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My basic question for those who don't want to read so much below LOL

 

Is my anger from my BP, or is it a character flaw?  Is there a medication that would help control my anger, or is it only helped with behavioral therapy?

 

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I have always had issues with anger.  For a long time it was towards myself.  Very rarely did I express my anger outwards towards other people.  It wasn't "acceptable" and I was always a pleaser.

 

As I get older (late 40s now) my anger is so much worse.  I feel like I have been ANGRY all my life.  That there is this undercurrent of anger that runs throughout me.  Make any sense?  It's just below the surface and doesn't take much to set it off.  I lash out mostly on dh.  Poor guy.  He never knows what he could say that would set me off.  Sometimes I have a good reason, other times it makes no sense.  Not that I should EVER talk/yell they way I do. 

 

I even get the same anger towards inanimate objects.  Frequent example: I have trouble typing on my phone.  It's become a problem since the last update.  It REALLY pisses me off when the letter that shows is not the letter I typed.  There are times when I have to give my phone to someone else, or put it carefully somewhere else so I don't throw it.

 

Throwing things - constant problem.  I have somewhat controlled this and don't throw things as often as I used to.  I used to do it all the time.  One time, years ago (like 16 or 17) I lost it for no real reason.  Can't remember what it was about, but I know it wasn't any big deal.  I had a glass dessert plate in my hand and threw it at the tv.   Unfortunately, my 18month old son at the time, was in his walker very close to where I threw the plate.  That was a wake up call for me.  Since then I don't throw things as often, but I still do.  I still have the strong thoughts to do so, but I can usually hold it back.

 

However, the verbal display of my anger is awful.  Living with this undercurrent of anger is most disturbing.  While I don't usually direct my anger at my children, I do lose it in front of them.  But not because of them.  Just now, my dd13 came from a neighbors and told me that D wants her dvds back that she let us borrow.  I lashed out in anger about it.  It struck a raw nerve.  My dd went in the other room as I have asked them to do.  My kids know about my anger and when I start to lose it they leave.  I always explain to them that it's not their fault.  If it "is their fault", I explain that even though they did "so and so" that I was wrong to talk to them in that manner.

 

I'm so tired of being angry.  I see the same anger in my son.  He also throws things.  He can really lose it over nothing at all.  We joke about him having his mother's temper, but it's really not funny.  I have talked to him about how he has to learn to control it now and not wait until he is older.  He is almost 19.  He's 6'1", 165lbs and very strong. 

 

Wow I can really write a lot.  I guess it's because I don't know how to be concise and express myself well so I have to use a lot of words :unsure:  :blink:

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i don't know of a specific medication to treat anger. I think it's mostly a behavioral thing and something to work on in therapy. Learning how to stay present in the moment helps, IMO. That is difficult to do but once you are able to master that it can be an invaluable tool.

 

I, too struggle with anger and how to properly channel it.

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For me, anger/rage is one of the first signs of being symptomatic. Anger usually starts even before I start having sleep problem. I usually have to resort to using an AAP to get things back under control.

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When I was first dx'd I was on seroquel. The highest was 600mg but the avg was 400 mg. But I was also on other meds for the first time. For a couple years I was awesome. It was great. No depression for once in my life. No anger. Until I started drinking a lot. I had thought I was cured but some time later I found out that it was s long stretch of mania. Savannah Sylvan and Ray of Sunshine for your input.

The pdoc has cut my wellbutrin from 300 mg to 150 mg. I will pay attention to see if that makes a difference.

Thanks

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I hate to admit, but I am embarrassed by my past rage/anger behavior. It was beyond irritability. Ugh. I was also pretty paranoid about other people which made things worse. I didn't treat people with the respect and kindness that they deserved. I am ashamed of that because I always believe in the spreading of love and kindness and respect. Not in spreading rage and hate and anger.

But that said, it is a symptom that can be managed with meds and therapy.

Those two things have helped me a lot with this. I am feeling more peaceful nowadays.

 

I would call your pdoc and tdoc about this issue. They can help you out.

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When I was first dx'd I was on seroquel. The highest was 600mg but the avg was 400 mg. But I was also on other meds for the first time. For a couple years I was awesome. It was great. No depression for once in my life. No anger. Until I started drinking a lot. I had thought I was cured but some time later I found out that it was s long stretch of mania. Savannah Sylvan and Ray of Sunshine for your input.

The pdoc has cut my wellbutrin from 300 mg to 150 mg. I will pay attention to see if that makes a difference.

