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I know I'm pale...fuck you


Brokendishes
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This is the 3rd person this week who's said in some off-handed way "get some sun"....

Yes, I know I'm pale...I fucking get that! I'm White, people! Family right off the boat from Sweden, you know, land of snow and ice...We come with pale skin!! And my dad's family came from Ireland, so there's no way I'm going to have a natural skin tone beyond "chalk"...

 

I spent the entire 2000's up until like 2010 with a fucking tanning bed obsession...you know that tanorexia they keep talking about on the news?! I didn't call it that...even though I was tanning 20 minutes at a time everyday, 7 days a week, 365... And I was scheming different salons so I could do 20 in each one, so I'd hit 3 tanning joints a day for 20 minutes a piece...And mind you, my natural skin color is 'white'.... If I missed a day, one single day, I was utterly depressed and thought I was "pale"...Pale! I knew I had a problem so I stopped...I didn't want to, but luckily there were things going on in my life so I couldn't go everyday--and I had to suffer through the withdrawl and it sucked.

But I haven't gone in like 2 years now and I feel good I stopped.

Luckily I don't have any permanent damage. I've got a few sun spots scattered around, not many, but I can't help think how much worse it could have been if I hadn't stopped. I burned several times--once put me in the hospital needing IV's and overnight treatments. There's no way I'm going back to that again!!!

 

So I embraced the Korean girls idea of beauty--pale, porcelain skin. I use all kinds of Korean makeup and skincare--all of which has UV protection in it. I see Korean ladies walking outside my office and they're all using umbrellas on sunny days to protect them from the sun. I hear some of their mom's drive with goves on to protect their hands from sun while driving so their hands don't get darker.  I'm not *that* extreme, but I've learned to appreciate the beauty in naturally pale skin.

 

So why do I have these fucktards casually telling me that I should get some sun?! Oh I don't know, maybe because I don't want a fucking melanoma growing on my face!! Would you really find me as attractive if I had a giant hole in my face where they cut cancer out of me?!

 

During the summer I feel enormous pressure to 'look tan'...so I used to use self-tanners but gawd do they reek!!! I can't stand that smell! The worst part is when you put them on at night and have to sleep with them on...your bed stinks...bleah!! Who needs it....

 

Everytime someone makes a comment about my being so pale, I just wanna say something nasty like, Oh well I guess that's what happens when you have cancer... just to screw with them. It's not that their opinion matters really it's just the way they *imply* that I *need* a tan...like, nevermind that I was a fucking tan-whore getting a fix however I could(Ok that's kinda funny LOL)... I just don't want to risk going back to the way I was because I know I couldn't control it again.... would you tell a heroin addict that they looked better on horse? Geeze!

 

So I would like to just say in closing, thank you guys for listening....and to you tan golf man--Fuck you! LOL

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Nobody would say that to you in the Pacific Northwest.  We are all white and pale.  Normal here - if someone has a tan we ask if they have been in Hawaii or Palm Springs.

 

well not everyone is white, duh......

Edited by bpladybug
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I cannot believe people comment on your skin color like that.  How rude!  I've never understood or embraced the tan = beautiful standard.  Tons of young women I know spend hours laying out in the sun and spend money on spray tans, and I just don't get it.  I'm content to be the oddball who lathers herself in sunscreen and avoids sun damages as I age. 

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Pale and proud! Although I live in Ireland so no one would ever remark on it, as it is completely unremarkable. Not that fake tan isn't super popular (at least it doesn't do the same skin damage) but many of us accept that it's never going to look at all realistic and don't bother.

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Thanks so much for your nice comments guys :) I really have felt like I was the only one, and yesterday that really upset me what that guy did...But it's good to know I'm not the only pale person around here!

I was gonna try to self-tan again but they just stink so bad and are sooo much upkeep...I've got better things to do than hose myself down in orange stink water.

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OMG so true! Even if you're super careful and all-kinds of exfoliating, you always risk orange palms, weird patches and that 'fake' look. Bleah! Not attractive!

 

I use a BB cream on my arms and legs--just to even my skintone--it sure doesn't add color.lol But I feel like it makes my skin look 'finished' so I can go without pantyhose...Plus I think it makes my skin look luminous and fresh, instead of dry and patchy like self-tanners do.

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I've never been a big tanner, but have had three or four really bad sunburns in my life, and my dermatologist told me that even just that meant I had a lot of damage, especially as the first one happened when I was 5. I have a big sunspot that we think is the result of damage from that actual episode. It was large enough that that is why I went to see the dermatologist in the first place. I don't always remember to wear sunscreen every day, but I always wear it if I plan to do stuff outdoors. I wear a hat and sunglasses outside because of my migraines, anyway, though.

