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Am struggling at the moment  i want to drink and do drugs 

My husband says he will leave me if am drunk 24/7 

I went to a drop in but i wasnt in the catchment area for the drop in but i was refereed to another place 

thats in my catchment area but they said it will be about a week or so before they will get in touch 

I don't do AA or NA  i have been to them but i found that it wasn't for me I found the meetings hard and i was very anxious around people 

and id take panic attacks  while my husband was allowed to come in some groups some people objected to him being there and i cant cope with people on my own because my voices tell me to hurt people i need my husband with me while am there 

I think my flashbacks triggered the want to drink and take drugs just to make them go away for a while 

I know that is unhealthy to do that 

I have asked my psych about Therapy ( abuse counselling) and he said it wouldn't help me  I have had 7 sessions with a counselor but it was with a charity and they only do it once 

I normally listen to music and be online ...i also read as well 

Am unsure what to do about my flashbacks am not coping with them at all 

I  just want to escape from them all together 




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