I'm not a expert. I only barely understand what's going on with me. Two concerning things have happened recently, and I'd like some input and info on how to handle this.
1) My 20 yo nephew went through a bad break up. First love, first heartbreak, that kind of bad. I feel like I was the only one who took him seriously. I guess I'm the only person in the family who remembers being 21 and crying til' ya' vomit. He tried to cut himself, but he's just not that guy. I talked to him for hours. I called him a couple of times every day. And every time he said he was depressed, I rolled my eyes and corrected him- he's dealing with grief. His was a temporary situation created by a traumatic change. His went away in 8 days. He was still sad, but healing. As hearts do. Now he's much better.
2) My best friend's 12 yo daughter has labeled herself depressed. My friend "Jane" monitors the google hangout "Anne" has with her friends. Anne and company have recently begun discussions regarding depression, ADHD, pansexuality, bisexuality, and identifying as agender and/or transgender. Anne calls herself pansexual, agender, and depressed. She's 12. I'm not trying to discredit her. She might identify as pansexual and agender. I don't think she really does, but I'm not entrenched in her personal life, and I wouldn't know how to immediately recognize those traits in a person. I do, however, firmly believe she does not have depression. Jane thinks she's 12 and freaking the fuck out like girls do. This kid isn't depressed. And not, you know, in the way that adults just ignore teen complaints. Not in the way people shrug things off. Jane and I are very good friends, and being able to live with, deal with, and identify mental illness symptoms plays a role in it. We're pretty sure these girls are just reaching for labels to find any way to identify with big concepts. They don't have sex lives. Their bodies and minds are trying to pick a direction. It seems like Anne is picking a destination, and probably for something a little less than attention but almost.
So how do you talk to people, especially teens, about these things? My nephew will never learn. He will cling to depression like it is his favorite shirt. Some people are fine with being corrected about using depressed. (No, I don't correct everyone. Just the obviously nots.) How do you explain to a child that depression is a very serious condition, and that idly picking it like a lipstick color, trivializes it? Or how adopting LGBTQ labels from an already struggling community minimizes their very real concerns? She's 12 and desperate for an identity she can show her friends. I'm scared that explaining depression symptoms would only give her something to embrace, some new ways to behave to drive the point home. Jane and I don't want this girl to act it out only to become it. How can we talk to her about depression in other people?
Reaching out to all the lovely people here to see if anyone else has felt this way.
I'm struggling right now with employment and my anxiety/panic triggers. I've just finished 12 months employment (my first employment since 2008) in a bookstore. I loved it, it was quiet, easy, part time, stress free work -especially once I got used to my daily tasks and used to the software-.
Sadly, the store closed down and now I'm back on the job hunt and back at Centerlink (Australian Welfare).
Now that I am back looking for work, I have been offered some work at a local fast food place.
(Years ago, worked at another of the fast food places in town and I found it to be a very triggering environment. I was unable to cope with the fast pace, the staff who expected you to know everything straight away, and the managers that would full on yell at you if you didn't work quickly enough.)
I know that there's a chance that this place wouldn't be like that, but I find even the thought of working there sends me into panic mode even during the interview, I could feel a panic attack trying to get a foothold to start.
I don't cope well with fast paced environments where you've got to learn and retain a lot of information right from the get go. I don't cope well with being 'flooded' with customers and having to process them on my own. I don't cope with having to deal with brusque staff and blunt managers.
So in short, working at a fast food place is a really really bad idea for me. Yet I feel partially forced to accept the work; a) because I do want/need to get more work, b) because to keep my welfare payments, I'm required to 'accept any reasonable' work that comes my way and c) to help contribute financially to our family.
It's gotten to the point that I am thinking of lying to my hubby and family and saying they've already got someone working there and don't need me.
