Necroleon Blownapart Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'm feeling really down lately. Being ill all the time is getting under my skin. I know everyone here knows that drill. I'm in pain a lot with sciatica even with the exercises and meds to help control it. Headaches, nightmares and trauma shit, depression, sleeping poorly. Whine, whine, whine. It seems to me that I piss and moan a lot. I'm moody and irritable. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, not even things that I usually enjoy. I isolate myself. I'm annoyed with every little fucking thing. It seems like all I do is complain. It makes me feel guilty, especially for my partner who has to live with that. I irritate myself, just listening to myself talk. I do try to keep positive. I write gratitude lists. I try to call or IM with people just to touch base with them. I do pretty well keeping up with stuff in the house. Play with the cat. It just doesn't feel like it's enough. It doesn't make me feel better. I'm just doing it because I feel bad for being such an asshole. I don't know what to do except ask the pdoc for a possible med tweak and keep my fucking mouth shut. I just feel like I suck right now and I needed the vent. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluechick Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 Therapy therapy therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 I know what you mean about feeling like you talk about your illness(es) all the time. There are times I feel that I am comprised of only my illness. As bluechick suggested, therapy is really good for working through these feelings and finding ways to cope with your feelings. Are you in therapy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necroleon Blownapart Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 Aw, hey, thanks for the replies. I'm in therapy, yeah. We mostly focus on trauma, but there's a little CBT in there too. Those skills seem to help as much as anything, especially with the irritability and moodiness. I talked to my T about this in my appointment last week, and she was the one who suggested that I ask for an increase on my depression meds. I'm taking Zoloft, but I've only been on it a couple months, so I still have some room to go up. Some days are better than others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 i'm sorry Necrolean. i understand. i struggle with not "complaining", and like PR said, sometimes i feel like that's all i have to talk about is being ill. i feel guilty about it, too. i wish i could be a person that others could enjoy, yanno? but i'm just NOT. not right now. maybe for you it's just "not right now", too. it won't last, a day will come where not every little thing will drive you crazy, or hurt your body, or make you want to hide forever. that's what i'm holding out for. in the meantime bring all the whine you want to CB. i'd bring the cheese, but i'm not allowed to have any because of the MAOI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necroleon Blownapart Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 Thanks lysergia. i'm sorry Necrolean. i understand. i struggle with not "complaining", and like PR said, sometimes i feel like that's all i have to talk about is being ill. i feel guilty about it, too. i wish i could be a person that others could enjoy, yanno? but i'm just NOT. not right now. maybe for you it's just "not right now", too. it won't last, a day will come where not every little thing will drive you crazy, or hurt your body, or make you want to hide forever. that's what i'm holding out for. This is nice to read. I need to remember that I'm not always a downer. There have been times when I've felt better, and been able to enjoy my life instead of just going through the motions and feeling bad all the time. This hasn't always been this way. Thanks. I needed that. in the meantime bring all the whine you want to CB. i'd bring the cheese, but i'm not allowed to have any because of the MAOI Haha! I appreciate that. I'll leave the Cheddar at the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts