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"I can't be your friend"


Breebree93
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And whhhhhy? Because I support gay marriage.

 

"Oh, you're so cute, you're so sexy, I wish I could cuddle you!" 

 

"I support gay marriage." 

 

"Fuck that shit."

 

 

 

It isn't like this person was important to me, he was saying weird shit from the start.

 

The thing that really sucks is, is that people can decide they hate someone else because they have different beliefs. 

"You're not a Christian, you don't deserve to talk to me."

"Oh shit! You're a democrat!/republican!"

"Gay marriage isn't right, you shouldn't support it, I can't talk to you." 

"You think I shouldn't own a gun? Well I think you shouldn't know me."

etc.

 

 

People who judge other people on their beliefs suck.  

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There are some people that are just so full of hate and ignorance that I would never be friends with them. So while we are more . . . considerate and thoughtful in life, well hell, I still don't want to be friends with an asshole like that. 

 

But where the beliefs differ minimally and we don't have to talk about it, well, that's fine.

 

I really don't want to be friends with a person who wouldn't be friends with a person who supports gay marriage. That person sounds like an asshole. And I'm judging him right now. Can't help it.

 

So maybe I'm just as bad then?

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I deeply care about the stances of some key topics in friends of mine, else they are held waaaay out at 'acquaintance' level or further.

I have zero desire to have homophoobes, transphobes, racists, etc. in my personal circle. Other issues too but no need to detail. I have. Precious enough energy as it is, don't need to waste it on coping with douchecanoes in what is supposed to be my social sanctuary from the rest of the world.

I personally feel no moral quandry over hating or at least avoiding those of the privileged who shit on the marginalised. I'm not perfect m'self, for me a lot of it as well is in how they or I respond to such privilege-waggling being called out.

Being judgemental is a part of life. Part of interacting socially. As much as I tend to play educator/mediator, all too often those who try to please everyone, who try to never take a side, who try to allow even hate speech in the name of free speech, they just provide room for the louder/stronger/larger/richer/more established/more privileged people and groups to take over the area entirely. Like, seeing some former friends of mine remain friiends with blatent transphobes who rejected me when I came out. "Oh but I don't want to pick sides." Except you have. You have shown me that you are willing to overlook aspects of this person, things *I cannot overlook because I do not have cis privilege,* in the name of remaining friends with them. You have shown me that you are okay with ignoring transphobia and enabling transphobes to think their behaviour and opinions are okay. You have shown yourself to be no friend of mine.

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I'm with Miron. I have some key stances that if someone doesn't agree with me they're never going to be a close friend or even a friendly acquaintance. I likely don't hate them but I might wish that they step on a leggo every single day for the rest of their lives/until they get less jerky.

 

Homophobes, transphobes, racists, mysogynists and people who don't care about their pets need not apply to be in my life.If they're already in my life I'll try to educate and if that fails I'll straight up cut them out of my life. I have a very finite amount of energy and I'm not going to spend it on people who won't acknowledge the rights of others. Getting through the day is hard enough without feeling like I need to manage the hateful opinions of others.

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