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Still working on trying to figure out who I am instead of feeling like a character in some random movie that no one sees or hears bc it plays in my head... I'm married to a psych major who states that I am anything but your typical bipolar. I've been in control of pretty much everything I do, say, and how I act since I was toddler. When I was in school it was almost as if I had a secret identity. I was a totally different person there. Then when I'd get home from school, the costume came off. That 'ability' stuck with me until graduation, through the military and until recently I was able to keep myself from losing control. Needless to say, I have no idea who I really am.  I struggle with just getting out of bed. On a good day that is usually around 11. A bad day is closer to 1-2pm. What I assumed was everyday, normal worries turned out to be intrusive thoughts. who knew right?? I am currently on Lamictal and struggling with maintaining that control I lost back in November. 

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Do you have an actual diagnosis for some form of bipolar?

 

I think your doctor would know more than your SO, the psyche major.

From what I am reading you are struggling with depression - the staying in bed until the afternoon.

And intrusive thoughts are aspects of many mental illness.

 

What about trauma or PTSD from your military service?

 

welcome to CB, check out our blogs, we are a supportive group

Edited by bpladybug
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Welcome! There are lots of people here with similar challenges to the ones you face.  So one place you will fit in is right here!

 

Just curious... has a psychiatrist ("p-doc") or therapist ("t-doc") confirmed the diagnosis?   Actually (in my opinion) a diagnosis matters less than some folks think it does...the important thing is treating the symptoms.     Anyway, just throwing my two cents in for what it's worth (about two cents).  

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Welcome! This truly is a great place with good people.

I would like to second bpladybug, Your husband is not a Pdoc or tdoc, He has no ability to diagnosis. I was a psych major in college. They teach you just enough to be dangerous if you don't be careful. My DH is in his master's program to become an LMFT. I made it absolutely crystal clear that I don't give a shit what knowledge he has or how much experience he gets. He is not allowed to diagnose me. Ever. You need to rely on your medical team.

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Still working on trying to figure out who I am instead of feeling like a character in some random movie that no one sees or hears bc it plays in my head... I'm married to a psych major who states that I am anything but your typical bipolar. I've been in control of pretty much everything I do, say, and how I act since I was toddler. When I was in school it was almost as if I had a secret identity. I was a totally different person there. Then when I'd get home from school, the costume came off. That 'ability' stuck with me until graduation, through the military and until recently I was able to keep myself from losing control. Needless to say, I have no idea who I really am.  I struggle with just getting out of bed. On a good day that is usually around 11. A bad day is closer to 1-2pm. What I assumed was everyday, normal worries turned out to be intrusive thoughts. who knew right?? I am currently on Lamictal and struggling with maintaining that control I lost back in November. 

 

 

Hello and I hope you feel like you have a home here. You will always have a friend somewhere in chat blog or forums.

See you around! 

 

 

Do you have an actual diagnosis for some form of bipolar?

 

I think your doctor would know more than your SO, the psyche major.

From what I am reading you are struggling with depression - the staying in bed until the afternoon.

And intrusive thoughts are aspects of many mental illness.

 

What about trauma or PTSD from your military service?

 

welcome to CB, check out our blogs, we are a supportive group

 

 

Welcome! There are lots of people here with similar challenges to the ones you face.  So one place you will fit in is right here!

 

Just curious... has a psychiatrist ("p-doc") or therapist ("t-doc") confirmed the diagnosis?   Actually (in my opinion) a diagnosis matters less than some folks think it does...the important thing is treating the symptoms.     Anyway, just throwing my two cents in for what it's worth (about two cents).  

 

 

Welcome! This truly is a great place with good people.

I would like to second bpladybug, Your husband is not a Pdoc or tdoc, He has no ability to diagnosis. I was a psych major in college. They teach you just enough to be dangerous if you don't be careful. My DH is in his master's program to become an LMFT. I made it absolutely crystal clear that I don't give a shit what knowledge he has or how much experience he gets. He is not allowed to diagnose me. Ever. You need to rely on your medical team.

 

 

Hello and Welcome to CB!  Be sure to take a moment to read the User Agreement.

 

I wish you well in your journey to figuring out who you are and how this illness affects you.

 

I also think its a good idea to get a dx from a pyschiatrist.

 

I did see these posts, I'd I will reply, just don't have time to do a lot right now.  <3

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Do you have an actual diagnosis for some form of bipolar?

 

I think your doctor would know more than your SO, the psyche major.

