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Anyone else ever feel like this?


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Hi everyone

As of about 3 weeks ago, I seem to have fallen into some sort of depression. It started with about 4-5 days of having a really "down" mood and has reached a point where I just feel completely unmotivated and apathetic, get irritated easily and feel like everything I do is robotic and done because I feel that "I have to do it" rather than out of any real sense of ambition or motivation.

You know that feel-good "rush" of brain-candy-chemicals you get when you have something to look forward to or something fun happens in your life like a new puppy or an exciting new hobby?. I haven't gotten that feeling in awhile. Something fun or interesting could happen in my life and rather than feel joy and happiness over it, i would probably just sit and stare at the wall or something.

I was getting these left-sided headaches for awhile too and a lot of anxiety. Also felt pretty dull-minded/loopy/dizzy and was having nocturnal panic attacks and other strange night-time things. Some mild memory issues and lack of mental clarity as well and some other weird stuff. Thought I was losing my mind at one point. Finally went to the ER where they did a CT scan of my brain, bloodwork, neuro test, etc and all came back normal which was really surprising since I felt horrible at the time.

Also had a period of 3-4 days where I got a sore on the inside of my cheek that really hurt and had some mild day/night sweats a few times and my eyes ached and burned and I constantly blinked them. No idea what was going on here but as soon as the sores began to heal, a few of the symptoms seemed to let up a little bit.

My history is Bipolar Disorder, GAD, Depression, OCD, Panic Disorder, GERD, Gastritis, Chronic Sinusitis, Allergic Rhinitis, Tourette's Syndrome, Cervical Arthritis, IBS and more. I take meds for all these things as you might expect with varying results.

Anyone else here have similar symptoms?. I wonder if it's the depression side of my Bipolar. I have manic phases too where I feel like I'm the king of the world, go on shopping sprees sometimes, stay really busy and feel absolutely terrific but lately it's not been like that at all and I've felt pretty miserable.

Thanks again for your input on this!.

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Yes, I can relate.  For me I have attributed them to the MI.  I've had the left-sided headaches, where my neuro said to lower caffeine, and also they are the beginning of a migraine in me; dizziness, which pdoc attributed to anxiety attacks.  Memory issues (short-term especially), mental clarity problems (although I have had those for a long time, even before the dx of MI).

 

Idk about the sore in your cheek and your symptoms lessening when it went away.  I've gotten sores in my mouth but haven't associated them with anything other than a sore in my mouth, and it eventually goes away.

 

I also have, similar to you, an anxiety disorder, GERD, gastritis, IBS, and allergic rhinitis, all of which I am on different meds for also.  I'm not sure if they affect the MI other than being really stressful to deal with, and in turn cause anxiety etc.

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I have similar symptoms which I just attribute to MI and being over medicated, honestly. At one point I was taking 22 pills a day. Other than my SZA I have allergic rhinitis, asthma, hemiplegic migraines, an anxiety disorder, PTSD, GERD, food allergies/sensitivites, arachnoid cysts, cyclical vomiting, kidney damage and chronic diarrhea, hypothyroidism, all which I take meds for. I see a bunch of doctors too, a gastro, neuro, endo, primary, pdoc, tdoc, OBGYN, and a pulmonologist. 

 

When I go to my primary though and something is bothering me and after we have done tests and what not, he usually says its anxiety. Anxiety anxiety anxiety. And honestly I think he's right. Its difficult dealing with so many different ailments, and that does affect your MI to some extent.

 

For your original question, yes I do feel that way, and I think thats a normal part of being bipolar. I think its important to monitor the duration of these feelings. I think its normal to lose interest in things or to get depressed for a while, but if its going on for a long time I think its something to look into, especially with a history of mental illness. 

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When I go to my primary though and something is bothering me and after we have done tests and what not, he usually says its anxiety.

 

 

I can relate to this, big time.  Fortunately my psychiatrist believes me enough to say it might be something else.  Pdoc is the one to order the EKG, etc.  One time, a former gdoc told my mother to call my psychiatrist because "it was all in my head," or something similar. 

