I'm tapering off clomipramine, right now I'm down to 75 mg.
I've been on it for almost a year, but I'm not impressed with the results. I was hoping it would work better than my last two SSRI's (which seemed to do the best job when I took them for the first time) but I can't go higher than 100 mg because of side effects.
A few months ago risperidone was added to the clomipramine. I'm on 1 mg a day. I've seen some improvement, but I can still have difficult days or even weeks where I'm having too much intrusive thoughts (or thought, since it's been only one thought which bothers me).
I've had good results from fluvoxamine and escitalopram, but both pooped out. Maybe clomipramine had pooped out too.
According to my pdoc, taking risperidone as a monotherapy won't have much effect. And with OCD, an antipsychotic is mainly added as an augment treatment.
So what to do next?
So I've been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 5 years. I want to love him I really do, I want to have a good relationship. But we don't even have sex. I'm 21 years old, almost 22. I still love with my mom and I suffer from depression. I'm worried I'll fall into a spiral of depression like I did the last time we broke up and I almost committed suicide. It would be so much easier if I had someone to talk to to tell me it would all be fine and i will find somebody else who makes me way more happy. Honestly I don't remember when my life was somewhat normal. I work 50,000 times harder then my boyfriend. I actually make decent money and I'm going places and being recognized for things I do. Where as my boyfriend hasn't worked in months, he just now got a job that pays him an average amount of money. For a man I think it's shit pay. My dad and all the men in my family basically except my mom side. Work super hard for their cash. My dads side is very traditional in that sense. So the fact that I'm dating a low life is very concerning. I have cheated and we broke up then got back together a few times. We have got in raging fights etc I've thrown things. Clearly very unhealthy. I used to be much happier. I wish I had friends. My only friend is my mom and him. It's very depressing. Right now I'm on a very low dose of escitalopram. Which helps a bit and my job definitely helps but I don't have a good support system at home. I miss having friends and a supportive boyfriend. I don't know how to help this situation. Or maybe I do and I just need some encouragement. Any advice? Anyone been through something similar? No judgment please. If I want judgment I'll go to Yahoo answers... lol thanks in advance ??
photo is from when we first started dating maybe less than I year in.
I was reading a question from the relationship subreddit on, of course, Reddit to my fiancé.
He mentions that sometimes people DO keep photos of an ex on their phone, which I kinda don't get if they have Facebook...isn't that kinda the point? Wouldn't you want to delete them so you don't get all hurt feelings again? Photos of the two of you, MAYBE. But just them? He says maybe to remember the good times you did have. Or if you were married to them and had kids, cause you still love them (that makes a LITTLE more sense, my dad still loves my mother, they were married and had me. He still loves the mother of his son, no matter what bad shit my mom did to my dad, or my fiancé's ex did to him, I get it. and children make a stronger bond in a marriage, IMO at least.)
So what do yall think?
Been awhile since I been here, a lot has happened in the last few months.
I got engaged, my fiance was in jail for 2.5 mo, and it sucked.
Now, he's back. We fought the first three days or so, cause we hadn't been around one another. Fighting's died down, but my jealousy issues are back and fucking kicking.
Lovely, I know. Even with his checking out other woman or liking porn at times.
I get a fear when we get married he'll find someone prettier and better, and leave me. Do I think he'll ever cheat? No. Leave? Maybe.
He says he loves me will never leave, unless I do something insane i.e. stab him, shoot him, cause bodily harm, etc .
He also referred to my jealousy as me being crazy.
I've not been stable taking my meds, again. For awhile now.....or gone to counseling in awhile. Him being in jail kinda threw us off entirely.
We've got our first pre-marital counseling session with my therapist (who's actually an LMC) next week. We used to go to sessions together, too. But I want our marriage to work, and he seems like he does, or says so.
We currently aren't living together, either. He lives a couple blocks from me. A friend of his who's never liked me, doesn't like me being over. Won't say why. My dad doesn't like him being here, I moved back home.
I just hope my jealousy issues go down, that I believe he cares. My dad doesnt like us being together, claims my fiance has no ambition. He has been out of jail maybe two weeks now, and just got his job back. Starts Sunday, my dad worries he won't be able to take care of me.....
A man I am rather fond of and has shown other flirting behaviours before referred to me as "The lovely (my name)" the other day - im not quite sure exactly what he meant if that makes sense? What do you think could be the deeper meaning behind this? Was he flirting perhaps?