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transient revolutionary thought philosophers (?)


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apologies if the title offends ur sensibilities...also apologies for posting a topic pretty much the nextr day after joing the site...

 

 

(scene 2 (or) 3) - (acceptance & forgiveness)

 

i have found that in my youth i spent a major amount of time hiding from 'truth' or looking at it, or whatever (so hip, so cool) j/k*

 

i think the truth has the ability to be more freeing from chains and such then a comfortable lie, u see i have found that when enveloped in a webbing of never-ending lies and stuff, it has caused a darkness from my pupils that never seemed to be able to shrink to normal size...

 

it was so LSD bro, honestly after pretty much tripping over & into slight/sorta/possible/difference/'truth' or -n.e.w.- 'truth', the webbing all of a sudden became non-existent & i found a nice fresh of breath air, while feeling my own space coffin to be a little more restful with (currently) seeming endless fountain of being able to just talk massive amount of shit, & finally let the tip-toe go...

 

apologies again if none of this makes any sense, but im sure u have sensed urself a darkness that u didnt completely understand, well, my friend u are probably being lied to, hopefully its not by a massive* group of shifty individuals, and hopefully u will be able to get it all sorted and u can get back with or around folks who arent 'trendy' revolutionary transient thought philosophers with the intent to confuse distort and control ur sphere of reality...

 

unlike myself i would suggest a sorta 'mums the word' approach

 

but to get back on topic i suppose my queston to others who have schizophrenia (and anyone else) is,

 

Do you feel as if your self awareness and the way you percieve your reality to be something that goes through a constant cycle of change??

 

(thank u in advance for any replies!!)

 

 

 

 

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Do you have schizophrenia or are you trippin' on LSD or other hallucinogens?

 

ETA: I read your intro and see you have sz. Welcome. I thought you were some random high person who wanted to talk to crazy people.

 

I have bipolar, not sz. Yeah, my reality cycles even when I'm stable. That's the thing about reality. It is a matter of perception and perception is not always static even for the "non-crazies".

 

It might help if you explained again. Like Wooster said, it's not clear how what you wrote ties to your question.

Edited by AnneMarie
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sorry dudes (or) dude & dudette,

 

i guess with the rest of my post (-) / (minus) the actual question, was sorta a venting process, and since this forum seems to be pretty accepting of a more free form thought approach i didnt think it woudl be nessacary to limit myself with being entirely direct and or forth coming without the graffiti of my own personal individualism...

 

pretty much all i was saying on a more personal (vulnerable) -level- was, that since in my reality all i could see with my eyes was/were lies, was/were that the external 'webbing' had caused a need for a constant cycle of thought and current of wave change, and 'revolutionary' 'transent'-ness in order to clear away the 'darkness'...

 

i hope that is a little more clearer, sorry again for any misunderstandings...

 

i kinda just wanted to see if anyone else also had an endless cycle of 'thought revolution', the rest of the post was me just venting*...

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Ugh. I typed out a whole thing last night and then took my meds and wandered from computer. Poof. It's gone. Demons.

Anyway, so the short answer is yes, absolutely I am constantly in the process if incorporating new information and patterns and of course that changes who I am and I test all the time. Test against deceit not even by others so much as by myself, as you say... That comfortable falsehood.

I do see the universe as a dialectical process by which we both become aware and are made aware of our own being as both an infinite and finite tension of truth and fabrication, reality and whatever else. And I do think that strict promotion of consensus reality as ranking biggest or best, much less as prinordial which it is more coearly bot, is but the latest I instantiation of an oppression of self and suppression of the dialectical nature of the universe.

Anyway, hope that makes sense and best to you.

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 And I do think that strict promotion of consensus reality as ranking biggest or best, much less as prinordial which it is more coearly bot, is but the latest I instantiation of an oppression of self and suppression of the dialectical nature of the universe.

 

i am really interested in ur 'consensus reality' & 'oppression of self', which those two i am guilty of with a completeness that should fill me with fucking grief and a digging ove the greatest hole known to manunkindness...

 

i admit that i probably dont fully understand ur post, i have no idea,i ahvent slept in a while, & ive been up & wired zoned like ive been snorting cocaine for the last week without rest...

 

i look like it to no doubt...

 

but i always do (sorta)_

 

anywyas thanks for the reply and well wishes...same to u!!

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why haven't you slept in a week?

 

i just caught that part...bit slow on the uptake as not great with detail on skim.

 

you're not actually doing coke, yeah? 

 

i also just realized you said something about acid in your first post. 

 

i don't have an "anti drug message" for you, but i will offer this word of caution: if you are diagnosed with schizophrenia i'd advise against seeking out such mind altering substances and behaviors.

 

once you crack everything that's stress exacerbates that...it taunts it and psychosis does not take taunts lightly. even if it seems like it has some benefit...reducing voices or mitigating negative symptoms or making you just not give a fuck about how your life that seemed one way before you cracked looks alien and yet that's now your fucking life... it's like contributing to a critical mass type situation.  maybe more like you keep stepping closer and closer to an event horizon you don't see clearly demarcated or that seems so distant that you couldn't possibly reach it...

 

and then suddenly you've crossed that line and it's a steep sucking descent from which you never quite get back as far across that line as you were the prior to the last swooshing suck down into that singularity.

 

in short: sleep deprivation, stress (which is life so this one is a particularly thorny bitch), substance usage...you might not feel the negative consequences just yet but psychosis keeps a list of your indiscretions even if you don't and it'll all come back to haunt you. depending upon your flavour...perhaps quite literally.  

 

if you've not had a psychotic break-hospitalization-diagnosis...consider yourself fortunate and maybe don't seek it what you'll regret having found you.

 

take care,

x

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hello again,

 

no i am not currently on any types of drugs, i feel like it sometimes or did when i posted that last post...

 

(and apologies for a much shorter response)

 

but i have dealt with hospitilizations and all that, i dunno if thats what u r even talking about...

 

sorry im out of it, oh! the sleep thing, i sometimes get 'manic' and cant get myself to let the world go away, blargggh i hate sleeping sometimes (*) haha j/k thanks again for ur intrest in my safety.///

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  • 3 months later...

I'm glad you posted and reminded me this thread exists. I'm the process of trying to purge the inauthenticity from my life in an attempt to be free of that bad faith Sartre discussed. I can't believe I used to be a professor and yet I lived so long in that same bad faith. Travesty. But not entirely lost as I am potentially unvanquished and hope you find you look in the mirror and there is hope for same x

Edit. Lost not list. iPhone autocorrect is not my friend. But them this sort of a new phone and I kinda miss my old one. Shouldn't've mashed it. Anyway. Not lost

Edited by mellifluous
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