 

My mother was so pissed because she knew something was wrong, so she called pdoc, and pdoc ordered a simple x-ray.  You know what was wrong?  My hip had broken and re-fused itself together in a way that my leg was about 2 inches shorter than the one that was ok.  I had to have emergency surgery, and 2 more surgeries to follow to get everything right (and the third surgery was a complete hip replacement).

 

So the anxiety shit the gdoc gives me I always take offense to, unless pdoc says he thinks it is also.  Ever since the former DR said it was anxiety and it was in fact a broken hip, I always have had a "thing" about the anxiety diagnosis (by someone other than pdoc). 

 

Plus, when he says it is anxiety I go and ask my pdoc about it because it is his area of medicine, so he always has the final say.

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I have a question...

 

Do you have severe joint pains? Migraines that make you feel like you are going crazy, or that you are about to have a seizure? And does all your symptoms feel like they get worse after you eat? Especially a big meal?

 

If so...

 

Gluten allergy. Get tested for Celiac Disease. I know it sounds fucking crazy, but trust me. Since I can remember I have had Bipolar, with GERD and IBS, mouth sores, SEVERE arthritis pain and INTESNE holyshit/wtf/whatiswrongwithme severe anxiety and depression. At one point in time I thought I was severely ill and was almost convinced I had some horrible and deathly disease. The thing is though, I have had countless blood workups/EEGs/EKGs/CATs/MRIs and every single time they came back normal. It wasnt until the beginning of this year that I/me/myself just happen to look up "food allergies" on google. Of course, peanuts and lactose popped up. However when I read about Gluten I was stunned. Granted, "gluten" is not really an allergy. Gluten is actually several ingrediants like Wheat, barley, malt, rye, some soy and some oats. Which is pretty much bumfuck everything.

 

I actually went to my PCM with this information, and asked to get tested for Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance) and even though he thought I was crazy, he did. And tada! 25 years of being physically and mentally put through hell (as well as poked and prodded with needles/suringes/drugs/spinal taps/and machines), I had a diagnosis.

 

The treatment for gluten intolerance/allergy/sensitivity though is an amazingly simple concept. Gluten Free diet. Seems simple enough, right? Yeah but it's fucking hard. HOWEVER, after 3 months of being completely gluten free, my IBS symptoms and mouth sours dissappeared. As well, to my amazement and utter shock, my arthritis and my anxiety went away. As well as my migraines and simple seizures.

 

For me, Celiac disease and gluten free has changed my life.

 

BUT NOTE:

Gluten free doesnt really take away the bipolar. But what it did do, was help my symptoms be more trackable. Because when I was having (mood episode) I wasnt experiencing the no motivation/severe anxiety/apathetic/generally down symptoms with it. I still am bipolar, but its just more...defined. As awkward as that sounds.

 

PS:

AS WELL, as others have said it could very well be the bajillion medications you are on.

 

PSS:

But I was on a bijillion meds too. And after being gluten free, my med list (everything from IBS/GERD/bloodpressure/sugar/headache meds/gas meds/antidepressants/benzos) was cut by 90%.

 

Just sayin.

 

Definitely do NOT drop any meds, or think you dont have X because of gluten. However, if it is possible see a doctore for correct diagnosis. If that isnt convienient, think about going gluten free. It wont really mess with your medications. It didnt for me, anyway. However, Celiac fucked up my system so bad I was SUPER tolerant for meds. And if youre like that youre on high dosages of medications. That might change, where your meds will seem more powerful. So if you can see a doctor before you do. But the thing is if you do not have Gluten issues it wont do jack shit, so it wont cause anything whatsoever.

 

Just...look into it. When I first saw a doctor when I was in middle school, and she started talking about "organics" and "yoga" i fucking ran for the hills. This isnt the same thing exactly, since gluten these days is proven to be a real problem for a lot of people as well as more research has gone into Celiac Disease.

 

It may not be the answer, but you have almost the exact symptoms as I did for most of my life. And since I found an answer for myself, I want to share my knowledge and expereinces.

 

Goodluck.
 

<3 Charlie

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