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ryanddeee

Obsessive Ruminations: What meds work for you?

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Hello,

 

I have Obsessive Ruminations that are so bad they make me feel like i'm going to lose my mind.

 

Here's a piece of my Introduction that will explain my thoughts:

"I have "Obsessive Ruminations" about life, why we are here and how none of it makes sense to me.

It started when I was around 11 years old. I am the type of person that has to see it to believe it, so this whole being alive thing and there being no explanation for it really drives my mind crazy. These obsessive ruminations can get so bad that I become dizzy and disorientated, and my greatest fear is that I stay in this disorientated state permanently. The disorientated state that I'm talking about feels like I have lost my mind and nothing makes sense. Luckily, the duration of these episodes is normally only a few seconds and has only happened around ten times in my life. One thing to note is that these ruminations always start when I'm having a tough time in my life; stress, anxiety and depression can all be start of it."

 

So, I am currently on 2.5mg/day of Abilify and 0.5mg x 4/day of Ativan. I've been on Abilify for 5 weeks and Ativan for 6 weeks.

This seemed to keep my mind at peace for a while, but now I am anxious as hell an hour after I take a .5mg dose of Ativan, and sometimes I don't feel the Ativan at all...

 

The Ativan:

Without my doctor's permission (I don't see him for another week) I have bumped my dosage of Ativan to 1mg x 3/day, which seems to help, but I feel like 1mg x 4/day would really be the right dose.

 

The Abilify:

I can feel that the Abilify is blocking my thoughts somewhat, which is good, but without the Ativan it makes me feel a little strange and anxious.

However, maybe bumping the dosage (only with my doctor's permission!) will help. I don't know and a worried because it makes me feel a bit strange, but mabe because my body is not completely used to it.

 

I believe that either the dosage of the two drugs is wrong or my cocktail is wrong (I already know my brain is wrong :)), so I'm curious to know what other people are taking for Obsessive Ruminations.

 

What are you taking for Obsessive Ruminations and how much?

 

Any thoughts or suggestions about my situation; in general, the meds, etc.?

 

Thanks,

Ryan D

 

 

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i take a low dose of seroquel and it worked wonders. in five days i felt like a completely different person, my obsessiveness decreased by at least 80%. nto sure what group of drugs abilify is in but mny psychiatrist said low doses of an antipsychotic can be really helpful.

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Try Zoloft even tho I'm not a doctor that maybe will help you. Also you have to accept that you will be this way the rest of your life. My theme is I fear I'm at God's Judgment and at any moment I could be thrown in hell. It's a litl religous OCD mixed with EOCD and can become quite terrieing. But Ya I have battled thru these thoughts with Exposure and just flat out ignoring them. It took five almost six yr's to get where I'm at but what you are describing sounds like depresonilazation because it has happen only ten times and last a few seconds and then you can shake yourself out of it. My was an ongoing thing which I d to work accepting it rather the try to reason it with knowledge cuz that just won't work. Hang in there Pm me anytime you need to talk.

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Thanks for the responses - much appreciated!

 

HoneyBun,

My doctor was deciding between Seroquel XR and Abilify; we went with Abilify, so I assume they are very similar.

Maybe I'll give Seroquel a go if this doesn't get better.

 

ScrambleHead,

Interesting, I don't really know what my diagnosis is. I'll ask the doc on Thursday.

 

sonicwhite,

I've taken Zoloft in the past but didn't like it much, although, I didn't give it a fair shot; took it for 3 days. I'll talk to the doc to see what he thinks about adding (or subbing) Zoloft.

I am completely aware that i'll be this way the rest of y life, because i've been this way ALL MY LIFE. But now, I'm actually talking to people about it and hopefully going to be able to make it better. You might get an IM from me if I'm having one of those days...

 

I'll update this post Thursday after I see my doctor.

 

Any other thoughts from you guys or anyone else?

 

Thanks,

Ryan D

Edited by ryanddeee

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sonicwhite!!!

 

Depersonalization?!?!?!?!?!?!

I just looked this up because I had never heard the term. This is me!!!!!!

Holy shit and there's a word for it/me! I thought I was the only one, but there's a fucking word for it!!!

 

Before I read the wikipedia definition/description I felt so alone, now a bit of that is gone.

 

 

 

Wow!

Edited by ryanddeee

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I have something similar right now constantly, it is supposedly anxiety but I am getting a scan.

I have dp, ocd, anxiety.

I'm worried I'm gonna become a vegetable.

Edited by ScrambleHead

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I woke up at 2:00 am this morning because I couldn't sleep; anxious to read about Depersonalization

I called my doctor's office and left a message letting them know that I want to come in ASAP (even though I have an appointment Thursday).

I want to hear his thoughts on Depersonalization. And I want to know why he didn't come up with this diagnosis <_< . Oh well, at least someone did (sonicwhite  :)).

 

ScrambleHead,

I'm down for getting a scan. I want to do whatever it takes to figure this out and fix it, or at least help it.

 

Good luck with the scan. PM me if you want to talk ever.

 

Does anyone know if there's an 'acronym key' somewhere on this site? Being new I have no clue what half of them stand for, ex.  D.P.?

 

Thanks,

Ryan D

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I woke up at 2:00 am this morning because I couldn't sleep; anxious to read about Depersonalization

I called my doctor's office and left a message letting them know that I want to come in ASAP (even though I have an appointment Thursday).

