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It started again...

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Hi Guys,


All my life I have been having episodes of not being able to fall asleep. According to my mom it started when I was just a baby, never going to sleep like normal babies but staying up as long as I could. My mom told me she used to walk me in the buggy for hours until I fell asleep. Or drive around in the car until I was able to sleep. Obviously I don't remember this, my first memory of this only started at 18 years old. Before that I never really had any issues. I could call myself a “happy sleeper”

When I was 18 I had a surgery done to my lower jaw, they broke it and placed it a bit more forward, I had surgeries before so didn't think of it as a big deal. The recovery was awful. The first night I slept in the hospital I remember waking up every 2 hours. After that  I got to go home, which was far too early. That night I couldn't sleep due to the pain. The day after I went to the doctor because I was in so much pain and I haven’t slept for 2 days. He gave me temazepam. I took it, and I didn't fall asleep. I was in a strange twilight world instead. The next day I went back and I got Nitrazepam. It was the same story, I couldn't sleep again. I was slowly going mental, so in the middle of the night I went to the doctor on post, I begged him to give me the strongest he had. He gave me Rohypnol. I took it and still I didn't sleep. I don't know why, it was supposed to know me out…
I was in agony at that time, day 4 of not sleeping, it was more the panic taking over than anything else.. The next day  went back to my own doctor, he gave me Zolpidem ( Ambien) and this one finally worked. On night 5 I slept, I was overjoyed. But now what… I could only sleep with that pill. So what was wrong with me? Dokter started putting me on Paroxetine, he thought it would help for my general problem and partially for my Autism, which he thought played a part in my insomnia. After 6 months it was getting better. I had a very strict day night rhythm and I adhered to it to the letter. I was only taking paroxetine now.

After this strange time it took 6 years for my next one ( 6!)I was in Slovenia on a vacation and I started to have a haemorrhage bleed. I thought I was miscarrying or something, the amount of blood wasn't normal. It went through everything. So my friends there took me to the hospital. Which was old, cold and generally didn't look much up to date. I got scared when they examined me, they told me they saw some evidence of PCOS ( polycystic ovary syndrome) That didn't bother me much at the time. I got to lie in a bed, and that's where it started again. I couldn't sleep… That following morning when I got to go back to my friends place I tried to sleep some there, that didn't work either. Same for the next 3 nights. So now again I didn't sleep for 4 days. My friend took me back to the hospital where I asked for Zolpidem. I got it and I could sleep again. I got out of it after a few days. When I got home I went to the doctor again, he gave me melatonin ( Circadin) and Seroquel, as this was used in low dosages to aid sleeping… apparently.. It did work for me.

Ever since that time I get it a few times a year for a week or 2 and then it ends again…

And what I mean with It…:

I lie in bed, I made up a story as this is how I am used of falling sleep, at some point my mind takes over and I start to doze off, then I sleep… but instead of that… now I lie in bed, make up a story wait for my mind to take over, it does that for a split second, then I suddenly get this extremely warm sensation in my body, I sweat and my heart races, my mind is doing something that makes me be wide awake… This is the loop I am going in, time after time, all night long until I give up.
2 Nights  ago it happened again, I couldn't sleep, I dove off and BOOM awake again. I am so tires of it and I don't know where its coming from.
I still have a few Zolpidems left from last time, so last night I took one. I slept like a baby and I feel semi OK now.. I still take the paroxertine (20mg) the circadin (2 mg) and the Seroquel ( 25 mg)

Who else has it like this? Or am I just the only one completely crazy?

How long can I stay on Zolpidem without getting dependent?




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Don't be sad it's just a bit hard to follow :/. To answer your Qs: I can't relate completely to your story but I know how frustrating it is to not be able to get a good night's sleep. I would recommend Seroquel as it helps with anxiety and in non-addictive but ask your pdoc. I don't know how long it takes for you to become addicted to any drug - it varies from person to person. Sleeping pills are addictive by nature so it wouldn't take that long I should think. And no you're not completely crazy - just enough to make you interesting :-).

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It is truly awful to not be able to sleep but you're definitely not the only one.

I occasionally get prescribed zolpidem for insomnia. I get 5 x 10mg at a time and then after 5 nights I have sort of "reset" my sleep cycle and I'm fine again. I only do this a few times a year though, so I haven't become addicted or dependent. I don't take anything for sleep otherwise.


Obviously you'll have to talk to your doctor and this might not be something that would work for you but it suits me fine.

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