Your pdoc wanted to take you off of your meds? Most of us find it the other way around. Is your pdoc well versed in dealing with BP? If he isn't, you might want to look around for a different one.

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hey welcome, i was dxed schizoaffective depressive subtype april '11 and still i have periods where i don't believe i'm sick which is dangerous for me because i become paranoid and think people are out to get me, i also get confused as to where i am, but my mom's been making sure i'm taking my meds but part of me wonders if i need them. so good luck is all i wanted to say.

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Your pdoc wanted to take you off of your meds? Most of us find it the other way around. Is your pdoc well versed in dealing with BP? If he isn't, you might want to look around for a different one.

She wants to take me off the lithium but keep me on the geodon.

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