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you know. 

 

I think ive been hypomanic for over a week and didn't know it. Only my boyfriend and my friends noticed. weird that my family didnt notice but i guess i havent really been home. well my mom said i look high but i swear i havent done any drugs.

 

anyway

 

this is why my bf thinks im hypomanic:

 

-i have been flirting with a guy for a week over text. I have no idea why my bf has put up with this.

-i shopped so bad i can't pay my bills. my bf had to bail me out. 

-barely sleeping, not tired. 

-excessively ADHD

-failing my class due to my ADHD-ness/not caring

-very happy

 

why i think im hypomanic:

 

-my brain is swirly

-i have been listening to justin bieber on repeat

-i won't get out of the CB chatroom cause i wanna chat

-i stole something

-i am just realizing everything stupid ive done in the last week.

-i can't close my eyes, they are very wide!!!! this is my face O________O

-i am going out of my mind with boredom

-my eyelids are twitching

 

How did my doctor miss this? i just saw him on wednesday. i told him i was feeling great, i guess he believed me.  ^_^

 

so my question is:

 

what do i do?? i have no sleep meds, but i managed to make myself sleep for 9 hours last night. i FORCED myself to. i think my body was exhausted anyway. i usually sleep like 15 hours a night. ive been sleeping like 4-6 hours a night lately.

 

anyway.. i have only been hypo twice or three times in my life (I'm 22) and its usually irritable not euphoric like this. i just feel so good i want to tell everyone how beautiful the world is and how beautiful i feel. no one in chat wants to hear it though. 

 

how do i know when its not hypomania anymore and it's full blown mania? How do i know when i should get help? i am thinking of going to see my doctor on monday. 

 

im technically bipolar 2, so maybe it wont become mania but i keep getting these surges of happiness and energy!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i am afraid to go outside cause im afraid i'll go to the bridge where the sun wants me to kill myself. 

 

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Can you call the doctor to see if you can get an emergency appointment? It's best if you get a handle on it now before it gets too bad. It might a good idea to ask for a PRN for future episodes to short-circuit them.

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I would try to get in to see your doctor, para. A lot of the things you're describing sound like hypomania and a couple of the things you've done could have repercussions you don't want to have to deal with later. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to a doctor; who doesn't want to feel good? If you are worried about the sun again and killing yourself, sounds like your doc needs to know about it. Stay safe.

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Go see your doctor on Monday .    I thought I read in your blog yesterday that you were already planning on doing this.

 

I do not have the same diagnosis as you do, so I can't pretend to know how you're feeling....but I am familiar with bipolar to the extent that I realize when you feel so euphoric, happy, and energetic it is hard to let that go and seek help.

 

BUT!  You've already done some things around the edges of your life  (stealing, not caring about school, the texting w/another guy) that could get really worse if you DON'T get advice & help now.

 

So . . . .   like Mal said above:  STAY SAFE.   

 

Lots of people care about you.  A whole lot of caring.

 

I don't want to see you go into a full-blown manic episode.

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yes. i will go to the doctor on monday  ^_^

 

thank you all for caring. i greatly appreciate your beautiful kindness.

 

am i becoming psychotic again? i am afraid to go outside. i am compelled to go to the bridge. i am confused. 

 

anyway, you are all great!  ^_^

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I, too, have a bridge in my town that I'm afraid to go near for fear I will impulsively hurl myself off of it.  I have driven 30-40 miles out of my way before to avoid this bridge. 

 

So... just stay the fuck away from that bridge until you aren't feeling hypo.   

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I wasnt able to get in to see the doctor, i probably won't be able to till friday. You are all so kind. I really appreciate you all. 

 

And i am staying away fro the bridge. I successfully went to work today and did not go to the bridge. :D

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Work went really good! I did a great job!

 

Then I came home and crashed and slept for 13 hours.  :blink:

 

I feel a lot better after sleeping, FINALLY. Still gonna see my doc on Friday though. 

 

I think this hypo is starting to wind down on it's own, I'm starting to feel normal. Still speedy, but more normal. 

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Para,

 

Frere Jacque, Frere Jacque, DORMEZ-VOUS????

 

We were both talking a lot over the weekend, was it the weekend? yeah I guess.  And well? what scares me is that dx or no?

Our BP can kindle.   I know, for all the pundits waiting to pounce that 'kindling' is a debatable topic.....meh.

 

My lifelong BP1 kindled and hasn't stopped kindling.  So, Im thinking yeah, a pdoc visit is ESSENTIAL?   Cause we seem to be spiralling at the same time, and well, the symptoms BF mentioned??? Can cross the line really. Have you considered the possibility of Mania, and this is only the wonderful starshine beginning? that things could get really bad. Yeah, of course you have....

 

See pdoc and don't hold anything back.   Really. Nothing.  I always thought hypo was the fun and kinda manageable mania.....the lines in sand are in books, not in lives.  Either way the rx falls.....pdoc is a must.

 

I've toyed with scheduling and cancelling with pdoc all week. The mild hallucinations began to day.  Yeah, so I gotta listen to my own shit too......I got out the biz card for my doc, and I'm calling on lunch break tomorrow. So my mind says today....I gotta do it tomorrow tho, so I gotta do it before, well.......you know.

 

It's all just too damn much fun though, aint it, for the most part. As folks advised .....stop it before your life is a Rock n Roll circus, complete with midgets, heroin, cars in swimming pools, thousands in debt and vomiting in a Holiday Inn toilet in a town you don't know the name of :blink:

 

Sigh. We know what we gots to do. Problem is we don't do it.  I'll got to pdoc if you will? :)    Keep us posted, my thoughts are with you.  We'll kick this shit in the teeth.

 

Peace

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Thats funny para! We must be symptom sisters or something! I slept for like 10 hours yesterday and I'm feeling more grounded too! I think this will hopefully end soon for the both of us.

Please see your pdoc on Friday though no matter what happens. It will be good for him/her to help monitor you as well.

Take care!

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Sooooo despite that i've been sleeping 13 hours the past three nights, my doc says im still hypomanic and this is just my body making up for sleep deprivation. Im starting lamictal to bring me down from thd ceiling.

I guess i am still hypo. I yelled "MORE DRUGS" at my pharmacist and laughed but apparently thats not that funny cause she didnt laugh. Oh well.

I thought i was normal again. Boooo

Edited by Parapluie
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Lamictal only? That's a weird choice, in my opinion, since a lot of people find it very activating in low (read:starting) doses. Like, up to 150-200 mgs. Just a warning. You may find you feel worse before you feel better. And if you do, scream and holler until your pdoc gives you Seroquel or a short-term benzo to take the edge off.

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I find it odd that your pdoc didn't reduce your Effexor and possibly your Abilify, since both drugs can be activating. I agree that you should monitor yourself very carefully and perhaps ask for some Seroquel and/or to have Effexor removed or reduced, at least for the time being.

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