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My mother told me today that I have been doing and saying things that I have no memory of doing or saying. She has said that I have had many arguments about things. I have no memory of these! I am not sure what else I have done. 

 

I think that I am being framed by my family. They are trying to put memories in my head to make me look crazy. My mother hid the applesauce in the refrigerator and made it look like I lost the applesauce. I know what they are doing. They are setting me up. 

 

I am SCARED. If I tell my pdoc this tomorrow, I will be locked up in the crazy ward. I have been there 3 times last year. I don't want to go back again. :(

 

Does this happen to any of you? Not having memories of what you say and do? 

 

Also, could it be the medicine or the disorder? Or both?

Edited by CynicalReality
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do you generally have trust issues with family, your mum in particular?

 

if not, and that's something that's recently surfaced...i think that's important to consider.

 

with memory...i have memory retrieval issues oftentimes, but usually, even if what i'm being reminded of happened during an episode, etc, when i'm given more context i usually have the memory spring to mind.  if asked "cold" so to speak, have you ever ___...my first response might be no simply because i dno't remember it without an assist.  

 

if these are things that evenwith detail you can't place... do they tend to "sound" like things you've done in the past? can you imagine yourself doing them even if you can't remember specifically doing them?

 

i will say that, sadly, i tend to hvae more memories of things i've said and done than i really care to have...particularly when whatever the thing is isn't one of my finest moments...

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Yes, I have trust issues. I think my sister killed my horse because my horse always won blue ribbons in the show ring and her horse didn't win. 

 

I think that sometimes my food gets poisoned. That's why I have diarrhea after I eat dinner. They do it to torture me.

 

I think that my family is annoyed with me because I am a pain in the ass.

 

It might be possible that I do certain things and say certain things. But, I don't think that my memory is as bad as my family claims it is. My family wants to make me look crazy. Someone wants me in the nut house.  

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Okay, so sometimes my memory is atrociously bad, but that's only when I'm acutely ill with some MI problem, usually some psychosis type stuff. To me it feels like my brain is overloaded and something has to give. It gets better when I'm stable, I actually have a very good memory usually.

 

 I do believe that you are having memory problems, and I really hope it gets better for you, as I understand that it's very distressing. It might be time to have a med change, definitely bring this up. It's not likely to go away o its own, and your pdoc wants to help you.

 

Your current living situation sounds very stressful, are there any ways you can spend less time with them?

 

I do think there may be a possibility that these thoughts are part of your illness and not apart of you. It's possible for you to get better. Thoughts of being framed / poisoned  are often delusional thoughts that hold no basis in reality, I've had that before and at the time I was 100% convinced it was fact, turns out it really, really wasn't.. I really do urge you to be honest and not let your fear of hospitalisation control you.

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I once took ambien and it did the same to me. thank god my family filmed me and i could see the one hour of me doing stupid shit and talking crazy stuff. i told my parents to "suck my balls" too. I'd blame the xanax as it would also act on the GABA receptors.

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is your living situation dependent upon being with them?

 

Yes, it is. I can't live on my own. If I do, then bad things happen, like me not showering, not cooking, not doing laundry, harming myself, etc. :(

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Thank you all for your input. Leash, That sounds crazy. Sometimes that happens to me too, thinking that things are real when they are only a dream.

 

Ambien sounds pretty scary. I have heard some bizarre stories from people on Ambien. 

 

Maybe my memory is pretty messed up then. 

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I'm sorry you're going through this and that you have those feelings about your family, It can be scary but I don't think they mean to harm you or want to frame you though. I don't know exactly what kind of memory problems you are having but I have some that sound similar...I mostly notice when I am living with other people because they point it out to me. I find eggs in the drawer or DVD's in the freezer or sometimes do things that I don't remember. I've always done that to an extent (I tend to multitask without knowing it so I must put things in strange places while not paying attention...I used to think ghosts were leaving hints for me by putting things around the house for me to find, but I know its probably actually me), I have always had memory problems and been on the inattentive side and my mom too (she accuses me of taking things that she has actually misplaced and has no idea). Forgetfulness can happen for a lot of reasons but its a good thing to bring up with someone. In my experience it happens when I am having trouble with other things, when I am very stressed in particular. I would tell your pdoc and maybe they can help you sort out what's been happening to your memory. goodluck!

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