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I don't know if this is in the right room.  Sorry if not.

I had really bad depression for about a month or two after my Effexor 225mg pooped out on me.  My pdoc was quick on getting me off that and on Lexapro.  He has questioned a couple times about possible bipolar, but has stuck with my current dx of depression with anxiety and ocd.

Well, last week was finally a good week.  My energy level was way up and I was a freak.  My house was the cleanest it's ever been.  Given that and a couple other things I told my therapist, she says she thinks Im bipolar, and was manic.  She ends up calling my pdoc to speak with him.  Anyway, she leaves him a message.  He finally calls her back and leaves her a message saying that he hopes it was just me finally feeling good since I've been so depressed, and that he doesnt see any clues of bipolar.  Well, my therapist still thinks Im bipolar, my pdoc doesn't.  My therapist thinks Im allowing myself to get depressed, not fighting against it.  My pdoc seems to just be getting sick of me.  I really like both of them, but am starting to think Im a helpless, hopeless case.  I just want to feel normal, even, not with all these highs and lows.  If Im not bipolar, fine, it's not like I want to be.  I just want to be treated right so I can feel better.

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You are NOT a "helpless, hopeless case."  A lot of us have felt that way at various times...  It's horrible, to feel like your condition can never get better.

But it CAN improve.  A lot.  What most of us want is to feel normal, so you aren't alone in that either.

Have you thought about maybe getting a second opinion from another pdoc?  That might help.

We're here for you.  Okay?

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I agree with caligatia! You are going to be OK.

It just takes time. There are so many different medications- so many things you can try- and that is what I have to keep telling myself whenever I have to switch medications- there is something that WILL work for me. It will just take time!

What do YOU think?? Did you feel that one week that you deff. were experiencing an unusual high? I have quesitoned myself many times if I actually am in a "manic" stage or if I'm just feeling a bit more happy/energetic then normal. Give it some time...see what happens and maybe a second opinion wouldn't be such a bad thing--- although I know how much it SUCKS to keep telling doctors your "story" over and over again! (My God I could talk for 5 hours straight about everything that has happened in my life.)

Things will work out...try to remain as hopeful as possible!

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Since I've been diagnosed as BP2, and seem to be in a constant depression, anytime I start to feel good I feel that I'm supposed to believed this is a mania.

When does feeling great and getting a lot of stuff done constitute a mania? It seems no one ever knows and it's totally subjective. My  so called hypomanic times have been the most productive and enjoyable experiences of my life. High achievement now seems to carry a black cloud that really gets me second guessing myself, which in turns, bums me out.

I really can't say if the mood stabilizers I take really ever helped my depression. I do feel they flatten my out, a mood I don't care for at all,

Who the hell knows.

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As of right now, I definetly feel like I was manic.  I was way high, unusually high.  I felt different.  The other day (Thursday), I was feeling great, but not the way I felt that week.  I felt "normal".  I had a "normal" amount of energy, my head was clear, it was really good.  Now, Im going between feeling good, and feeling crappy (moody, down, tired, anxious).  I don't really feel badly depressed though, just mild.  Ugh, I wish I could feel good for more than one day.

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WW - (which could also stand for Wonder Woman)

Your P and T docs conversing by answering machine isn't acceptable.  They need to have a real conversation, especially since they're operating off of conflicting diagnoses.  You can't get adequate treatment that way.  Tell one or the other or both of them that you want them to actually have a conversation.

And no giving up on help.  Nunna that.  You're going to be ok.

Cerberus

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As of right now, I definetly feel like I was manic.  I was way high, unusually high.  I felt different.  The other day (Thursday), I was feeling great, but not the way I felt that week.  I felt "normal".  I had a "normal" amount of energy, my head was clear, it was really good.  Now, Im going between feeling good, and feeling crappy (moody, down, tired, anxious).  I don't really feel badly depressed though, just mild.  Ugh, I wish I could feel good for more than one day.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi there,

  i understand the problem u are having with your diagnosis.  usually bipolar isnt diagnosed until the mania is causing problems in your life (clean room sounds ok to me).  good luck with things.  sounds like right now you are just feeling crappy and maybe some med changes might really help a lot with the depressive side of things... which can just be like the "blahs" or frustration for me too! 

dont know how long you have been taking lexapro but if it hasnt helped maybe cymbalta might be another med to give a go, since its similar to effexor and my pdoc pushes it a lot so it must be real popular nowadays.

hang in there and the Dx thing will sort itself out.  you're taking risperdal?  thats actually used for bipolar too, anyways.

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