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Hello all,

 

I am back after a few months away. Unfortunately, I experienced an absolutely terrible Christmas period and had another severe nervous breakdown. This all occurred after switching from citalopram to clomipramine. On the clomipramine, I had a nasty reaction and it made my OCD and depression a billion times worse; I wanted to be sectioned because of it. Thankfully, a combination of sertraline and mirtazapine has done an excellent job of lifting me out of that hideous pit of pure despair. I have been on the sertraline for 3 months, and it has been very good so far.

 

I was wondering if any of you experience the same thing as me. There are periods where I feel completely non-depressed as though I have achieved full remission. However, I still have periods within a month, for several says, where I feel horrible in terms of melancholic depression symptoms (psychomotor retardation, suicidal, intense anhedonia). I do not believe I have bipolar disorder, so I was wondering if any of you guys without bipolar disorder have these sort of "black" periods?

 

Cheers.

Edited by Monoamine
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Sorry you've been having some rough times.

 

My dx was changed from MDD to BP II a few years ago, and a mood stablilizer (Lamictal) has made a huge difference in my life.  I have never had mania or hypomania, but as the pdoc noted, there is clearly some sort of cycle going on, since I have had several depresive episodes.

 

It might be worth asking your pdoc about a mood stabilizer, if you keep going down and coming back up, only to cycle down again.  There are also other meds that are helpful for rapid cyclers, although I can't name any off the top of my head.  I hope you feel better.

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i seem to get cycles too, but i haven't been able to see a stable pattern. some days i feel almost normal, then mildly depressed for weeks, then severely depressed, then it all changes again.. if that's what you mean. unfortunately i am at my worst at the moment, but i am trying to remember it won't last forever. maybe mood tracking to see a pattern, then putting a plan in place for the worst times would help?

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Mine comes and goes as well. I have BP and even with meds nothing completely ”cures” it 100%. From what my pdoc told me, meds are to lengthen the periods between depression and help make then less severe. I'm pretty sure I'll have periods of depression for the rest of my life as sucky as that is.

I'm fairly depressed right now. I think it's mainly situational, so I'm trying to change my situation if I can (work related).

And don't rule out BP, it's a spectrum illness. Hypomania can be very very hard to detect in some ppl.

I actually think most ppl with depression really have BP, that's why anti depressants alone for a lot of ppl just don't work (we've all seen or heard of those studies). Of course this is just my thoughts and I could be totally wrong.

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My depression comes in cycles too and no I haven't been diagnosed as BP.  I used to have longer periods of 'happy' with shorter periods of depression, but its changed over the last 4 years or so to where it's mostly depression and shorter periods of 'happy'--which is now mostly just 'eh, ok'...

 

I find mine is seasonal too...like I'm more depressed in winter. In spring, I'm still depressed but I have more energy to do something about it...like, to exercise or get out more or something...

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