Thanks

Ugh, drinking destabilizes me immensely, and I get hypomanic in the form of yelling at my kids. I personally HATED Wellbutrin and it would be so nice for you if that's "all" it was, and you could get rid of it, or add in more of a stabilizer. I really hate the "ups" that manifest as rage and irritability. It makes me feel guilty and really gets me into a shame spiral. I hope you figure it out. Is it worse with PMS too?
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For me as well, anger/rage/irritability is a sign of a hypomanic episode on it's way. This could easily be a symptom of bipolar for you. 

 

I personally have found Abilify (an AAP) to be a godsend for my irritability. A lot of my irritability stemmed from my Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which Abilify basically cured. I used to complain all the time, freak out over little things and get worked up and snap at people cause my GAD made me so high strung. On top of the GAD, irritability from a hypomanic episode would often become FULL ON RAGE at people/objects. But Abilify took care of it, it's amazing. 

 

So, I would recommend talking to your pdoc about maybe adding an AAP and see how that goes. AnneMarie is right, you are not on a very strong anti-manic drug, maybe an AAP would be just the thing. 

 

Literally, nothing bothers me anymore. I am so relaxed. It's truly incredible. 

Edited by Parapluie
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Thanks for all the replies :)  I did bring up the anger issue with the nurse and she said to make these current changes and we will talk again in three weeks.  I will bring it up again.  I didn't know that about Wellbutrin.  I've been on it for 6 years.  Could be why the anger/irritability is getting worse over the last several years.  Hmm...

 

It does get worse with PMS.  For a couple days I truly lose all control of myself.  I think my dh gets it now because he just keeps quiet when I go off like a keg of dynamite.  When I start coming down from the rage/anger, etc I apologize and ask if I was really out of control and he usually just smiles and says "you think?"

 

I wish I would have found this board years ago.  There's so much I didn't know.  I trusted my pdocs and tdocs as if they were somewhat like gods and knew all  LOL

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Thanks Dancingteapot. I kinda lean towards thinking its helped behaviorally but I was hoping a med could help. So much easier that way :-)

 

In just looking at your meds, you don't have a drug for managing mania, specifically. I'm not a doctor, but anger and acting on it is a big part of my hypomania. Lithium is what I take to keep the hypomania at bay, and it does a very good job for me. I take Lamictal for the depression side. BTW, Li and Lamictal are the only true mood stabilizers, they just work from either side of the spectrum. Everything else is AP, AD, etc. You might want to ask your pdoc about this -- it never hurts to go through the meds list.

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Everything you wrote, I could have written. I run at about an 8 or 9 on a scale of 1 to 10 of irritability. It doesn't take much to send me over the top. My husband takes the brunt of it as well. In my rational times (few and far between lately), we discuss this. He thinks it's because I wear a mask (more like full body armor) at work and around the kids best I can...but at some point it all has to come out. I feel safe being "real" with him so that's where I blow. He doesn't deserve it. He's an amazing man who has put up with far too much verbal abuse from me through the years.

 

I feel so much on the dvd thing. I was cooking supper last night, everything was fine, I went to hand my husband his plate of food and the fork fell on the floor. No big deal, right? Well, it took every thing I had not to throw that plate of food across the room. Totally ridiculous reaction but again when you are already at an 8 or 9, the littlest thing just does you in.

 

I hope you (and I) can find meds to help...but there is a possibility that you are going through hormonal changes too. I had a hysterectomy a couple years ago, my symptoms went from bad to worse after that. The doctors told me that I wouldn't have hormonal problems since I still had my ovaries. I don't buy it. I think it really has something to do with my getting worse and worse. Not much they can do about it. I've done all the natural hormonal "remedies", no change. Good luck. I really hope you find something that works for you. Living a life with constant anger is no way to live. trust me, I know.

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I have a temper. I get it from my dad. I have said and done things while angry I'm horribly embarrassed by and regret. I can usually snap out of it quickly. This is when I'm most impulsive and things are going downhill. Some medications help more than others with anger, for me. I can't take lithium or lamictal due to extreme reactions (kidney damage from lithium, called "diabetes insipidus" and the famous lamictal rash: steven-johnsons syndrome) so I take depakote. If I take a high dose of an AD (I take AD's for obsession and anxiety) I get angry as hell. I had to switch from Luvox to Cipralex.

 

Anger, to me, is the worst symptom because everything is horrible when you're angry. I can usually keep myself in check with PRN Xanax until I see my pdoc. At times I'm to take extra Seroquel or Zyprexa to get me through until I can see my pdoc. I've been told to go to anger management, but I honestly don't think its worth the money for me, because its episodic. I find having a one on one therapist helps the most, and a supportive pdoc. 

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