I want to hear his thoughts on Depersonalization. And I want to know why he didn't come up with this diagnosis <_< . Oh well, at least someone did (sonicwhite  :)).

 

Sonicwhite didn't diagnose you!  Saying things like that really isn't funny, even if you were just joking, but if you were being remotely serious, please get that idea out of your head right now.  It's extremely important to talk to your pdoc and not just go by someone's suggestions on a message board, EVEN IF and ESPECIALLY IF they seem to explain everything.  Maybe your pdoc DID make a mistake, but maybe he also ruled it out based on info you gave him (because he's your doctor) and didn't give us (because NO ONE HERE IS QUALIFIED TO DIAGNOSE YOU and this is a MESSAGE BOARD, not a medical appointment!).

 

Ahem.  I believe DP earlier refers to "depersonalization" in this thread, but I haven't seen it used that way other places on the board.  We have a pretty good glossary.

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Of course he didn't diagnose me!

But he pointed me towards something that I had never heard of, and it so happened to be exactly what I have been experiencing for MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!

So I apologize for making that statement during my excitement; better yet, my RELIEF!!!! 

 

I appreciate your concern and I absolutely plan on speaking with my pdoc about it immediately.

 

Thanks for the link to the glossary.

 

Take care,

Ryan D

Edited by ryanddeee

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Sister Hand Grenade of Enlightened Forgiveness,

I have to be honest, your post completely killed my mood.

I'd suggest sending content like that in a PM, or at least having something positive to say after you reprimand me in a forum.

 

Ryan D

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Ryan, you may have realized by now that CB isn't a place where we walk on egg shells. We also don't really do the positive-negative-positive sandwich thing here. 

 

I'm glad you have found a word to ask your doc about and that you are excited about it.

 

To be honest, I wouldn't have gotten "depersonalization" from what you wrote in your initial post.

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I don't need any positive/negative combo sandwiches. 

I was simply thanking the person for bringing the term depersonalization to my attention; it might change my life. SERIOUSLY CHANGE MY LIFE, so please let me express myself however I choose.

My throat was jumped down right after i found out about a condition that mirrors my everyday hell. I might have said somethings that were not PC but I apologized for that. 

 

CB has helped me in so many ways over the past few weeks, and this, in my opinion, is going to be the biggest difference maker. At least I have some hope now.

Edited by ryanddeee

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I was only trying to correct a very dangerous possible assumption on your part.  CrazyBoards has had people come here and ask to be diagnosed, so it's not far-fetched to think that you, as a new member, might not talk to your pdoc about this and just assume that you now know exactly what's going on and how to treat it.

 

(It's personally tempting to rewrite that post as if I really were angry at you and "jumping down your throat", but I'll refrain.  I'm capable of far more vitriol and anger than I displayed, trust me.)

 

ryanddee, you're also contradicting yourself.  First you said "I want to know why he didn't come up with this diagnosis  <_< . Oh well, at least someone did (sonicwhite   :))."  Then you said "Of course he didn't diagnose me!"  Okay, well, so the first statement was hyperbole, I can get that.  But then 15 minutes later, you said to me (presumably) "I'd suggest sending content like that in a PM, or at least having something positive to say after you reprimand me in a forum."  Then you say "I don't need any positive/negative combo sandwiches."

 

The first two statements contradicting each other can be somewhat written off as exaggerating, but...  when you do it twice, it starts to look like a pattern.  Were you aware that you're doing this?

 

I have re-read this thread quite a few times now and I see neither of the following:  "somethings that were not PC" ...  your post didn't attack me in any way; it's just not how things are done around here, as Wooster (a moderator, as you can tell by the "staff" graphic underneath her avatar) explained...   nor do I see an apology.   I don't need or want an apology, but you referenced two things that as far as I can tell don't exist in this thread, and I'm confused.

 

Also, uh, you referred to me by my usertitle (which is funny!) but the username is the part in blue in the grey area just above the post.  If you look at where your username is when you post, mine is in the same place on my post.

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I apologize, saveyoursanity.

I was simply excited to find out about a disorder that MIGHT help explain the way I feel. It is that simple.

 

Yes, I definitely did contradict myself on the second part about positive responses; I was assuming that's what i was going to get after I displayed excitement learning about Depersonalization Disorder.

So when you responded with something else, I got defensive. I tend to overreact, no doubt about it.

However, to find out about a disorder that is defined by exactly what you are feeling is a big deal. 

 

Well, I'm heading to the doc today and obviously curious to hear what he thinks.

 

Have a good one,

Ryan

Edited by ryanddeee

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So when you responded with something else, I got defensive. I tend to overreact, no doubt about it.

 That is most definitely something to work on and through with you PDOC and your TDOC.

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It went well, thanks for asking.

I met with my pdoc and tdoc back-to-back yesterday.

They both believe that I have symptoms of Depersonalization.

 

The psychiatrists response; Upped my Ablilify from 2.5mg/day to 5mg/day to help stop the obsessive ruminations, and irrational thoughts which is caused by Depersonalization.

 

The therapists response: We need to work on "disputing irrational thoughts". Possibly doing some hypnotherapy. She believes that I need to be taking something like Zoloft, Vybriid, etc. along with the Abilify to help keep my anxiety down and depression away. She was very positive and kept repeating that this is something we can take care of and that we just need to get me "grounded." I left there feeling good and hopeful.

 

So far today, my thoughts have been good, but the day is long, so we'll see how it goes....

 

Ryan D

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Awesome sauce! I'm glad you feel like you're getting good care.

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