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Everything Sucks.


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I'm a 21 year old female. I make a decent living, despite having no real education. I've been opiate dependent since the age of 14. I like to think of myself as "self aware", but I don't ever seem to find the time to seek professional help. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety...but I'm also a drug addict. Ever since I had my first taste it was on like donkey kong.

 

Right now, I'm clean. This time it's lasted 8 months, if you consider daily doses of Suboxone clean. I take less than what was once prescribed to me (4mg daily/half a strip). This allows me to work my 40 hours a week, and not use heroin. I'm SURVIVING. But I want more. I want enjoyment in my life. I want to feel the way I did as a child. When I was 12, I was ready to rule the world. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I live with. He's not an addict. He has no apparent mental health issues. He's my rock, and I'm fully dependent on him. Another addiction, but true love all the same.

 

I want life, and I want to be excited about living it. I wanna get off the suboxone shit, I want to be 12 again.

 

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Welcome to Crazyboards, Nancy.  I think 8 months of being clean is a big deal and a good start on the road to recovery.

 

If you want to be happy and stable again, you really need to get professional help.  We can be helpful and friendly here at CB, but we're not therapists and doctors.  You have complicated issues that should be addressed with a psychiatrist and a therapist.  I hope you will consider finding a medical team to help you get better.

 

Please be sure to read our User Agreement so you understand how we operate.  I'm glad you came here and I hope you enjoy being a part of our wacky family.

 

olga

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