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worried the therapist might send me to inpatient again


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hey sorry its a long post i talk alot

I have a appointment for a new therepist and im not sure it will be productive. Because

im concerened if i say to much he will send me to the inpatient center again. The truth is i might warrent a stay based off some suicidal/homicidal ideation and prescription drug use with intent to cause harm. But i really dont want to go mainly because of a combination of previous vists and the impact on family.

Ill start off with previous experience if have gone to in patient twice this year in august and september. I should probably first mention that this is a adolecent clinic. That being said they mainly focus on thinking errors and coping skills, for dealing with the usual teenage crap.

How i fit in is, i have problem determining wheather a thought is rational let alone if they are in error. But yea i do understand the concept of thinking errors. As for the coping skills, well im not in school, no job, no relationships so i dont really have stressors. But still have plenty of emotional crap. Anyways i just found little to no benefit my second visit and I think ill find less so the third.

As for family this is where it gets messy starting with my brothers who are autistic. Thus saying they are fully impact by my abcence. But dont understand the premise of mental issues. As for my two sisters the older is pretty crazy and understands. But the younger gets depressed and has nightmares when im gone. Also because my older sis has mental health issues, her therepy procsess really impacted me badly Im terrified that my hospitalization would affect my younger sis in the same way.

As for my folks well i have anger and guilt issues with my mom, and my dad has been dealing with anger and depression throughout my childhood. Also as he witnessed his mothers suicide he takes any hint of suicide very hard.

i just dont know what to do

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"The truth is i might warrent a stay based off some suicidal/homicidal ideation and prescription drug use with intent to cause harm."

You should self admit in my opinion. You're weighing hypothetical consequences of going but seem to be ignoring the somewhat inevitable consequences of not going.

You have a responsibility here.

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wow I get where you are coming from...Been there, thought and did that...If you are having suicidal ideations you should not have to worry about being admitted...You do have to be pro active and I think you are making a good step by even thinking about it enough to write here. Is there an op program by one of the ip programs you have been in? I too thought my last stay at ip last week was useless. I am sorry but the group process at least in the three I have been in this year is lame.. But...I did join what here in this certain op program is called the clairity group. I was resistant but man it is a good group. Meets 4 days a week for three hours.. Great info, great group discussion, and people who are in the same boat as you..Maybe an op program like this would be a good idea for you....Also I think if you don't go into your therapist office and say well I want to kill myself, then he or she can't admit you. If you say the thoughts go thru my head but I don't want to, then they can't. As above person stated , she thinks you should voluntarily go in...totally up to you...sometimes the admissions feel excruciating and hard to take. I went to this clairity program this time instead of readmitting myself which I almost did on Sunday but like you family issues kept me from going yet a 5th time this year...Instead the next day I joined the group...Be as strong as you can,,,its hard sometimes isn't it? Also cut yourself some slack...don't be hard on you..you have to take care of you and that is one of the hardest things I am learning to do.

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Guest Vapourware

I think you should be honest with your therapist about how you are feeling. My experience has been that therapists [and mental health professionals in general] try not to admit people into hospital unless they believe they really have no other choice.

That being said, if you are feeling like you really would act on your thoughts, then the hospital is a good choice.

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You worry about the impact of your absence on your family, but what would happen if you didn't get the help you needed? You might be gone forever. A temporary absence is much better and is nothing compared to the alternative.

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You worry about the impact of your absence on your family, but what would happen if you didn't get the help you needed? You might be gone forever. A temporary absence is much better and is nothing compared to the alternative.

I second this ^^^. Better a temporary absence to get well than a permanent one.

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You worry about the impact of your absence on your family, but what would happen if you didn't get the help you needed? You might be gone forever. A temporary absence is much better and is nothing compared to the alternative.

I couldnt agree more!! And you have to stop worrying about everyone else, and think about yourself. Talk to your therapist about other options. Maybe an intensive outpatient program (like someone else suggested above) is available and it might be a great alternative. Back when I was hospitalized in 2011, I definitely got more out of a partial hospitalization day program than I did from my inpatient stay.

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