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coming to terms and looking for help

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So first time poster new member. I'm female and twenty one. I always thought this sick problem of mine was a 14 year old girl problem. It started for me from 12-15. Its been five years since the last. I went off the night before work and now I'm on anleave of absence.

I've done counselling before but didn't talk about anything. Now as an adult I feel better. However I am worried about the stigma. I mean I feel more pathetic now being an adult than I did as a teen.

I'm ready to work on this. Talk about this and past issues that have brought this up. I am just wondering what to expect during my visit.

What are some good things I should look for in a therapist and what are big No Nos.

This is putting a strain on my sex life. I'm embedded to talk about my problem. My boyfriend has been excellent to me but I'm just not ready for this. I know he will be upset and mad for a bit but more out of concern.

So my question

1)Tips on finding a good counsellor

2) do you know of links that I could read or send to my boyfriend before fully talking about it

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Hi there! Welcome to CB. 


When it comes to finding a good therapist, sometimes it helps to look online. Sometimes, you can find good reviews online about whether or not a therapist is good or bad. 


When you first see a therapist, they will want to get to know you. They will want to know about any mental illness you have. Sometimes they will want to know what meds you are on or have had in the past. They might have you fill out a questionnaire to get to know you better. 


A good therapist does not laugh at you or judge you. They maintain good eye contact. They listen to you. They can feel bad for you, but not to the point of hugging you or something like that. A good therapist takes their time. They should not pressure you to divulge all your information out the first or second time you visit them. 


I hope that this helps you out. 


Also, what do you want the links to be about? 

Edited by CynicalReality
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Information on maybe how to explain to others. I have found many sites explaining it but it only seems like that information is for me the person doing it. I have yet to find something for the person living with somebody that does si. I found one spot called healthy place years ago and considered it.

Maybe what I'm looking for doesn't exist. I mean the only spots that sugar coat it are the ones glorifying it. That's not what I want nor what I need. I just don't want the me coming out with it to be triggering. I'm ready now. I understand this isn't a solution that is healthy I want to get better. It seems the only true way to get better is to get worse. I went five years without. I didn't stop because I wanted to. I sadly just missed swimming.

I now feel that I have a real reason. I'm ready to deal with this head on but want to do it at the best approach ever. I was thinking of explaining it to some of the people I love through text. Maybe get some solid info that doesn't sound so crazy and dark.

Perhaps maybe a Story of coming out. Si style.

Sorry for ranting and going off about Nothing

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Ahh, ok. I understand. 


This is a website with information about SI for people who don't SI to become educated about it. 


I SI and I think this website does a great job explaining it to other people. I hope you will find it useful. http://www.scar-tissue.net/leaflets/FamFriendsfactsheet.pdf


That is a fact sheet about SI. 


There is no need to apologize. Here at CB, we support each other. 

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