 

My husband gets alarmed at how fair I am, because I have really prominent veins, and there is some heritable illness where one has very fair, almost translucent skin, prominent veins, and excessive bruising, that is some kind of hemophilia. I do bruise like crazy, and I am pretty fair, but I don't think I have hemophilia.

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I am Danish and pale in very sunny South Africa. Also spent my teens lamenting my untannability (I always burned). I went to Israel for a year after school and was teased for being the palest - until a group of Pommies came along. Turns out it was a good thing to stay out of the sun.

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My friends poke fun at me for being "neon white", but it's more of a friendly teasing/endearing sort of thing. 
I'm already weird enough....not always appropriate to be pointing out that I look like caspar too.  They mean well, so I can't be mad at them.  It usually doesn't bother me. 

 

Technically though, I'm pink.  Very, very pink.  With a splash of white thrown in to make me resemble a natural shade of pale human, heh.

Thanks, Irish genes......

 

 

I think sometimes people will say stuff like that to you because saying "holy shit, you're pale!  Lemme look at you closer!" would be even ruder.  We humans like to look at things that are less common like super-pale or super-dark skin.  We are curious apes.

 

Think of yourself as interesting instead of weird.  Because a lot of people would love to have porcelain skin. 

 

Indoor cat wants out, outdoor cat wants in...........

Edited by Anodyne Oblivion
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A few opinions:

 

I work with young women multiple times a week and have to work very closely with their skin.  To a one, the tan-obsessed women look 5-10 years older than they actually are.  Their skin looks and feels like leather.  When I work with older women who tan a lot, it's a mess.  By the time they're in their 30s, their skin is so hard to work with that it's almost impossible to make them look healthy.  Tanning is the worst thing you can do for your skin, followed closely by smoking, doing drugs, drinking, and other such things to excess.  As a woman in my mid-30s with skin so fair that I have trouble finding foundation that's light enough, I am happy to slather on the sunscreen and stay pale.

 

As well, my father also had similarly pale skin.  He spent many years working outdoors and not using sunscreen.  Starting in his 40s and 50s, he had to get regular checks by a dermatologist and got skin cancer lesions removed from his body a couple times a year.  He never got melanoma, but every time he had some suspicious thing burned off, he got a scar, and I can't imagine it was comfortable.

 

People who comment on your skin tone are ignorant.  It's no better than looking at a black person and telling them they're so dark that they look like a field hand. 

 

Self-tanners are disgusting, in my opinion, and they turn people unnatural shades of orange.  They also wear off unevenly and can get streaky and gross. 
 

I wear sunscreen and embrace my fair skin.  I like it.  It's just another thing that makes me unique.  There are plenty of beautiful women who have fair skin.

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You guys are so awesome for your replies!! Thanks so much for the encouragement!! I've been debating starting the whole sunless tanning process again but your input has really helped! I don't live a livestyle where I *have* to be tan....I'm not on TV or in movies so who cares? Plus it's not like I'm always getting a vacation or something--all I do is work, so it really doesn't matter if I'm tan or not. I can't imagine spending hours prepping, tanning and maintaning a fake tan--all to sit at a desk in an office all day... What a huge, monumental waste of time.

 

Dianthus, that's exactly why I stopped going to the tanning bed...besides being literally addicted to it...I was afraid my skin would be like leather. I know several people my age or thereabouts who were more heavily into tanning--like throughout their whole lives--and their skin looks 30 years older than mine.(not to brag but it's true that people have mistaken them for being much older than me, when we're just a year apart!). That really just was sooo incredibly true about comparing what people say to me to saying something to a dark-complected African-American....It's like so wrong on so many levels for people to do that! But they would never say to someone, OMG you're so dark--I mean, how much more blatantly racist and horrid could that be? But people have no qualms about saying things to me about being pale.... Only Caucasians comment on my skin being so pale....African-American people have never said a word to me about it probably for that very same reason...spending a lifetime being 'judged' by skincolor.

 

Anodyne, I love what you said about people being 'curious apes'...funny and so true!! Totally saving that comment!!lol

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  • 3 years later...

I'm lily white and very pale. I rarely get comments about it, though. When I do, I just tell them that it's considered the highest standard of beauty in Japan and Korea. My family is also Swedish, so it's not like we're going to tan even if we try. I only ever burn.

And I'm sorry, but I don't find tans attractive. At all. It's unhealthy and will look terrible in your forties.

Edited by JerseyGirl134
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