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son was stillborn med related?

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Hi everyone,

my son Dominic Noah was born still on July 31,2005.

He suffered from Dandy-Walker Syndrome and Hydrosephalus (water on the brain) I got pregnant while on the pill and on topomax,paxil, and xanax.

my pdoc and ob both said it was ok to stay on meds. when my son was diagnosed they said it was not related to meds or my illness. i did not take any xanax or benzos during my pregnancy only 200mg topomax and 20mg paxil.

My son was born still at full term 36 weeks his heart just stopped. the pregnancy was monitered closley after his diagnosis. my heart is broken and this has sent me into extreme depression. my pdoc put me on wellbitrin 175mg.

even though the drs said the meds did not cause my sons death i still blame myself and the meds.....my question is ...has anyone had a successful pregnancy on meds?

p.s. Dominic was my first born, iam 32 years old and DW Syndrome is not a genetic illnes

thank you for any responses


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I am so very sorry for your loss. What a heartbreaking thing for any mama to go through!

Many women do have successful pregnancies on medications. Thus far, I am one of them. Something you must keep in mind is that there is always a small risk of any woman having a child with the same conditions yours had, even if she was not medicated in any way or had any genetic history of the illness. Sometimes we just don't know why it happens. That's not a satisfying answer, and it does nothing to diminish your pain/grief, but please do not add guilty feelings to that pain and grief. I would trust your doctors. These things do happen sometimes for no reason that we will ever know in this life.

Here is a resource for bereaved parents who have lost a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, or in early infancy: http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/index.shtml. I hope you will find some comfort in knowing you are not alone, and you do not have to bear this grief by yourself.


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Your heart most be broken over the loss of Dominic. But as faith has already said, sometimes these things just happen for no reason. Dandy-Walker Syndrome is a rare birth defect and I can't find any information stating that it is related to taking medications during pregnancy. I know it must be hard not to blame yourself. But sometimes mother nature/God knows what is best and a still born infant can be her way of saying that the child was to be spared any suffering.

I urge you to continue to talk to your pdoc again about the Wellbutrin. You are suffering grief, are mourning, all on top of depression. You need not suffer any more. You do not want your depression to worsen or your sense of guilt to worsen. I am sure it will take time to recover from your loss but having some medication to help is nothing to feel guilty about either.

Be well.


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He is an angel and he looks beautiful--I am so glad you have pictures and rememberances of him.  He will always live in your heartm but those hysical things are important and will become more important.

Please, if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me any time.

Love, Chnia

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Your poem brought me to tears. I am so moved by it - I am almost at a loss for words. Your son will we waiting for you when the time comes and then you can sing to him and hold him in your arms and hear his laughs and cries and first words and first steps....


I don't know what else to say except I am deeply sorry for your loss and I am so very glad that you have those beautiful pictures and blankies and clothings to remember him by every single day. He is watching over you now, just as you watched over him for those wonderful months when he loved to kick you every day.

Same as China, I am always here for you to PM and talk about anything.


I know from your writings how much you love your son and I cannot offer enough empathy, sympathy, and good wishes for you, your husband, and your angel - always.


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