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I feel like I have reached the point with meds that my BP is a lot more under control than not on meds.  Now the question is, how good is good enough? 

I still have bouts of depression.  They usually only last a week or so and they are fairly mild, but they suck nonetheless.  There are days that I feel a little manic, mostly irratible and brain going too fast.  There are also the occasional days of feeling mixed.  But it is nowhere near as bad as unmedicated.

The main problem now is the anxiety.  I have tried CBT and it helped some, but from what my therapist said, my anxiety is probably severe enough that therapy alone can't control it.  I can't take ADs, both Prozac and Lexapro induced mania and pretty quickly.  I don't really want to take benzo's all the time just to be able to function.  Now that the BP has subsided, it also seems pretty clear that I have ADD.  Add in a little OCD and some borderline traits and I am one big walking acronym.

So, compared to unmedicated, these problems seem bearable.  Is that good enough?  Lamictal seems to be doing fairly well for the BP.  The headaches suck, but I can deal with that.  I am afraid if I try to switch to something else, I will find that nothing else works as well and I will wish I stayed on the Lamictal.  I can try adding something else to it, but I don't know what.  There are meds for ADD, but a lot of them seem to have trouble getting along with BP.  I could add a benzo or something else for the anxiety I guess.  So, is it worth messing with a relatively good thing to try to get a better thing?

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Synthetic, thank you for posting this.

I have been on meds a relatively short time but feel much the same, with many of the same questions.

The thing is, I have no idea what NTs feel like. I have nothing to compare to. I know that I feel better than I did before meds, but my mental and emotional state is far from perfect.

How much should I expect?

I don't have any answers for you, but a great amount of empathy.

InfoNut

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I'm not BP as far as I know, but my mother is and she can handle SSRIs just fine when she has a mood stabilizer.  Have you tried adding one in after being on a stabilizer, or have you just tried them without stabilizers? 

I'm in a similar position to you from the unipolar side of things.  I often wonder if I could do better by adding another medication.  I still have a lot of anhedonia, slip into depressed moods for a few days, and have really bad sexual problems.  At the same time Lexapro usually makes me feel calm and  rational and that is not something I want to mess with. 

I guess whether you want to risk destabilizing yourself would depend on what is going on in your life and whether it would mess up anything important if it happened.  That is what I always ask myself when I think about messing with the meds.  Some times are better to experiment than others.

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Synthetic, thank you for posting this.

I have been on meds a relatively short time but feel much the same, with many of the same questions.

The thing is, I have no idea what NTs feel like. I have nothing to compare to. I know that I feel better than I did before meds, but my mental and emotional state is far from perfect.

How much should I expect?

I don't have any answers for you, but a great amount of empathy.

InfoNut

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you.  I would bet that a lot of people can relate.

how good is good enough?  So, is it worth messing with a relatively good thing to try to get a better thing?

I guess I'm looking for that magical "near-hypomanic" without the falling into rage/depression etc. What's that called again? Oh yeah, happiness. I want my kids to not have to comment "hey, mom, you smiled!". OMG!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am not so much worried about being happy as being stable.  Hypomania for me is usually dysphoric anyway, so I don't really want to be anywhere near that.  The idea is that if I am stable, then I can work on being happy.

I'm not BP as far as I know, but my mother is and she can handle SSRIs just fine when she has a mood stabilizer.  Have you tried adding one in after being on a stabilizer, or have you just tried them without stabilizers? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tried Lexapro without MS in the middle of a BP rapid cycling episode, straight to mixed state within 48 hrs.  Tried Prozac while on Lamictal, took longer but I ended up with a several week long, dysphoric hypomania.  As soon as I taper off, mania gone.  So, SSRIs are out.

I guess whether you want to risk destabilizing yourself would depend on what is going on in your life and whether it would mess up anything important if it happened.  That is what I always ask myself when I think about messing with the meds.  Some times are better to experiment than others.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah, that's the question.  At the moment I am unemployed, insurance will be gone at the end of the year, I have no idea what I want to do with myself, and my savings will probably be gone before spring.  If I experiment and have to try a bunch of different meds, that will be much more expensive than just staying where I am.  So, yeah, I don't know.

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