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Hey...i've just recently been put back on medications. Before i was put back on them i was very delusional and was experiencing light hallucinations.

Now that i am on them...i don't really hallucinate, but i am still very paranoid and delusional. I am starting out with 1MG of Risperidone. I am also under lots of stress.

I keep feeling like someone is out to hurt me. I don't have a founded, sound reason for this...but i am absolutely afraid!!!! Unexpected things happen in my life all the time and i just feel like something is going to happen to me :'(!!! The best part about it is that i usually know whats real and whats not. But this line right here is quite blurry for me.

I always feel like ppl are staring, yelling, or laughing at me. When i walk down the street i nearly spin around in circles trying to make sure no one is behind me. I just feel overcome with worry and anxiety. I am getting ready to finally move into my first place and i think that's what's setting me off. i can barely function. I came home tonite to drink...its been a few hours since my last sip so i am going to take my meds.

But idk what to do...i'm supposed to see my doctor in 2 weeks. i hope i last that long!!

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Its nearly unbearable! Smh...yet i still push myself and go to work and manage to seem somewhat normal. I work full time too. Its just the whole bus commute and the hundreds of co-workers...dealing with random ppl...my paranoia kicks in and i don't understand how i'm even making it through the day. The office will be closed tomorrow bc of the holiday...so i'll have to wait until Friday,

I'll just keep isolating myself from groups of ppl until then. I'm so scared!!

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Guest Vapourware

It's really hard when you're feeling scared, but I've found challenging my thought processes can help. Like, telling myself that the chances of being hurt by a stranger are pretty remote and most people are concerned about themselves than about others. It seems you have some insight into what's happening so that's a good sign. I agree that you let your pdoc know about this soon.

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I've dealt with this level of paranoia, and the only things I've found that worked was to a) get away from people as much as possible while b) I got my medications adjusted to control the inner paranoia. For me, risperdal helped me a lot in reducing paranoia, but I found that getting away from people helped even more. Is there any way you can take a few days off while you contact your pdoc and see if you can adjust your medications?

Another suggestion I have is seeing if your pdoc thinks a super fast-acting short-term AAP such as zyprexa would help you gets big leg up over this episode? I have my standard meds, but I take zyprexa as an emergency med when I have episodes that my regular meds don't cover.

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Canyou work on ways to reduce your stress? My hallucinations come and go with stres, so when they kick in I:

  • Stop drinking alcohol/caffeine
  • Get good sleep
  • Eat three meals a day and keep my blood sugar steady
  • Talk to my loved ones about how I really feel
  • Use helplines
  • Journal
  • Use headphones to drown out noise in public
  • Use breathing exercises and visualizations to make me feel safe
  • Carry a rape alarm
  • Do one relaxing thing I enjoy a day
  • Make sure I take my meds and keep in touch with my pdoc
  • Exercise off some adrenaline, indoors if I don't feel safe.

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I've dealt with this level of paranoia, and the only things I've found that worked was to a) get away from people as much as possible while b) I got my medications adjusted to control the inner paranoia. For me, risperdal helped me a lot in reducing paranoia, but I found that getting away from people helped even more. Is there any way you can take a few days off while you contact your pdoc and see if you can adjust your medications?

Another suggestion I have is seeing if your pdoc thinks a super fast-acting short-term AAP such as zyprexa would help you gets big leg up over this episode? I have my standard meds, but I take zyprexa as an emergency med when I have episodes that my regular meds don't cover.

I can't afford to take days off right now. I usually stay to myself at work. I don't talk too much to anyone. I feel like i get overstimulated and i believe i'm come off as severely awkward. But for some reason, people come to ME...all the time. Ugh!

Canyou work on ways to reduce your stress? My hallucinations come and go with stres, so when they kick in I:

  • Stop drinking alcohol/caffeine----need to do this
  • Get good sleep----getting that thanks to my risperidone
  • Eat three meals a day and keep my blood sugar steady----i try
  • Talk to my loved ones about how I really feel-----HA!! I can't really talk to too many ppl
  • Use helplines
  • Journal
  • Use headphones to drown out noise in public----I do this, i actually meltdown if i forget my headphones. Especially because i catch the bus everywhere.

  • Use breathing exercises and visualizations to make me feel safe----i do this
  • Carry a rape alarm----where can i buy this?
  • Do one relaxing thing I enjoy a day----i don't know how to relax
  • Make sure I take my meds and keep in touch with my pdoc----okay :)
  • Exercise off some adrenaline, indoors if I don't feel safe.----i need to do this

I am still very paranoid. I won't be able to get in touch with my doctor until Monday :( Every. Single. Person. was suspect today. Of what? No clue...i just keep feeling like someone is out to hurt me and it is just a very uneasy feeling. I feel like it will never go away :unsure:

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There are certain things you can do in this very moment that can calm you, and will calm you in a moment of crisis.

  • Focus on your breathing. Is it labored? Shallow? Rapid? Are you not breathing at all? Listen to your breathing. First, inhale to a count of 4, hold your breath to a count of 4, release for a count of 6, hold for a count of 4, and repeat the original inhale to a count of 4.. Continue this pattern for five repetitions.
  • Focus on the temperature of your body. Are your hands hot or cold? Is your face hot or cold? If so, you can do the following: Go to the nearest bathroom, rinse your face and hands. If you are on the bus, simply drink from a cooled bottle of water, hold the bottle, hold the cold metal bars of the subways and buses. Or use hand sanitizer, and it can have a therapeutic smell too :)
  • Focus on your anxiety. Are you shaking or are you still? Are you paranoid, delusional and anxious? Think about the things, places, delicious foods that do NOT make you anxious/paranoid/delusional. For me, they are: weasels, cats, goats, water, meditation, love, psychology, my mom, my future girlfriend, my ipod and the art I make.

There are other things but I can't think of them now.

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when i was bad (before i knew what was wrong with me) with anxiety to the point of paranoia i'd cling to rythmatic things to get me out of it....like my foot steps, watching my feet as i walked...repeating to myself almost mantra like "it's not real" helps keep you grounded....clinging to an mp3 player helps alot - chill music, when the world around you is running itself ragged - and sunglasses - an absolute must...even on overcast days. you cannot believe how much just cutting out the light helps...you also get to hide behind them.

i dunno. maybe it was different for me, but i'd end up in sensory overload, totally raw and exposed, getting worse and worse with each passing moment. if i could *control* the environment, i could manage a little better. it's not an answer, but at least you can get the shopping done.

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when i was bad (before i knew what was wrong with me) with anxiety to the point of paranoia i'd cling to rythmatic things to get me out of it....like my foot steps, watching my feet as i walked...repeating to myself almost mantra like "it's not real" helps keep you grounded....clinging to an mp3 player helps alot - chill music, when the world around you is running itself ragged - and sunglasses - an absolute must...even on overcast days. you cannot believe how much just cutting out the light helps...you also get to hide behind them.

i dunno. maybe it was different for me, but i'd end up in sensory overload, totally raw and exposed, getting worse and worse with each passing moment. if i could *control* the environment, i could manage a little better. it's not an answer, but at least you can get the shopping done.

This all sounds like me. I NEVER leave my house without my sunglasses and music.

That's exactly how it feels tho. Paranoia with sensory overload.

I go back to the doctor next week. Ugh!

Edited by Confetti
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