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I just need to write something so anyone can "listen" to me.


I wake up at 15pm and fall asleep late. In the morning I think "why should I get up earlier if I have nothing to do all day". And this gets me to the thing where I have nothing to do all day and no one to talk to. Sometimes I get very angry at my current situations and at all the other people I know or used to know because I'm alone. It hurts so much.


I try to do things for myself. I try to study and regain the wit I used to have before the illness. I current and the end of a book on HTML5 and Javascript so that I can learn new things. But I feel my head is so tired that I can't study no more. And if I stop studying for a couple a days I'm afraid I'll stop it forever.


My mood is flat. I can't get a job. I don't have friends or girlfriend. It's a nightmare.

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Hi Cinder. Nice to meet you.


I know how it feels to have no reason to get out of bed in the morning-no job to go to, no volunteer work etc.- and it sucks. It sucks for everything to feel flat and dull.


I don't really have any advice either, unless you think maybe your meds are making you lethargic and having them reviewed and changed might help. Also, try to get out of the house for a walk every day. That actually does help.

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To be honest I feel pretty similar to this right now. My motivation is non existent and things are really getting me down. I feel little want to get out of bed some days. For me a lot of it is situational (but the motivation issues have been going on for longer), but even then it still sucks.


I wish I knew some answers. Sorry I can't be of much help to you, but I do empathise.


But I do like the suggestion about going for a walk. A lot of the time I can find myself not wanting to go out because it is too much effort, but I do feel better after I have gone for a walk and my pain isn't bothering me as much plus the fact I have had some fresh air. So that is definitely something I have tried to fit into every day, or at least most days. Even if it doesn't touch the motivation issues I do feel a little better mood wise from being outdoors.

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Hi cinder. I can really relate to your post too. I don't have much going on in my life either. I miss the fun times I used to have with people I thought were my friends.

Now I'm alone and feel abandoned because I changed my lifestyle since getting in treatment for MI. I don't look forward to much of anything besides spending time alone. I guess it's some kind of cycle.

I'm afraid I've lost what atrracted people to me through taking my meds. I fear I've lost my creativity too.

Please know that you're not alone. I go into chat alot here just to feel connected to anyone. I have a slight shred of hope that things will get better.

I'm currently waiting for disability and not working so my days loom with nothingness. I try to maintain my spiritual practice to keep myself together.

I'm sorry things are a nightmare for you. Are you on meds? My life was a different kind of nightmare before I went on meds.

dx: schizotypal personality disorder, bipolar NOS, GAD, c-ptsd

meds: risperdal 3mg, lamictal 100mg, klonopin 2mg PRN

Edited by puddle of fire
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I just want to thank all the replys.

Thank you.



Hi cinder. I can really relate to your post too. I don't have much going on in my life either. I miss the fun times I used to have with people I thought were my friends.


I also miss the time I had with the people I thought were my friends, because at that time I felt well. So now, I don't have any friends.


I miss having fun and someone to talk to.


Even in the chatroom I don't know what to say. I feel missplaced.


I'm currently on the medication on my signature although my past days have been a misery. I wonder if not taking the 25mg of seroquel at nightime is doing this?

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Welcome cinder.  Please join us in the chatroom if you can, after a while it may feel less "funny".  There are plenty of people who come in and just listen?  Watch? Get the lay of the land for awhile.  No one will think it's weird.

I'm sorry about losing your friends at this time, that blows.

We are here for you.  I hope things improve.


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Going for a walk is good advice.

Another thing you can do is write a blog. It doesn't have to be wordy; my blog is just my artwork. Those javascript lessons will come in handy, if you put them to some real world use, like designing your blog. I wrote some jquery on my blog, so it has scrolling pagination and a lightbox with next and previous image buttons. Nobody really ever comes to my blog, but it keeps me busy so it keeps me happy.

I find I'm very depressed and lack creativity/motivation some times, but I find ideas when I go for walks. Today, just up a few blocks, I saw a little girl heaving a heavy leaf blower around, and it struck me as cute, so when I got back to my console, I made a graphic of a little girl with an oversized leaf blower, titled "Dad's job."

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@him I do have a blog. It has random stuff and some of my art. I designed it too, but it's in portuguese.


AnneMarie I think seroquel might have effect in mood swings, but it's such a low dose that I cut off that I didn't think it would make any difference. And because it was for me to get some sleep and not to control anything else, I gave it a try and stoped. Now, about 5 minutes ago I had a fight with my father, I was pretty harsh with my words but he implicates with me when I kidding with my mother. I used some bad language.


I have to talk this with my therapist on wednesday. I try to get along with my father but there is always something that messes it up. I hate him for that. 

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