Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Not sure if I'm heading into/am in hypomania or what


Recommended Posts

So I've been posting on this site regularly for a little over a month I think. Before then, I didn't really write about my state of mind/how I was feeling into too much detail consistently for that much time.

It's helped me to be able to look back on what I've written even a couple of weeks ago about myself, but at the same time I feel kind of disturbed because I can already relate to very little of what I have written... I was getting pretty depressed and a bit suicidal for awhile, but  since late March-the beginning of this month, I don't feel any conscious trace of that state of mind at all. I feel great and highly optimistic about my future. I have been getting more into my hobbies, and I require less sleep to feel nice and rested (though I still can sleep a lot if my sleep isn't interrupted; if I wake up in the middle of the night I'm fine just staying awake until I have to go to bed that next night, sometimes 20 hours later.) My thoughts have always raced to some degree as long as I can remember, but I feel like the content of them is different; I have many strange thoughts/realizations that I hadn't ever had before.

I know the symptoms of hypomania, but I'm not sure at what point it's worth taking it up with my pdoc. I had my lithium levels tested a little over a week ago and my pdoc said they were great, no need to bump up my lithium dosage now. I feel no traces of the depression that's been lingering pretty consistently for over a year; I've been hypomanic before, but in a mixed state. Do you think it could be something to do with spring? I'm 17 and this is my first spring after my first serious bipolar episode. Where I am the weather has been getting warmer and there are less rainy, cold days. 

The irritability has also increased; like right now, currently irritated. I go through phases where nothing really affects me to the point of being irritated, but it seems like a lot of things have recently. Then it just leaves me as suddenly as it comes.

My thoughts just jump and jump; generally it's pleasant and entertaining, but it can be a bit annoying when I'm trying to concentrate on something important. 

Sorry if that's a lot of information; I'm still "new" to experiencing these bipolar things so it's hard for me to know when I should seek help for what I'm experiencing. I don't know if I worry over stupid things seeing as I'm generally a pretty anxious person or if it's genuinely something to be concerned about. I'm fairly certain that I'm entering some pure hypomania but I don't know if I need to tell doctors yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't worry, many of us who've been diagnosed with BP for years still have lack of insight to our own illness. What matters is if you think there is a change in your mood and perceptions enough to notice any difference at all, that you may need a slight med tweak. I am 33 and have been officially diagnosed at age 26, although recently a psychoanalysis of me suggested I was bipolar as a child and it went undiagnosed. And i still don't have the hang of it. I am always wondering "wow life is great and I am happy... is that bad? or am I just stable and my outlook is good?" Sometimes it is hard to tell..

 

And the only way to know for sure is to have a candid and detailed discussion with your pdoc.

 

I've found the best way to know for sure what mood I am in, is to ask my girlfriend who lives with me. She knows better than anyone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There were a couple of things that jumped out at me suggesting possible hypomania:  increased irritability and your thoughts jumping.  However, I don't know what your "normal" looks like so its very hard to say if you're experiencing hypomania or not.

 

I think it would be a good idea to print this post out and take it to your pdoc, like 2spirals suggested, and have a conversation with him/her about it.  They will have a better idea if your irritability and thought jumping fall into the realm of hypomania.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talk it over with your pdoc. You have a few signs that might be indications. Better to nip it early than wait. Better to bring up a false alarm than to say nothing. Spring affects some, not so much others. Until you know it affects you, it's not an automatic flag. That said, you do have a few possible flags - thoughts jumping, okay with less sleep, irritability increase. Could be normal, could be something. The thing is, you are questioning, so question with your doctor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies everyone... I just went last night without sleep; that was a significant early sign for me last time that I didn't recognise, so I think I'll bring it up with my parents. They knew I didn't sleep last night so maybe they're already thinking something about it so it'll be easier to bring up. I'm just glad I'm not depressed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I'm uncertain, especially so, I bring up symptoms with my pdoc.  In the past she has told me when she thought it was more of a normal mood shift and not to worry about it.  And also when she thought I had better get my butt into IP treatment ASAP.

 

It'll get easier over time to pick up on it yourself, or at least that's my personal theory hope, so yeah, haha.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I told my mum about it; she said she's going to call. If the doctor thinks it's anything to worry about, I'll probably see her sometime next week I think. I still feel in that hypomanic way; I don't think it helped at all that I went without sleep... I keep waking up in the middle of the night really paranoid anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...