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Do SUCCESSFUL people make you feel worse or better?


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I say do what makes you happy. Successful doesn't always equal happy with your life. Success is measured differently by everyone. I think working at an aquarium might be fun, I love fish. You don't have to give up on art. You may at some point get back into it.

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First of all, you are not stupid for applying for the job at the aquarium.  You are getting out and doing something that you enjoy.  If you had a paid job, you might not be happy with it.  At least now you have something to look forward to doing something during the day.  I also studied something that I never went into after college.  Went to school to be a dietitian, became a nanny for a little while before my life and MI took over.  It made me happier than being a dietitian.

 

I read the link, and to be honest it didn't phase me one way or another.  I mean, yeah, 'good for her,' but I've read/heard other similar various stories throughout my life so it isn't a new thing to me to hear about.

 

I guess it would be interesting to know how she treats other people, her compassion, etc.  It sounds like she is a really nice person, and probably is.  But I don't know her, so there is a chance she could be a jerk. 

 

Maybe this is just my mood right now that is affecting my opinion, but that is how I see it all.

Edited by melissaw72
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Other people's successes don't really phase me. Like her I was homeless for my childhood and a teacher from my middle school mentored me and got me a full ride to an amazing private high school in San Francisco where there is a 100% rate to college, and I am a first generation student. 

 

I know that I am gifted and talented in the arts and sciences and have a lot to offer the world, but that still doesn't mean anything to me when my voices torment me or when I am suicidal or extremely depressed. Sometimes all I can think about is how long I have been suffering in comparison to how long I have been suffering, and how I don't see much difference.

 

I am finally getting my first paid job, but its only for the month of April. Its clerical work as I have nothing really on my resume but volunteer work, and most of it is irrelevant for my job. But I say that you go for the aquarium. I adore the atmosphere. The animals are so inspiring and so are the colors, sounds, textures--its really great there. Volunteer opportunities are good because they help you decide what you really would like to do, and they for sure give you structure. 

 

I wish you the best of luck.

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I'm not sure I've ever been to an aquarium. I'd think it would be very soothing and relaxing though. So it would be good to volunteer.

 

I wanted to jump right in at first and say, oh no, successful people don't make me feel bad. But I know I used to get obsessed with this woman at work who is a good pianist and has won all kinds of awards in her job and is very well liked by people. Meanwhile, I've really only succeeded at being an underachiever ... heh heh... Outside of work, I would talk to my SO about this lady like I hated her. My SO, who is not one to tell me to shut up, told me one night to please stop talking about her like that. I guess I was just jealous of the lady. Sometimes at work I would be very critical of her (behind her back), but after she once again won a rather important award, I decided to just shut the hell up. As in, far be it for me to say anything since I don't win anything and she does. And finally, after a few years I'm glad I have shut up about her. I'm sure I sounded like an asshole however many times I whined about her work. Ha!

 

Well, you know what they say. "no one can make you feel bad without your consent." Or whatever the saying is...

Edited by GonnaLaugh
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When success goes hand in hand with beauty, intelligence and a bright personality that's what gets me. But I try to focus on the fact that everyone has their own burdens to bear. And if they don't I just feel sorry for them for being so boring.

I think applying a daily routine to your day is a great start! A paid job could be on your long term work goals. I think gaining work experience at an aquarium would be a colourful relaxing way to spend your day.

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When I needed some help making commitments to get out of the house, I had a WONDERFUL time volunteering at the aquarium. I'm a social worker by training, and knew not very much when I started, except that I really enjoyed being at the aquarium. It's cool to get to see all the behind the scenes stuff, too.

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good for you about the aquarium!  :)

 

to answer your initial question - i feel worse.  if that makes me petty or jealous, well then i'm guilty.  successful people make me feel worse about my own failures.  i know the stories of others triumphs should be inspiring to me, but they aren't.  i guess that's a function of depressed logic.  i don't see myself as someone who will become "successful".  i've modified my own definition of success, and that's staying med compliant, going to therapy, getting out of bed every day, and staying alive.  in other words i've lowered the bar so i can't feel like a failure.  not the greatest strategy for self-improvement.

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I think volunteering at the aquarium will be wonderful.  I commend you on trying to create some structure in your life.

 

When I'm really depressed, I do get jealous of other people's success and I beat myself up with it.  I look at others that can hold a job and feel "less".  When I'm feeling ok, I wish I could hold a job, but the jealousy isn't there.

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happy people piss me off.  I can't even be around them.  Hoping this all changes when the meds work.  shit, i am not around anyone right now...my husband and animals I am cool with them.  i like this forum a lot.  until i am happy, if that is even in the realm of possibility, I am jealous of happy people too, why can't I have their brain instead of my fucked up brain. It is like they speak a different language or they are a different culture.  It is that foreign to me.  I know this thread was about successful people..without happiness, there is no success.  so I can't relate to that either.

