Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
Test Subject

Second thoughts...why now?

Recommended Posts

My ex left me almost five months ago because he wasn't sure what he wanted out of our relationship. The break-up tore me up...even though I wasn't exactly happy with him, either. I figured it was one of those "don't know what you got 'till it's gone" kind of things (it doesn't help that I have bad commitment issues ><).

 

Let's go back two days ago. I admitted to my ex that I still have feelings for him. Instead of friend-zoning me again, he admitted he wouldn't mind giving us another try to see where things go. There aren't really any commitments right now, but we're giving it time before we decide to become official.

 

On one hand, I feel blessed, but on the other...I don't. Maybe it's because I'd like to be more than just "friends with benefits" at the moment, but I'm not sure. Maybe my issues are flaring up again and, while I want him, I don't want him at the same time. Or maybe our past still haunts me a bit...my family is worried that he'll end up hurting me again.

 

Something just doesn't feel right, and I don't know what to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you want to be more than "friends with benefits", make that crystal clear.  It may cost you a second go with your ex... but it may not. Either way, you can avoid being put through the wringer [hopefully] again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Recluse

In your place, I wouldn't return to him.

 

You weren't happy even while you were with him, however that old saying has some truth to it, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'  What that saying means is that it's easy to forget those things that you disliked about he and the relationship on the whole while you aren't there immersed in it.  You are bound to be lonely and have residual feelings for him, just like most people who have ended a relationship, however you do yourself a disservice by potentially making yourself do it all over again.

 

You survived the breakup.  It sounds like it was really rough for you, and you made it out.  If you return to him, he will -still- be the person you weren't happy with, and as a result, it is very likely that you will resume being as unhappy as you were before once the 'honeymoon' phase of the renewed relationship is over with.

 

Also, that entire 'not sure what he wanted out of your relationship' sets my teeth on edge.  It's the kind of thing that a person says when they don't want to say what their real reasons are.  You don't need that kind of wishy-washy thinking in your life, and if the guy is so fickle that he'd do it once, you are right to believe he would do it again.

 

The hard work of breaking up is done. 

Don't make yourself do it again with this guy.

Edited by Recluse

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ask yourself if "friends with benefits" is going to get you what you want in the long run? If not then it's best just to cut it off at this point before you get hurt. It's probably not going to turn into a long-term relationship and objectively you need to ask yourself if he is worth it in the end. If you're happy with things as they are make sure you're fully aware of the situation and aren't going to get strung along.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate a bit.. maybe you don't want him back but you want him to want you back? I don't know how to explain! I was depressed that my ex didnt want me back and when he did i realized that i didnt want him back i just wanted to have the control again!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you want HIM, or do you just want somebody?  If you were unhappy the first time, what is different now?  I have been there, done that with relationships, and I can tell you from experience that it usually doesn't work out the 2nd or 3rd etc time around. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish my ex wanted me back.. Thats not something everyone gets- a second chance... Idk I feel like youre lucky especially if you two were best friends and bf and gf.. Its like you have your partner in crime again. 

 

Have a t alk him with about the problems youve had before and make sure you both understand that you both need to try to fix things and support each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...