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Hello everyone,

 

I'm finding paranoia to be one of my more chronic/debilitating symptoms of my bipolar. I am currently weaning off seroquel and started Lamictal on Tuesday. 

 

In the past when I had my GAD & MDD diagnoses, doctors told me my paranoia was just anxiety. But now that I have the correct diagnosis, I know better. 

 

I get extremely worried about people's opinions (in the past, I had been so paranoid I wouldn't leave the house out of fear of being judged or spoken about -- I would think when I looked at these people they were literally talking about me). Now, however, my paranoia seems very much relationship and self esteem based.

 

I am so paranoid about my husband cheating on me or leaving me that it has been causing some arguments (by which I mean, his crazy bipolar wife - me, yelling and crying and him looking stunned). My husband is so supportive and understanding of my issues and has told me he knows "it's his job to look after me". It's completely irrational that I think he will leave.

 

I suppose it's because of so many tumultuous and failed friendships and relationships, he's just another person I'm scared of pushing away or losing. 

 

I also worry about his attraction to me, since I've put on 60lbs with the Remeron/Seroquel combo. I use to be quite petite for my height and as someone who had disordered eating in the past, this really gets me down how different my body is now.

 

I'm currently attending DBT and have an excellent treating team. I think I am appropriately medicated, I feel a thousand times better on Lamictal. I'm praying that it lasts. 

 

Is anyone else affected by these paranoid feelings? Will it get better or easier to deal with?

 

 

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We don't need marriage counselling. I have the most amazing husband ever. The only thing affecting this is the fact I'm delusionally paranoid that he will. That's what I want advice on, how to deal with those emotions.

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I have dealt with this a lot. My symptoms have been where yours are at and I wrote it off as anxiety as well, because .. well that is what the doctors told me. 

 

Things that helps ? Still working on it. I can tell you I just got to Lamictal 200 and it is not nearly as bad when at home. When I leave the house at all it becomes significantly worse though. On the upside my massive delusional fits and extreme paranoia have subsided heavily. For me, I think it is mixed states that cause this as it is not all day every day year after year. It is for months and even a year or so on end though at times. 

 

Again .. Lamictal helps but doesn't fix it, at least not at 200 mg. I do think the addition of something along the lines of Abilify would help but I am postponing it until I try at least 300 of lamictal  .. Because who really WANTS antipsychotics. Also, my last experience with Seroquel made me even more paranoid. 

 

Please stay strong. I know how unbelievably tough it is .. and others do too. I can also relate to thinking SO is going to cheat when it makes no sense. It does however seem real in your head even if you don't believe it. For me it got far worse than that where I thought someone was in the house with her and they were having fun .. All the way to people plotting to kill me. It sucks. Hang in there, we have the right med combo somewhere :)

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Forgive the delayed response.  I think it can get quite a bit better.

 

Lithium (now Depakote) helped me not wake my husband at midnight to cry at him.  Therapy helped a lot, a lot -- I did not trust him because I was pretty sure I deserved to be discarded.  Don't tell anyone, but I actually tried to return my engagement ring once (while keeping my wedding ring).  Not recommended.  He looked at me like I had grown another head.

 

While you are working on the weight thing (empathy! I've had weight issues, med gain, etc.) I found it helpful to seek out role models who were not small but seemed confident, well put together, and happy.  I was pretty judgmental of these people once, but I am a lot happier in a more inclusive world with more people to admire.  I find it very difficult to discuss these things, but it might be helpful to bring it up with your husband.  When mine said "it's good you're losing weight BUT I do not expect you to look 18" it made me very reassured.

 

Happy DBT and welcome to Lamictal.  I hope it continues to be good for you.

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I have psychotic symptoms, but I get paranoid as well. Bad paranoia.

Try the Lamictal. You may need to add a small (or large, it depends on your reaction) dose of an AP (antipsychotic) to your cocktail as well, but I can't diagnose or medicate you. But give the Lamictal a chance before adding meds. 

Sometimes paranoia is more anxiety related and can be dealt with with a regular or PRN anti anxiety medication. Sometimes I can feel paranoia come on, and I'll take a small dose of Xanax and it will fade. (Doctor directed)

 

Your Mileage May Vary. 

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