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I'm Pretty Lost...


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But not in anxiety...in someone else's...I'm Nick and my fiancee has relapsed with her anxiety disorder for the second time in fours years.  However, this time we happen to be getting married in a month.  Now she has to use all her vacation days (as she does not have sick days yet) and will probably lose her job as being there only 3 mos. she is not eligible for disability.  This means we will either have to cancel our nuptials and honeymoon for the sake of surviving as they don't seem to be too forgiving about her condition. 

I'm guessing she will most likely lose her job since she needs more than one week to get over an episode.  I've started the big sell off to get the cash on hand i need to take care of her but I could only come up with about 3 mos. immediate cash.  I plan on stopping my Ph.D. and getting a job full-time to make income.  The first time she relapse with me she was out 3 mos. but was at her then job long enough to qualify for everything needed to cover her.

 

I wish I understood her, believe me.  I've though about leaving too.  But I can't do that to her.  I love her and I'd expect her to stick by my side regards of what kind of life we had.  It's funny cause I feel so selfish.  Taking care of someone who can have massive anxiety really takes a lot out of you.  I've never felt so down and destroyed, but I know regardless of how I feel life goes on.

 

I dunno what I hoped to gain out of this, but that's my two cents for at least a HELLO...

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Sorry to hear about what's going on with your fiancee, it sounds really tough for both her and you. 

 

Just so you know, this is a first person site, as a mod/admin will probably come to tell you.  You can post about your own mental health issues and concerns, but nobody can really help you with your fiancee's as she'll need to be here to post for herself.  Maybe you can ask her to take a look at the site and see about joining - maybe she'll find some comfort in talking to other people who have been where she is.

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Welp, your "information, suppport, community" is a crock of shit then...crazy people helping crazy people...MAKES SENSE...flag me so they disable my account because as far as I'm concern, after what you said, you should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves and maybe re-learn the definitions of support and community....

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No reason to get so upset...it's just the rules here.  It's hard for us to help people who come posting about their loved one's mental health as that's second-hand information.  If your fiancee came here to post about her anxiety and issues, she could certainly receive support from the community.

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Welp, your "information, suppport, community" is a crock of shit then...crazy people helping crazy people...MAKES SENSE...flag me so they disable my account because as far as I'm concern, after what you said, you should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves and maybe re-learn the definitions of support and community....

 

 

And... you just illustrated one of the reasons for the policy.

 

Crazy people helping crazy people?  HOW ABSURD, right?

The support needs of "crazy people" versus the people who care for/about them are very different and quite often clash.

Everyone needs a safe space.

To me it makes perfect sense.

You have not identified yourself as a person with a mental illness, so of course it doesn't make sense to you.

 

Anyway.

You may find what you are looking for at nami.org... they are inclusive of undiagnosed loved ones and provide many resources for support and information in that vein.

 

psychcentral is another option. They have a broad range of information, resources, support.

 

[PS: If you had bothered to read the new user guidelines presented to you upon signup, you would have seen that your post and request is not appropriate for this community.  You seem, however, downright shocked at the idea. i can only conclude you either didn't read it [which is not the best way to integrate oneself into a support community] or just didn't care to respect it [again, not a great plan].

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Welp, your "information, suppport, community" is a crock of shit then...crazy people helping crazy people...MAKES SENSE...flag me so they disable my account because as far as I'm concern, after what you said, you should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves and maybe re-learn the definitions of support and community....

Dude, seriously?

 

Look, this is a great forum for people with MI.  Encourage your fiancee to join us.  She can get a lot of benefit from it.  There are all sorts of valid reasons for keeping this a first-person forum.  Part of it is that other persons may get more defensive/angry on behalf of others than they might if they were inquiring for themselves.  Your response is a perfect case in point.

 

I can tell that you're very frustrated with your current situation.  That has to be very hard. 

 

Have you considered personal and/or pre-marital counseling?  It doesn't sound like you guys are going into this thing with a good foundation.

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Well i was gonna be nice and suggest therapy for yourselves because it can be very difficult being someone elses entire support system..but then you got all mean. Im very glad this is a first person site. I come hear to feel like other people understand what im going through and i wouldnt feel safe sharing this space with people who dont. There are tons of sites for friends and family..what we crazies shouldnt get are own space?

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