--I haven't felt able to express how I feel to my husband yet. He's so supportive and understanding, and doesn't judge me, but I feel like such a fool, and he's given up so much and works so hard in a job he hates to support me and our son, that right now, I feel unable to broach just how horrible (& mentally unwell) the idea of working there makes me feel.--
I don't have a PDoc atm -haven't in a while cause I can't afford one-, but I am thinking of seeing a decent psychologist to see if they can help me handle this sort of thing better than I am alone.
I'm sorry for the novel!
I just wish I didn't feel like such a failure
I'm really hoping someone here will have some insight.
I was diagnosed bipolar in January 2012 and ended up on disability leave from my call center job (which I had held for 3 years). So after winter/spring 2012, It was a rough year plus on the med go round. I was hospitalized twice. I applied for and received SSDI on the first try, I had my back pay within 7 months of the initial application. I found a med that worked for me for a while, and in fall 2013 my wife was laid off. I was feeling better. So I got a job in a call center. Full time, with benefits, decent pay. After I started in October 2013, I made it about 9 months before relapse. I took an 8 week leave of absence from work in July/August 2014.
After going back to work, I applied for a promotion and interviewed 3 or 4 times for the job. I prepped extensively for interviews and slayed them. I got the job. Suddenly I worked in a bank, not a call center, and I had to wear business suits and high heels. Suddenly I had clients constantly badgering me for something (usually to waive their fees), I had to source my own call lists and screen numbers through the federal do not call list, I had to shake hands with people and smile constantly and it was just a lot for me to deal with. I made it about 4 months in a hypomanic whirl and then crashed spectacularly in January 2015. Got disability leave from work, unpaid. Had to get SSDI reinstated. Went back to therapy. Changed my meds. Getting better was my job. I spent most of April and May suicidal. Eventually my mood improved as we nailed down my cocktail.
So then I asked about going back to work. My pdoc and I determined that I wasn't ready to work full time, but she encouraged me to try part time. So I submitted the documents for a reduced work schedule and my employer said nope, just stay on leave until you come back full time. Okay. So I can't do my job full time, but they won't let me do it part time, but I feel well enough to be able to work some, and I'm fucking broke. Enter my wife's employer, which is a competing financial institution. We'll call it "the co-op." They have a part time job opening doing marketing/telesales at a call center. They recruit me heavily. I interview for the position and blow it out of the water. They offer me the job. They increase the starting pay by $1.50 additional per hour due to my resume/experience. I accept the job. I started at the beginning of July.
So I go to orientation at the co-op. It's a little embarrassing the fuss people are making about me. I already knew a lot of the employees from attending work functions with my wife. After orientation I show up at the "co-op" and start doing some training. During this first week, I talked to my supervisor, whom we'll call Misty. I sat down with her and explained that I have a disability and I'm on SSDI, and I can only work a certain number of hours each month to stay under the earnings limit for social security. Misty says it wouldn't be a problem. The next week we were working together to set my work schedule for August, and I email her again that I can only work 77 hours per calendar month. She responds to the email, again saying that it's no problem whatsoever.
Yesterday was the 31st of August. On a hunch, at the end of my shift on Saturday, I went into the timekeeping system and pulled the report showing how many hours I'd worked in August. I was at 76. So on Monday I come in to work and show Misty the pertinent reports and I agree to stay for an hour to return calls from voicemail and deal with various situations under my purview, and then leave for the day. Misty says this is totally fine by her.
