Severely depressed, with chronic pain

[BamaBrad]

I'm a 31-year-old man, living in Idaho.

I was diagnosed as clinically depressed in January after a suicide attempt. I've always been depressed and anxious, but an adverse effect from medication pushed me over the ledge. My depression worsened last year after suffering a spinal injury, which required surgery. I now have nerve damage in my left leg and chronic pain in my lower back. I am on percocet daily for the pain, and I walk with a cane for balance.

My doctor placed me on citalopram for the depression, which made me delusional. I was imagining conversations that supposedly never took place, both at home and at work. Some of my coworkers, who I used to consider close friends, freaked out and went to management. One night in January, I had a psychotic break while out with these friends, which disturbed them. The next morning, I attempted suicide.

I spent a week in a psychiatric ward, where I was placed on a new medication, venlafaxine. Less than a week after being released from the hospital, I was fired. I have filed a complaint of medical discrimination with the department of labor, and the state is in the middle of an investigation.

So far, I haven't been able to find work, but I am on unemployment. It's not much, so I've had to sell my car and cut expenses drastically. My wife and I will have to sell our home. We'll likely have to move away, as I live in an area where the economy is mostly based on agriculture. I used to be a newspaper reporter. There isn't much use for someone like me here. My best option is to move away and find another line of work.

I eventually heard voices again while on the venlafaxine, so I quit. I have taken nothing for the past few months, and I don't want to try new medications. I physically feel terrible while on them anyway. One doctor has suggested electroconvulsive therapy, but I'm not sure I can afford the treatment.

In short, I'm pretty fucked up and barely functional most days. I just sit around the house, with nothing much to do. I've had no luck finding work, as many times a prospective employer has invited me for an in-person interview, only to rescind the offer. I'm sure I'm being blackballed by my former employer, as means of retaliation for filing a complaint with the labor department. Otherwise, I've lost all interest in favored activities, and I struggle to see a point to trying to jump start my life.

[Indigo 'n dye]

Hello and welcome to CB. Take a look around to see how CB functions and then join in when and where you feel comfortable.

[olga]

Welcome to Crazyboards. I hope we can provide some support and helpful information.

Please read the rules when you get a chance, and contact one of the mods if there is anything you don't understand.

I hope you won't give up on psych meds just yet. It sounds like your psychiatrist has not been helpful so far---maybe you should consider seeing a different one and get a second opinion?

olga

[Teddy]

We kind of say this all the time to the new people but you've come to the right place. Olga and Indigo already said read the rules so go ahead and read them but jump in anywhere. There is a forum for everything. And I agree with Olga...you can't give up on the meds for depression. It also sounds like you might need something for psychosis but I'm not a doctor so don't take my word for it. Good luck. It sounds like you're in a really bad spot and I think a lot of us are when we stumble upon Crazyboards.