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Volunteer work is awesome!!!! You're sooo on the right path there! I've had many people who I consider to be 'successful' tell me that doing volunteer work is good for your well-being...it can even lead to a new career that you might not have even considered!

 

I think successful people make me irritated depending....People who 'have it all' but got it without hard work bug me...People who have success for stupid things (like those Kardashian chicks) get on my nerves too.  Successful people who worked hard and are successful at something I consider valid though, I don't resent.  Does that make sense? I don't consider beingin home-porn produced by your mom to be a valid success(Kim Kardashian I'm talking to you!lol)

 

I'm trying though to *not* judge people or be resentful of what they have because they are living a lifestyle I didn't choose.  Somewhere in my life, I made a choice--conscious or otherwise--to not be obsessed with material things...and I sure have done well *not* getting them;) lol  Seriously, I am happier having the opportunity to connect with people like you guys, and taking care of my dog and working with some nice people, than sitting in a 15-million dollar mansion counting my Jimmy Choos. I guess I'm trying to say that we find fulfillment in things we each value--so if Kim Kardashian finds happiness in houses, cars, travel, clothes and jewels than super for her! I shouldn't be resentful because I know that I wouldn't be feeling fulfilled by that stuff...but you know how it is, we always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence....

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"and going on the internet for the remaining day and letting the internet influence my mind."

 

Idk what I'd do without the internet; my only "socialization" (with exception of one person taking me out for errands) is here at CB and 2 other sites I am on daily.

 

 

If successful people "show-off" about all they have done/accomplished/etc, then I get kind of pissed. And if anyone, successful or not, complains about things that they don't even try to do/have themselves, I don't like that either.  At least try before you complain.  I try not judge otherwise.

 

And I always keep in mind that a lot of successful people in life aren't happy despite having everything they do/have in life.  Being successful doesnt always equate with happiness.

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I'm sorry your friend said that to you, No_Name. What an awful thing to say to someone you supposedly care about.

I love that you're volunteering at your local aquarium! I really do. :) It reminds me of my grandfather, who had a strong work ethic until the day he became too sick to work--not because he earned a lot of money (which he didn't), but because it felt good to be productive. His whole life, he had very little and wanted very little and spent most of his time in nature, carving his own fishing poles and catching his own food and building his own house. I think he was quite successful because he knew what he wanted in life--peace and quiet and the outdoors--and he was happy with that.

So, in that way, successful people make me feel hopeful and happy. I know the things I enjoy in life and, fortunately for me, they're relatively easily acquired. Still, I can get depressed and look at some of the great things other people accomplish--Ivy League educations; amazing, well-paying jobs; recognition; discovery; art--and I think to myself, "I can't do any of that, I must be a total failure at life and what a waste of space I am." It can trigger me badly to be depressed and then hear someone boast about something really awesome. While I'm glad for them (unless they're using it to be a jackass and belittle other people), I also have a tendency to compare myself even though I know I shouldn't, and I always seem to come up on the short end of the stick. 

I'm working on it, though. Not on being "successful," but on recognizing and being grateful for the successes that already belong to me.

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Its a mixed bag for me. I'm suposed to graduate in may and i'm not. So part of me sees it as "FAILIURE!" becuse I am takeing extra time. But the other part of me sees it as a good self care move, 9 graduate credits keeps you busey. But likewise so does an IP stay when you miss a class load that makes up 13 credits and you lose the job you love.  But i'm graduating in December so an 84 credit deggre in 3.5 years is not bad at all.

 

Sucess is hard to mesure based on other pepple. Not that I dont get jelous but say, hey you know what crap hapened to me too, and i'm still here. I'm still doing something, that to me is sucess.

 

Also my freind voulentered at an aquarium and she now works there. Fish to me are art, the way the move, the colors, the schools. I like fish I wish there was an aquarium closer that I could go sit at and watch the fish when i'm stressed. My freinds aquarium has a shark tank, they are fun to watch as they just go back and forth with HUGE sting rays. So I say for for that, it sounds to me like it will help to lift you a bit.

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Congrats on choosing to volunteer at the aquarium. I know 2 people who did it for fun (well, isn't that kind of what its supposed to be?) and really enjoyed it.

 

When it comes to success I seem to divide it in half. There is a guy I went to HS with who had a wonderful job and it was pulled out from under him. He was married with children. He did some research and started his own company and is now all over the place and happy and extrememly successful. Do I envy him? No. not one bit.

 

The other half is a friend who has a PhD and has a job in her field. She is engaged to Dr.House (albeit nicer and younger). And everything is painted perfect. But its not. I know the holes and I know the struggles. Despite knowing all of this her success makes me feel like an ant. She would never treat me that way...but that's how I feel.

 

db

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