Today I come in to work and handle my stuff, eventually we have a meeting scheduled. It is uneventful. Misty asks me to stay afterwards to talk to her. She tells me that I can't have days off at the end of the month. I say okay, we will plan better next time. She starts telling me about how she doesn't think she can accommodate my hours and that the VP of marketing is going to be mad at her if she continues to allow me to work a reduced schedule. I was quiet and listened to what she had to say. I told her that I had been totally transparent about my disability from day one, and she agreed. I told her that I thought it sounded like a reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I told her that if she needed me to work more hours then the only way I could keep my job is if they cut my pay. She said that they're not allowed to cut my pay because of HR. She told me that since I'm part time they don't need to accommodate me, and told me about how they just let go two part time employees for getting pregnant. I told her I didn't understand how that was applicable to my situation, because I'm not asking for maternity leave. Misty skirted around my question about accommodations and reiterated that she hired me to work the hours that they need and I didn't tell her during my interview that I needed accommodation. She really made it sound like she felt that I'd lied to her. I asked her if this had anything to do with performance, and she said no. I'm well ahead of the goals for how many calls I need to make and how many sales referrals I need to make. Other supervisors and managers had complimented Misty on my work when I had to escalate situations to member relations. She said that she was going to have to talk to the VP of Marketing and HR and get back to me. She made it quite clear that she thought the coop would be willing/able to let me go.
I spent an hour plus tonight reading over the ADA page on the EEOC website.(http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/accommodation.html#general ) I didn't go to law school, but I'm reasonably intelligent and from my reading all of this bullshit is completely illegal. I do not have any obligation to inform a prospective employer about accommodations I may need. They chose not to ask me during the interview process. I am clearly capable of performing the essential functions of the job. I am meeting all performance parameters despite the fact that I work fewer hours than others do. I have done nothing remotely inappropriate. I requested accommodations immediately, both verbally and in writing. I feel that I am liked and respected at the office, and given all of the energy that all of these people put into recruiting me, you'd think it would be small potatoes to just give me 2 or 3 extra days off per month. I am mostly certain that there is no legal way for them to terminate my employment without getting sued for wrongful termination.
Nevertheless, I am nervous. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this before? The coop is a smaller company than those I've worked for in the past, but they are large enough to be subject to FMLA and the ADA. How do I handle this? Do I need to have legal counsel write me a letter (one of my college pals might do it as a favor), or do I just plead my case to HR and hope I come out on top? I don't know what comes next. I don't know what I'm doing. Up until this afternoon I felt like the luckiest person alive to be able to find a job that is something that I'm good at for few enough hours to keep me sane. I love my job. I love going to work. I love feeling productive. Today I made a SICK excel spreadsheet and it was so fucking rewarding.
I really don't want to lose my job. Thoughts, suggestions, ideas, all welcome.
I have a dilemma: My boyfriend wants me to work, but I'm in school full time, schizophrenic, and my psychiatrist thinks working is a really bad idea. In fact, she said she was upset with me that I was considering working again, because every time I do, it triggers psychotic symptoms.
I need to work. I need the money, even though I have disability. Or at least that's what my boyfriend insists. I don't know if I should resent him for pushing me (when I've explained what my doctor said), or push myself harder to succeed in employment.
Any suggestions? Experiences?
I don't really know if I am posting in the right place. So modificators, feel free to move, thanks.
Hmm so I have a big problem with identity. It's like, I don't have any hopes and dreams, or knowledge of what I like or whatever. Even if I did, I don't know how it'd relate to getting a job or what job field to go in. So my question is, is there any advice service that can help with this? Or something? I feel like recruitment agencies are only a big parade leading to them doing what I could do anyway for free.
I hate my current job with a passion, I hear people laugh uncomfortably when I tell them I spent 50 hours a week wishing I were dead (at least), but it's not a joke (travelling time is ideation time, if I'm not asleep). Don't tell anyone, but my current job makes me dissociate (maybe), and I cry a lot (it's dumb), and have nosebleeds (it never happened before, and I'm pretty sure I haven't been near any radioactive waste recently). I'm good at being sober in general, but the only way I feel like I can face work is being high off my ass or drunk as hell.
All my good qualities are neglected. I'm losing my integrity. I'm really, really overqualified. I make people laugh so much. There's a good relationship with other workers because it sucks, but really all their lives are about is, how shitfaced they got on Saturday/Sunday/Wednesday night.
I take a razor to work a lot. I don't use it because that would be unhygienic but sometimes I just contemplate it. I want to move. I mean, I'll take a decent job in any country in the world.