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Does your non-bp spouse bore the snot out of you?


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Hello fellow bp's ...I'm new..I did post my intro on the "who the hell are you" forum.

Anyway my question is this? Do any of you sometimes find your non-bp spouse boring as hell?

I feel really guilty about this...he's a lovely man, and as cliche as it sounds he really is my best friend.

But sometimes I just don't understand how he's so content to watch TV for hours at a time, that he's not as curious about things as I am..that he doesn't have a need for conversation or new experiences.

And of couse he doesn't find sex as wildly interesting as I do. I feel sometimes like I'm his entertainment committee....I wouldn't mind him being a little entertaining once in  awhile. 

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I used to years ago, before i knew I was bipolar.

dh will watch the same movie over and over and I will be like WTF?

I think after years (10yrs this valentime's day) of him not wanting to go anywhere or do anything I have settled for a life of boredom.

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I don't think bp has anything too much to do with whether a person is entertaining or not (maybe whether they're irritating or not. lol). Having fun is different from being fun--the first is a personal (or clinical) state. The latter is relational, a function of personality. In other words, non-bps can be very fun just because they don't have spazzy mood swings to contend with or inflict on others (stable hyperthymia if you must know).

Try to remember why you married this man in the first. You must have known about his habits/personality before you committed. What bargain, strategies, rationalizations did you make with yourself?

good luck,

7

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Yes Seven I do remember why I married this man...I knew what he was like before...I married him...and his laid back nature is one of the many things I love about him.  I will repeat that I just "sometimes" find him boring.  I dont' find him boring because he isn't bp... I just occasionally find him boring because I am bp. I find lots of non-bp people fun to be with, including my husband,

I just get frustrated with his ability to be contented so easily, perhaps ,I'm envious of that. Just wondered if any other bp's felt this way sometimes.

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I just occasionally find him boring because I am bp. I find lots of non-bp people fun to be with, including my husband,

I just get frustrated with his ability to be contented so easily, perhaps ,I'm envious of that. Just wondered if any other bp's felt this way sometimes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i don't mean to give you a hard time, but curiosity and stimulation seeking behavior are your qualities--not necessarily those of bp (many many non-bps also possess those qualities). In fact, there are bps who are so sensitive, they go out of their way to avoid stimulation. That said, hypomania is a different story and if it's been going on long enough, it may become a problem.

Marriages are known for losing their zing sometimes, no? Basically, what I'm saying is I would be careful about what you're attributing to your dx as opposed to who you are and taking ownership.

all the best,

7

 

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Hi there, welcome to the boards.  First off, don't feel guilty! You're airing your feelings and that's why we're here!

I think relationships are too individualized.  I also don't think it has anything to do with being bipolar.  For instance, my last girlfriend bored me to tears but my current one I find quite "exciting" if you will.  Neither of them are bipolar (although the curren one did earn a dx of GAD.) 

Compatability is a strange thing.  So is attraction.  And relationships tend to change, shift, wax and wane over time.

Maybe you're not finding your spouse boring but actually feeling something missing within own your life? Maybe you need a new challenge or something to peak your interest/s whatever they may be.

Perhaps you could look into some courses or pick up a new hobby?

What do you think? Sound remotely close or amy I totally off in left field?

Karen

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