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What is wrong with my boyfriend?


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I am starting to get at my wits end with my boyfriend.  I need answers and I need help.  Sometimes he will just shut down and act like a complete zombie and it drives me crazy.  Here is some background:

 

We have been dating for 6 months.  Our relationship started out fast and we spend the night together everynight and have regular sex.  He told me he loved me about a month ago.  I was really insecure at the beginning of our relationship because we both had just gotten out of long term relationships and he was still talking to his ex.  But we talked through it and I learned to trust him and realized he is a good caring honest person.  He's a great guy all around.  He is consistent in that he texts me everyday and wants to see me EVERYDAY.  Sometimes I can't even believe he is my boyfriend because he's so good to me!  He treats me good. We never fight and are always nice to each other.  He acts like he loves me. 

 

...But then there comes a time, every month or so, where he just shuts down.  At first when it happened I thought he didn't like me anymore and was annoyed by me and I asked him about it and he said no, everything is fine and gave the excuse that he was just tired.  Which is understandable, but even when I am tired I still have common courtesy to treat people with respect.  Its like he completely ignores me and I'm not even there.  Its like a light switch goes off and he turns into a zombie!!!  It's seriously like he is NOT THEREIts like someone has taken out the man I know and replaced him with a clone.  I try to joke around and play with him to get him to snap out of it but he just sits there and gives me robotic responses.  Last night I was even shaking him and joking around but he didn't even laugh at all.  We usually cuddle every night.  Like we will go to sleep holding each other or at least have our arms around each other.  But when he is like this, he won't even touch me.  He will let me touch him but there is no reaction to my touch whatsoever.  Its like I'm not even there.  Its like he is pissed at something or has something on his mind but he won't tell me!  But if I ask him about it, he says its nothing!  And I can't for the life of me think of anything I've done to piss him off. 

 

Then a few days later he will be back to his old self and be super sweet and loving...and I just forget about it.  Then a month later it will happen again.  And it doesn't coincide with my period so I know its not me.  So I am starting to wonder if he has some kind of mood disorder.  He did have a horrible upbringing and so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not.  I won't go into the details, but he was practically an orphan.  Its either that or he just completely does a 180 and decides he's just not that into me or he's got someone on the side.  I don't see how that can be possible though since we spend so much time together and he always texts me all day...and he says he loves me. 

 

Sorry this is so long. I just figure I can get the best advice with all of the background info...  So do you think this is some kind of mental disorder or is he just moody or could it just be that he doesn't like me?  Or is this some kind of emotional abuse he is trying to inflict on me???  What do you think?  Thanks.

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i really don't know what could be going on with him.  if i were in that situation, i'd be honest about it.  let him know you've noticed that he sometimes has days where he seems to be unhappy (in GENERAL, not with you).  ask him what he would like from you on those days- does he need space?  verbal support?  physical closeness?

 

especially so soon into the relationship, i would avoid judging his mood, or attempting to interpret it.  if he's directing his bad moods at you in particular (being mean with his words), that's one thing.  if he's acting like he feels awful without acting *out*, it's okay to let him deal with that the way he's used to.  leave the worry for later, if you can.  he might not know what's bothering him.  he might not be as aware of it as you are.  he might just not want to deal with it.  i seriously doubt that it has anything to do with you.  he's coping in his usual way, and trying to pry into that might be cause for some tension.  enjoy your newfound relationship on his good days, and plan to maybe take some time for yourself on the not-so-good days.

 

again, i really don't know for sure, i'm just guessing and speculating on how i'd react.

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This is a first person site.  It's a site for people with mental illness to come and talk about their lives.  It is not a site for people to come in and bitch about the mentally ill people in their lives.

 

If you bf has problems, we'd be glad to talk to him.  We're not going to talk to you about him though.

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