cactushugs43 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I can only blame myself for getting useless advice from people who have no idea what it is like to go through the things I am going through, but what really grinds my gears is when people give me useless advice that they absolutely would NEVER give to anyone that really mattered to them, or take themselves if they were in what they imagine my position to be. I don't want to go into details of my own situation, but I am talking about things comparable to confiding in someone you think of as a friend about financial difficulties only to be told, with total earnestness on the friend's part, that you should really just go whore yourself out on a street corner, because hey, if you REALLY needed money you'd do whatever it takes....and I am supposed to receive this with a straight face and take it to heart and turn my life around thanks to this brilliant insight, or else I'm just a lazy slob who has no room to complain. Does anyone else have people like this in their life? How do you handle them? I want to say "are you fucking KIDDING me?" but I know their intentions are good...I'm just evidently not supposed to hold onto any shred of personal dignity if I'm having problems. It's really hard for me not to get pissed off at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I want to help, I do. Because people have given me stupid advice too. I've never told them that it's stupid. Like being told that my MI symptoms are occurring BECAUSE I'm taking meds. That's so stupid. But really, all I can think about is your avatar. Is that the cactus dude from Final Fantasy? I really think it is. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactushugs43 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 You know it. Cactuars rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I hate it as well. I just nod, smile and change the subject. Some people will never get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonnaLaugh Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 If you have a friend who honestly believes it's OK to prostitute yourself, then you need new friends. And if you think my advice sucks, then ef you. ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
december_brigette Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Why are you talking about financial stuff with a friend? Unless your friend is also a professional financial advisor. I find the old saying of "I don't have enough money to do that" usually gets the point across that I'm poor. Then again, all my friends are in the computer so... db Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octopuppy Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I have a friend who thinks that I only work part time because I'm not trying hard enough to find a 'real job'. I have another friend that thinks depression is lack of positivity. But finance is a touchy one anyway. I just don't mention certain things to certain people that refuse to accept my opinion on my own issues, and if they bring it up, tell them I don't want to discuss it. This, in turn, makes me sound like I don't want to accept their help, and that I am to blame for my problems. Double-edged. However, unless I know they're actually knowledgeable about the situation, then I feel I can trust myself to make the right choices. And whoring is almost certainly not the right choice for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I was told "you look like a normal person, so what's the problem?" Unfortunately I was so taken aback i didn't say "well, maybe, but it takes 12 medications to 'look' like this" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YetAgain Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Cactushugs43, I have to question that anyone who suggests whoring oneself for money out has good intentions. I have received similar suggestions from folks. The difference being that I've been told I should find someone for the primary purpose of getting married, in order to have access to my spouse's income. I file such suggestions under "idiocy." IRL, my only friends are my two cats. And, they never offer me bad advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactushugs43 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Maybe I just need to make a "No Advice" sign and hold it up at critical moments. Hey, I have a finger that might work for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octopuppy Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I was told "you look like a normal person, so what's the problem?" Unfortunately I was so taken aback i didn't say "well, maybe, but it takes 12 medications to 'look' like this" Ohhh now there is a favourite line of mine. You seem happy. Yes, I'm full of happy pills, thanks. Up there with What have you got to be depressed about? Oh, just that I have this brain defect. Makes me pretty sad sometimes. Actually, once, a friend told me that hallucinations were fun. I was speechless and then just cried. With friends, why isn't it enough to know it's hurting me? Okay, fine, if you don't understand what it is or why it's happening, totally okay, but accept that I'm doing everything I can but still day-to-day is scary and horrible for me and don't you think I've tried everything because I don't want to be like this! [/rant] I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from. But I feel better now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammock Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 when I get dumb advice I just give them a look like "SERIOUSLY?" when I give dumb advice I expect that look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Actually, once, a friend told me that hallucinations were fun. A former friend of mine also said that to me. I went, what? She also told me that having delusional thinking was normal, and said that I was the most normal person she had ever met. She said it to me a few times, and I just stared at her because I realised she didn't have a good understanding of my MI. So sometimes I would just change the subject. I think she was trying to tell me that my situation wasn't that bad and it was her attempt at reassurance, but with some matters, I would rather someone acknowledge my experience as being negative. I have to agree that whoever tells you to whore yourself out for money is not a friend. Real friends don't pull that shit out, because it's pretty disrespectful of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Ohhh now there is a favourite line of mine. Up there with What have you got to be depressed about? Oh, just that I have this brain defect. Makes me pretty sad sometimes. Exactly ... I get that one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactushugs43 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Up there with What have you got to be depressed about? Oh, just that I have this brain defect. Makes me pretty sad sometimes. That made me LOL. That's a good one, I'll have to remember it. And the only people who have "fun" hallucinations are boring people with no imagination. If they had my brain, they'd run crying to mama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammock Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 "I have no reason to be depressed, that's why they call it MENTAL ILLNESS and not JUST BEING SAD" freakin people, kids these days, I swear, bang zoom to the moon alice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirazh Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Methinketh that some, though undoubtedly not all, who espouse the idea of hallucinations being fun, may be thinking of fun drug trips. Octopuppy, your response of 'oh I've just got this brain defect, makes me pretty sad sometimes,' is PURE GOLD. I really hope I remember that one, if my valproex ever stops working for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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