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Does this happen to you, that when you are getting more depressed, you mostly feel bitchy and irritated, more than sad?

 

every time I get overloaded by stress, these days, it seems like my main symptom is I turn into an a-hole. Just the last few weeks, things have gotten really sad IRL and on the other hand I have been very disturbed by some news stories which remind me of my past. I keep obsessing about the horrible news, and reading all the stories and the comments on the websites. While the things IRL make me worry about my loved ones. Like my mom's dog died and I wonder if my mom's next. And my friend's mom died and I wonder if she's next.

 

I felt really snappy at work today, and just had to bite my tongue to not tell people what to do. I screwed something up last night when I was working, and was kind of an a-hole about it, so now I think everybody hates me.

 

the other main symptom is I keep procrastinating about some bills -- there are complications, and rather than straighten it out and just get it done, I kind of do other things and let things sit and sit and sit.

 

I just start feeling like, oh, am I going to get worse, and does this mean another medicine tweak, blah blah blah. When what I wish would happen is life would stop having certain sucky elements. Why can't other people change, why does it have to be me? (I know that's not how it works, but sue me, I wish it did work that way)

 

I don't want to go back to counseling because they will start telling me, well then, you ought to do this, this and this, and I'll be like -- no! I can't.

 

anyhoo -- sorry I'm not providing more details. I hope this makes sense

 

 

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I'd suggest a lot of the time it's down to being "low on the reserves of what it takes to be civilized."  

and that can come from lack of sleep, depression, physical pain or illness, relationship issues, financial or other worries...

Anything that depletes or eats into our reserves of energy (loosely defined, but very real) for coping.

 

Being civilized (bottom line: the adaptations in behaviour required for the functioning of societies with cities) takes an effort, but often we do not notice that, and can just more-or-less enjoy the advantages of a lots-of-people-together society.  But if spare "effort" is low to non-existent for any of a broad range of reasons, then it's not so easy, and politeness can slip, anger and irritability start to show.

(and our own annoyance at ourselves for being like that, and making our our own work, relationship etc. the more difficult starts to add to the whole load.)

 

This pattern doesn't answer for everything, but it covers quite a lot.

Answers?   Being cognitively aware of what's happening helps, but the main thing in the short term is load-shedding.  

 

But anyone saying "Try to cultivate a more relaxed lifestyle" probably deserves throttling even if they are perfectly correct.  

Shedding activities and stressors, and getting more rest  (Jason Bourne: "sleep is a weapon".) is itself a demanding activity, just when one more isn't needed.

 

Just my take, Chris.

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well, Chris, that makes sense because also lately I've been in a fair amount of pain from my chronic illness and my sleep schedule is all out of whack from having to get up early for doctor's appointments, a weekend fun event, etc.

 

yeah, I wish I could shed some loads, but since I am a caretaker/caregiver for two people, it's not so easy.

 

anyway, thanks.

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I'd suggest a lot of the time it's down to being "low on the reserves of what it takes to be civilized."  

and that can come from lack of sleep, depression, physical pain or illness, relationship issues, financial or other worries...

Anything that depletes or eats into our reserves of energy (loosely defined, but very real) for coping.

 

Being civilized (bottom line: the adaptations in behaviour required for the functioning of societies with cities) takes an effort, but often we do not notice that, and can just more-or-less enjoy the advantages of a lots-of-people-together society.  But if spare "effort" is low to non-existent for any of a broad range of reasons, then it's not so easy, and politeness can slip, anger and irritability start to show.

(and our own annoyance at ourselves for being like that, and making our our own work, relationship etc. the more difficult starts to add to the whole load.)

 

This pattern doesn't answer for everything, but it covers quite a lot.

Answers?   Being cognitively aware of what's happening helps, but the main thing in the short term is load-shedding.  

 

But anyone saying "Try to cultivate a more relaxed lifestyle" probably deserves throttling even if they are perfectly correct.  

Shedding activities and stressors, and getting more rest  (Jason Bourne: "sleep is a weapon".) is itself a demanding activity, just when one more isn't needed.

 

Just my take, Chris.

That was awesome!! That's sooo it!!!

I too get irritable/bitchy when I'm depressed.  I can be totally zonked out zombie-like, or just seethingly angry...it's all depression, just manifested in different ways. 

 

CBT helps as does anything that makes you mindful of your feelings and emotions...meditation and meditation music is great for helping sooth those angry feelings.  I know some people who paint or do artsy stuff...I'm not very artsy anymore, so I prefer to just be still and breathe and let the feelings come and move through. It's hard though when you have to work--There are days, like you were saying, where you just want to rip peoples faces right off!lol  I try to bite my tongue too and not say anything... That's why I like being alone...Go home, get the husband out of my hair and off to work, and I can sit and just de-stress...play music, eat bad things, pet the dog...whatever it takes to move that anger through so I can go back to being centered.

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Unless I'm really depressed (unable to stop crying/get out of bed) this is how I am too. I am very mean and irritable. It sucks, because you push everyone away after awhile. Then the depression lifts, and it's like, where did everyone go? I would suggest apologizing and explaining that its a symptom to family or whoever you are closest too.

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yeah, my mother lives in her own apartment but I try to check on her several times a week to make sure she is OK. And I run various errands for her. My SO works but is MI and when she gets home is usually just trying to chill out. So at the present time it's not like I'm changing diapers or anything but it's like I am always trying to keep up with those two and what they're up to. My doctor has me on Zoloft -- usually it's good enough.

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