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Hi there,

I'm new to this website and I just had a relapse for the first time in a month. I have a bit of a story to go with it, so bear with me for a few lines?

I went to a mental hospital for ten days at the beginning of March, and when I got out, they put me on Prozac and right into counselling. Well, I figured out in my session yesterday that I had been sexually abused not once, but twice in my childhood by two different parties.

Needless to say, I have been dwelling on it and I'm very, very affected by this. I haven't cut since I went into the hospital (having gone there with cuts that could have warranted stitches), but I relapsed tonight just thinking about what I had figured out yesterday. I've been a compulsive cutter for three years, and hardly ever stopped.

I just... I really need some help. What do I do? How do I deal with a relapse? How do I make sure I can stop myself this time, or the next time it happens? I've hardly ever gone more than a couple weeks without self-harm in some fashion, as far as I can truly remember. I don't know how to stop myself without going back to the hospital.

I would really like some help. I would be very relieved to receive some.

Thank you.

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Hey - 


Do you have the option of phoning your therapist for help in between sessions?  Or asking to have an extra session or a session moved up if you are in crisis?  I have done that in the past.


It can be important to work with your therapist to make a coping plan with a list of what to do in these situations.

Have you checked out the lists of alternatives to self-harm that are in this forum?  They have a lot of really good suggestions.  Hang in there.

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Yes, I do. I just don't want to disturb my parents from their sleep to get the number and whatnot. I am thinking about calling her tomorrow and telling her what happened, but I'm scared of going back to the hospital. I actually have a coping plan from the hospital, and it deals with preventative measures when I get the urges. I just... Felt so triggered and disgusting and empty that I felt like I had to cut again. I had a really hard time putting those coping skills to use, and now I feel like I'll never stop, once again.

I'll take a look at that list. Thank you very much.

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I think calling is a really good idea - most therapists will let you stay out of the hospital if you are willing to keep yourself safe.


I'm sorry it feels so impossible to stop again.  I wish I could say more to help.  I know that feeling though - it's really hard to resist.  But you made it a month, and you have it in you to do it again, and more.

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first off, don't give yourself a hard time for relapsing, all SI'ers do it, and i'm not saying it's ok to relapse, just that is a part of the healing process.


it helps a lot to think "well, if i stopped SI'ing for a month, i can do it again!", it's hard to cope with the urge, but you will learn with the counseling the strategies that help you the best to stop SI'ing.


try to talk to your counsellor asap, and in the meantime, stay safe and try to be gentle to yourself.


i'm sorry i don't have much else to say, i just wanted to let you know i'm reading you and i hope you start feeling better soon.

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