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For those of you who don't know me: I am a cisgender female; old enough to know better but young enough not to give a fuck (though I've been over 18 for longer than I care to remember); monogamous bisexual unicorn (typically biromantic and demi-homosexual; much to my sometimes dismay).

 

I consider myself: Owner of two beagles; tragically awesome; curly haired; apatheist / aspiring Buddhist; left of left politically; abuse & sexual assault survivor; generally fine with my body and confident in my sexuality; a lover, not a fighter; living life to the fullest despite, in spite, and because of chronic mental illness.

 

Feminist; fan; geek; Latina; chronically frustrated writer; pedantic grammatician & absurdly good speller, even when drunk; Slytherin or possibly Ravenclaw; inevitably represented by the Empress in all my tarot readings; enthralled by music; and too passionate for my own good.

 

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I came to CB before the continents shifted and I'll likely be here after the Internet becomes something we can plug into our brains.

 

I was diagnosed with major depressive depression at 16, then PTSD from a catastrophic house fire 2 years later. The diagnosis on my paperwork now is MDD, atypical, refractory, recurrent, last episode severe. Anxiety disorder NOS. Cluster B traits.

 

My psychiatrist went into more depth with me on a non-paperwork level so that I would stop worrying that I might be secretly bipolar, and those are the dx in my signature. You can also find my current meds there. Past meds in my profile. I've only had one psychiatrist for the last seven years; when I was 18-20 I had a few others but that was where I used to live which is now quite a ways away.

 

I have a history of childhood physical/emotional abuse from a blood relative who I now call Voldemort, and as an adult I've survived sexual assault and various incredibly shitty romantic partners who would maybe qualify as abusive in their own right but my barometer is pretty off.

 

I have had 3 good therapists and one bad one, as well as participating in 4 group therapies. First 2 therapists (5 years) were both heavy textbook CBT, bad therapist was individual DBT, third good therapist (also current therapist!) is into Internal Family Systems. Group therapies were all time-limited and in order, I've done group DBT (STEPPS), ACT, mind-body relations, and group DBT again (concurrently with individual DBT). I also have a social worker who comes to my house and helps me with activities of daily living (like being able to leave the house, for example) and trouble-shooting (mostly relationships).

 

I've been involuntarily hospitalized twice and voluntarily once. Went to outpatient hospitalization once. More police "wellness checks" than you can shake a stick at. Number of suicide attempts is unknown because it was happening so often for a few years that I actually lost track.

 

I'm on SSDI for mental illness as of 2010.

 

I have recurrent mood episodes but overall I'm doing pretty well and am no longer suicidal, even at my worst. In terms of physical crap, I deal with constant fatigue and migraines. I also have PCOS, psoriasis, and an incredibly unreliable ability to sleep (I can sleep for 24+ hrs and yet also have recurrent insomnia? wtf).

 

My main boards are Personality Disorders, PTSD, Alternatives, & Lawyers/Guns/$$. I also hang around quite a few other ones, mostly related to the stuff I've mentioned above.

 

When I'm not on the boards themselves, I'm probably playing computer games, having conversations with multiple people over IM, hanging out in chat, or occasionally I sometimes even leave the computer. :cool2: When I do, I like to read, have chai in expensive coffee shops, or cuddle. :blush:

Edited by saveyoursanity
I knew I forgot something!

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