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My boyfriend is driving me crazy (er)


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I live with a man who is (I think) MI. He is angry all the time at everything. He gets mad at me if I want to eat the same thing he's eating, if I need to be in the kitchen while he's cooking, if I need to get in the bathroom to use it while he's shaving or in the shower. It's like he's got a narcissitic disorder of some sort. He talks non-stop about nothing, and in trivial detail at that. When he does want to talk about his feelings, he talks about how everyone is doing this or that to him to MAKE him feel that way. He's so out of touch with reality that it makes me want to tell him just to SHUT UP. And that makes the situation worse because then he interprets it that I don't care. I do care but he makes no sense half the time that it's hard to tolerate. He over analyzes everything to death.

I'm in a hard situation because I do love him but he's driving me away. He ignores me all day long because he says that when he's depressed the only thing that clears his head is reading. I think he's full of it. He's isolating instead of DEALING with it. He sits back in our room and lays up in bed reading and leaves me to tend to the baby all by myself and then won't even watch a little TV with me at night. He says, "I'll be out in a little while" but he never comes out.

When I'm depressed I like to be with someone I love and I'm really sad right now. He just lost his job and I'm jobless too. I can't work because of my depression and I can't get along with anyone either. I just don't like anybody...probably because I don't really like myself.

Anyway, I"m waiting for my inheritance so I can move away by myself but I also really don't want to leave him, I want him to get better too. I just don't think we'll get better together. We're making eachother worse. Lately he's been insitgating our drug use and I've been trying to get back into AA after a recent relapse and it's hard when he's offering it to me.

If I left him now, I would have absolutely no money and no place to live and I'm not going to a shelter because that would make me more depressed and they'd expect me to find a job and to be honest it's very, very difficult to find a decent job in this town if you're NOT depressed plus I don't drive.

This is just a big mess.

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Sending you healing vibes and love. Sorry to hear that things are so dire. I wish that I could suggest something. But i am thinking of you and (if you don't mind) keeping you in my meditations.

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