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I've been in recovery for anorexia/bulimia for a month now. I didn't have some glamorous story, I didn't almost die, nothing like that. I was just a teenager who got caught. I was doing really well recovering, until I found the scale again... I've lost three pounds in a week. The worst part is, everyone thinks I'm still recovering. I have to see my nutritional therapist this week and she will weigh me.. This stuff is scary. I also have lots of OCD tendencies. Can I hear other people stories? My height is 5'8 I was at 100. Then I got up to 108 and now I'm back down to 105.

Have an awesome day, hope everyone is well :)

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I had an eating disorder for about 20 years (literally), and am currently recovered ... have been for about 4-5 years now. And I dont see myself going backwards ever. I am not sure what advice to give you. For me, it was a matter of gaining weight back, and my hip broke around the 20th year. Because I was house bound for awhile, I gained weight but learned to "be" in it. I had 3 hip surgeries total in 3 years, and through each surgery I gained more weight.

But after the fact, now, I still have weight on me and have no problem. One thing though is that my problem with eating it became addictive, like alcohol is to an alcoholic or cigarettes to someone who smokes. It wasn't a matter of just losing control because of an eating disorder, it was an addiction (idk how else to explain it). My pdoc had picked up on it and put me on a med to help that.

Currently idk what I weigh, but it is around 45-50 pounds heavier than I was at for a long time (from the last time I was weighed at physical). And I would rather be where I am now than thin as I was because I am much healthier. Sure, some days I wonder what it would be like to be back at a lower weight, but I find that it really doesnt bother me, and am just glad to feel healthy.

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You didn't go into any details about what started your eating disorders or why you do it, so please forgive me if I project my views when I was your age on you. But sweetie, you need to try to realistically see yourself. I have no doubt that you a beautiful young woman and there is nothing in this world worth harming your body as you have been. It's not easy to deal with the issues behind this, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can be freed from it. Food and weight need to become less important and you need to focus on becoming healthy. Put up pictures of beautiful, healthy women to remind yourself daily that being as thin as you are is not good. Look at Marilyn Monroe, she was one of the most beautiful women in American history and she was not a size 4. As you are able to change your thinking, your actions will follow and your eating will learn what is normal. Use the tools that you have been taught already and lean on those who love you. Don't let this go on and control your life for the next 20 years. I speak to you as a woman who first became anorexic about age 7, bulimic about age 9 and I'm 35 now. I never got treatment and kept it hidden for most of my life. I am just now trying to correct my relationship with food and you're probably farther in treatment than I am, but I can tell you that if you let it go as long as I have, it will seriously hurt your body and life and only get worse. Your body, mind and heart will pay for it dearly, so please do everything you can to dedicate youself to getting over this now.

Edited by jbenn003

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Thanks guys. Since I found this site, I don't feel so alone. My recovery is doing a little better now. It's not easy. But, I hope it will be worth it. Thanks again guys.

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I've been in recovery for anorexia/bulimia for a month now. I didn't have some glamorous story, I didn't almost die, nothing like that. I was just a teenager who got caught. I was doing really well recovering, until I found the scale again... I've lost three pounds in a week. The worst part is, everyone thinks I'm still recovering. I have to see my nutritional therapist this week and she will weigh me.. This stuff is scary. I also have lots of OCD tendencies. Can I hear other people stories? My height is 5'8 I was at 100. Then I got up to 108 and now I'm back down to 105.

Have an awesome day, hope everyone is well :)

You need to get rid of that scale! Sounds like you already recognize that it's a problem. Be honest with your nutritionist about the scale and your recent thoughts. Eating disorders are like a form of OCD; you're obsessed with weight/food and you compulsively restrict/binge/purge/whatever. The scale can be a big OCD thing--checking it a million times a day, etc.

What I realized was that no matter how thin I got, it didn't make me happy. In fact, when I was at my lowest weight, I hated my body more than ever. We think that engaging in ED behaviors will make us feel better--and they do, in the short term--but in the long run, they make things much worse. I've never met a happy anorexic.

On a side note, when eating disorders are recognized and treated early, that's when you have the most chance of recovery. People who live with an ED for years and then get help for it have a much lower chance of recovering and it's a much harder thing to do. So you want to tackle this problem now rather than end up as one of those of us who spend our entire lives in and out of treatment centers.

You want to get better. You want to be happy. You don't want to deal with an eating disorder for the rest of your life. So be honest about the resurgence of symptoms. Don't worry that people will be mad at you--this is a natural part of recovery.

I had an eating disorder for about 20 years (literally), and am currently recovered ... have been for about 4-5 years now.

I have rarely (if ever) seen someone who's had an ED for a long time recover, and I had been recently thinking that because I've had mine for several years, I'm going to be stuck with it for my entire life. It's really encouraging to hear that you've recovered and it gives me hope. Thank you.

Lux.

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Lux ... You are welcome. I thought I'd be stuck with mine my whole life too. I never in a million years thought anything would change. But they did, and I am glad you have the hope that you do. Keep working at it!

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I'm glad you didn't almost die. "Glamor" is grotesquely overrated.

I would say get rid of the scale. I have had some success avoiding body hate by doing that, and some days even wearing loose layers of clothing so I don't see myself in silhouette. Recovery is hard work. It takes a lot of guts.

As for me, I've had ED behaviors since I was twelve or so. I slipped under the radar all through school, maybe because I'm a guy. I was diagnosed with anorexia at nineteen, but only because I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt. I've been in recovery off and on for about eight years now, with relapses. I'm 27. Like was already mentioned, catching the disorder and starting treatment early improves your prognosis.

I've found it helpful to learn how to cook and make healthy meals. It was easier, especially at the start of recovery, to rationalize eating more by telling myself it was part of a well rounded diet. Later I also took up lifting and running, which made it even easier to eat because I would tell myself I had to fuel the machine.

Motivational pictures are good. They don't have to be athletes or models. It can be a musician, author, artist, scientist, or any role model you admire. I sometimes leave myself notes on the fridge like "skim milk is not breakfast" or "the cat would want you to eat." It sounds weird, but they work.

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