From what I am reading you are struggling with depression - the staying in bed until the afternoon.

And intrusive thoughts are aspects of many mental illness.

 

What about trauma or PTSD from your military service?

 

welcome to CB, check out our blogs, we are a supportive group

had a good paragraph or more going and it switched pages on me.. 

no actual diagnosis, even for bipolar.

my SO is actually very smart. He knows that I am more than likely bipolar, just not your typical textbook bipolar. I've been able to hid so much from everyone, including him and my kids, that I even lost track of who I am. When I tell my parents something they always say, 'I didn't know that. Why didn't you say something?'

I slept late even as a toddler so sleeping late is somewhat normal, as well as the intrusive thoughts. I just assumed everyone had them and that they were more of a paranoia, like different endings to the same situation. 

Because of my past, Trauma is highly possible along with the PTSD (unrelated to military)

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Welcome! There are lots of people here with similar challenges to the ones you face.  So one place you will fit in is right here!

 

Just curious... has a psychiatrist ("p-doc") or therapist ("t-doc") confirmed the diagnosis?   Actually (in my opinion) a diagnosis matters less than some folks think it does...the important thing is treating the symptoms.     Anyway, just throwing my two cents in for what it's worth (about two cents).  

I'm really excited to find some insight to this illness. I was seeing a NP t-doc. She asked ?'s and helped me put into words what I was feeling, but what ever 'treatment or meds' I mentioned doing or trying she just sort of agreed.  before my meltdown in October, I was/had been on antidepressants to treat the anxiety, nightmares, night sweats, fears, emotions, and depression. I was never on a 'regular' dose. Always stayed lower. Started on Lamictal in December and its helped quite a bit. I am starting to feel like me again, at least what I think is me.. 

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Welcome! This truly is a great place with good people.

I would like to second bpladybug, Your husband is not a Pdoc or tdoc, He has no ability to diagnosis. I was a psych major in college. They teach you just enough to be dangerous if you don't be careful. My DH is in his master's program to become an LMFT. I made it absolutely crystal clear that I don't give a shit what knowledge he has or how much experience he gets. He is not allowed to diagnose me. Ever. You need to rely on your medical team.

You are right he is not any sort of doc or is he able to diagnose. He has even said that numerous times. He is the one that encouraged me to see a p-doc. I was doing the one thing we all know we are not suppose to. I was looking through his desk reference of mental illness diagnosis. I came to Dissociative Personality Disorder as a basepoint, which obviously he didn't believe until I started to tell him those 'secret things in my head'. Then he thought possible bipolar. my DH has a hard time talking to me about it bc he doesn't want to diagnose me or place me in a 'category'..

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Welcome! This truly is a great place with good people.

I would like to second bpladybug, Your husband is not a Pdoc or tdoc, He has no ability to diagnosis. I was a psych major in college. They teach you just enough to be dangerous if you don't be careful. My DH is in his master's program to become an LMFT. I made it absolutely crystal clear that I don't give a shit what knowledge he has or how much experience he gets. He is not allowed to diagnose me. Ever. You need to rely on your medical team.

You are right he is not any sort of doc or is he able to diagnose. He has even said that numerous times. He is the one that encouraged me to see a p-doc. I was doing the one thing we all know we are not suppose to. I was looking through his desk reference of mental illness diagnosis. I came to Dissociative Personality Disorder as a basepoint, which obviously he didn't believe until I started to tell him those 'secret things in my head'. Then he thought possible bipolar. my DH has a hard time talking to me about it bc he doesn't want to diagnose me or place me in a 'category'..

Glad to hear it! 

 

So now you have to do the responsible thing -- put down the DSM, don't refer to Dr. Google, and go see a pdoc.  It sounds like you are in distress.  Ultimately, the diagnosis really doesn't matter.  What matters is that you get help for your symptoms.

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not sure if I'm replying to this the right way..  am I suppose to use the reply to topic or quote to reply? guess y'all just have to figure out what I'm doing bc I sure as hell don't. Now to back track a little, I try to keep any attention whether it be positive or negative away from me. I don't like to be noticed or to have ppl fuss over me. I will not ask for help or let them know I need help. So for me just admitting that I'm having a difficult time is unreal for me.  My DH does give me a hard time about some things, but now that we have a better idea of what is going on, he is extremely supportive and does the best he can. I still don't know if what I feel is normal or if I do have a form of mental illness but I do know that I need help. 

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