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Hi,

I have this symptom I really struggle to describe and now thank German Wikipedia it seems that I have found the right description. (it has happened many times and it has been a dud many times but here we go again)

I'm disoriented in time and space. I can look at the clock and read it but it has no meaning to me. When the clock says 10:00 pm it doesn't mean “night” “sleeping time” to me. It means absolutely nothing to me. When it's week end, it means nothing to me. I know that the next day might be new years eve, but it means nothing to me and I might forget about it in 30 seconds and go on as if it's a regular summer day. I'm basically completely lost in time. And if that's not apparent, it's really bad because I feel completely lost in time and being lost feels really scarey. So that's it about time.

Now about space. I might sit in the bus. But it won't feel like bus. It will feel like I'm sitting in absolute fucking void. Everywhere it's just meaningless void. It doesn't make any difference to me whether am sitting in the doc's waiting room or in my own room. It's all void and oh boy in such a bad way. It's like being separated from the whole world and floating somewhere in outer space observing the earth through a camera mounted on my physical bodies head. It might sound okey but it's absolutely horrible because I feel like I'm absolutely nowhere. The opposite of feeling grounded TO THE MAX. The worst part about it is that I don't feel at home anywhere because I just don't feel the space around me at all. Very confusing, very annoying, HELL.

Can someone relate to this stuff? Is there a name for it? how to get rid of it maybe? (with supplements maybe LOL X-)

Cheerz
bear.

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I totally get this. My parents do not really like me traveling alone because I get lost or injured alot because of my relation to time or space. I run into a lot of things and just recently I fell down an entire flight of concrete stairs cause I couldn't measure the depth of the stairs. I never know what time is it or when I have doctors appointments so all of my docs call my mom I wear a watch so that kind of helps, and I have a smart phone and an mp3 player that all helps too.. I have a ton of planners that I have bought but I have used none of them. I am not really sure what causes them. My pdoc told me If I get like this that means my one of my medications (my AP in particular) is too high of a dose. But I am experiencing too many psychotic symptoms to stop taking seroquel in order to stop falling on my ass. 

 

I hope you find something that helps you. Reminders and electronics help me with the remembering part, not really the physical part.

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I can understnad the spane thing. Because when  my psychosis flares up I feel hopeless and I am in Hell. I think about I would rather be in a lake of fire then that mental angiush. It's kinda like being detetched from everything around you and you have no way to jolt yourself out of it. I just know the feeling and my thoughts are with you!

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I get disoriented to space and time as well. Also depersonalization. Derealization. I am not aware of anything that goes around me, I don't know what date it is most of the time, everything is dreamlike. The only reason why I don't forget appointments is that I have my parents and an iPod. I look at the iPod all the time at the calendar. Sometimes when in the car I don't remember being in the car and just stare off into space not realizing what I am doing. Sometimes the dreamlike state can last for hours. Luckily it doesn't happen everyday. I am not sure what stops it maybe anti anxiety pills? Mine just goes away but I do take anti anxiety pills so maybe that is what helps. Other times I am away from all my pills though. World peace is coming y'all. My brother is very annoying like always but I still love him. He makes fun of me because of my mental illness but technically he has mental illnesses as well. ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). Argues with everything and everyone in the world. Love him. I have a bird who is so cute that it feels like my head will get destroyed or blown up if I look at him. Aw. Next week is so cool that Game developers conference is coming up. But your case sounds like severe dissociation because of everything you described. 

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wow, interesting!  i've experienced this often in my life and never even knew it was a phenomena... i just assumed it was normal

 

i think to really be tuned in to your environment takes practice... maybe something like meditation would help this?  i've noticed that after about 8 months or so of meditating, i've noticed environments a lot more... mostly it has to do with colors and lighting, and how that impacts my comfort level, things that i didn't pick up on before... maybe meditation or yoga or a mindfulness practice will bring you into the moment so you see those things which are currently at play but you are not currently seeing?

 

i'm a far cry for being *aware*... but i'm also a far cry from being the space cadet i was :-)

Edited by eternalsun
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I can relate to all of your posts. I have some serious issues with this - although it is worth noting that I have dyspraxia which naturally makes me spatially... challenged. I have very poor motor skills/coordination, I have a very difficult time judging the distance and sizes of things and this leads to me chronically walking into things, breaking things, tripping, being unable to orient myself physically, and I have a lot of difficulties determining how much time has passed or what time "feels like." For example, I might think an hour has passed when it really has been twenty minutes or three hours. It's hard to figure out and I never know what day of the week it is, what month, sometimes I forget the year.

I do have major depression disorder and bad anxiety so these conditions really exacerbate the underlying cognitive issues. But it can be really difficult and sometimes I am so disoriented that I forget where I am and what I'm doing. I'll stop in a crowd of people walking because I'm thinking about something and not realize I have to keep walking. Like cfranco, electronics help me immensely. Seriously. Everything is synced and I get alerts at different set times of the day reminding me what time I have to leave the house at, that I only have thirty minutes to be on time, that I have an appointment tomorrow, etc. I get reminders on my computer, in my email, and on my phone. I use iCalendar and iProcrastinate and that helps a lot with organization issues. If all else fails, my mother or sister will most likely notice that I am home at times when I should not be or have missed too many appointments - which gets really irritating, but sometimes it can be helpful. The most important thing for me is to try my best to stay on top of my mental illnesses and not let them spiral out of control because its harder to "connect" with the world after long periods of being out of commission. I too experience depersonalization, derealization. Like I said, I'm quite sure that those conditions are caused by many, many years of having untreated refractory, recurrent major depression.

 

Your case of dissociation sounds really debilitating, so I hope something I've said can help you in some way. You should definitely talk to your doctor/therapist about this, though. 

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Thank you girls and guys for your replies. It helps me immensely that I'm not alone with this shit.

I realized that some of you only concentrate on the "practical" effects of this "phenomenon" like forgetting the time and hence forgetting an appointment instead of the shitiness of not feeling the time itself.
I think I have a huge problem with this because I had the bad luck, REALLY FUCKING BAD LUCK, to be free of this symptoms COMPLETELY the first time I was prescribed Risperdal. Until then, I knew something is wrong, but I didn't know what exactly, and then I KNEW. And then the Risperdal pooped out on me and no other antipsychotic, including clozapine, could reproduce the effect. So there I was, sane for 2 weeks, and left in the dark again. Like the lights went on and then off again.

And like a fucking junky off heroin, I'm doing everything to get back there. I'D DO ANYTHING.

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  • 2 weeks later...

that ebbs and flows for me when they're "stabilizing" me and i think that's why i kinda....i don't know.  i think the going back andforth has really fucked up what either side looks like, if you know what i mean.

 

it's not especially distressing at the moment because i been doing ect, but i know intellectulaly that if i could ground emotion in what i think about that happening, it would be an unpleasant and perhaps panicked and prolly like drowning and being aimless and unsettled all the time.

 

nothing fits

 

anyway, i think it's creating mood change in me maybe. ikinda blame clozaril for that, though. 

Edited by mellifluous
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