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Sounds like he is trying to keep you off balance and control you, tho of course I'm not sure. I hope I'm wrong. I guess it would be pretty hard for you to become consistent, but in some way you probably have to stand up for yourself. It's really hard to develop an "objective" view of things when you are close to someone. Are there some chores that he takes care of? If you're both working full time, then he ought to pick up some of that work at home.

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Sounds like he is trying to keep you off balance and control you, tho of course I'm not sure. I hope I'm wrong. I guess it would be pretty hard for you to become consistent, but in some way you probably have to stand up for yourself. It's really hard to develop an "objective" view of things when you are close to someone. Are there some chores that he takes care of? If you're both working full time, then he ought to pick up some of that work at home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ldo Thanks for replying.

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I should probably keep my fat mout hshut, but I think I'm genetically incapable of doing so.

I can't be perfect.  I am supposed to work full time, keep the house really clean, make meals etc.  With my generally screwed up head I always fall short.  So he gets mad.  When the house is nice he will get mad that Im not working enough.  When I am working tons of hours he will get mad that the house isn't clean enough.  Crap I am doing the best I can.  All I ever wanted was to make him happy.  I want him to be proud of me.
No, you can't be perfect. I'm a single parent, and I learned early that you can either work full time, or have the house really clean. You cannot do both! Do not own someone else's unrealistic expectations. You ARE doing the best you can, and he SHOULD be proud of you. Hold onto that realization and don't let it go. Otherwise you end up beating yourself up, or allowing someone else to do so which just leads to that downward spiral.

He says "Don't try, just do"
That is such a huge load of crap squeezed into one sentence that I can hardly stand it. Tell him the same thing about taking his ADs, or when "He just says he is going to be like this for awhile."

You are allowed to want things for yourself.

You are allowed to want to be valued.

You are allowed to be yourself.

InfoNut

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