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is this weird ? about scars


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i  am wondering if anyone else feels about their scars like i do.... I like my scars don't want to hide them. i want ppl to see them not quite sure why maybe i want them to know i hurt? that i have suffered because i always put on a stupid fake smile and say im ok when ppl ask when really i'm dieing inside....i just feel funny about almost wanting to show them off and be like see i'm not ok..i enjoy looking at them and anyway just wondering if it's just me....

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I hide all of my scars and try to keep people from seeing them, but I can see where you are coming from.  I think we all want our suffering to be validated in some way, and for some people, scars can feel like an outward expression of the internal pain that nobody sees.  I am sure you are not alone in feeling that way.

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I feel ridiculously exposed if people see mine. I've tried to go out with them showing and I was so stricken with anxiety so I had to go home. But your not alone I've heard the same sentiment before. Some people want their pain to be visible as a way for others to see the hurt. Do you think there's another way to express your pain to others? Do you have a therapist? They might have some ideas.

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I have definitely felt that way before. It's weird - I am ashamed of the scars on my legs and try to hide them, but I've always been comfortable with the scars on my wrist. I don't wave them in people's faces, but I don't cover them up and I am not embarrassed by them. I recognize that cutting is a terrible coping skill, but it also got me through a very rough time and my scars help me remember that. I feel that without them I and others would forget what I've been through and what I'm still going through. I don't know if that makes sense, but I feel you on this one.

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I think there are a lot of reasons why people self harm and a big one can be a communicative gesture - to let other people know how we are feeling inside.  So no, it's not all that strange.  I often feel that way about fresh injuries - mixed feelings, because I feel ashamed and embarrassed too - but there is a part of me that wants people to see and understand.

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My daughter has scars the entire length of both arms. She also has a condition that her body produces excess scar tissue and dark coloring. She is embarassed when people notice but she is somehow attached to them. She says she likes her scars. So, it seems to be a common thing with SI.

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I used to like my scars but I still don't like people to see them. It's only really an issue for the dozen or so on my forearm and when I notice them in public I get really really anxious. I've only  had one person bring them up to me before. 

 

Now I don't dislike them per se but I dread explaining them to someone. I was starting to feel better and thinking about how i would have to explain them to anyone who I got into an intimate relationship with... I dread that conversation... as much as I wish I didn't feel negatively about them in a way it helps. I figure that everyday I get further away from self harming is another day of healing I have to make the conversation easier. It's stopped me from cutting several times... as recently as yesterday.

 

My scars to me do kind of signify that I have managed to survive something I suppose and I am a bright and bubbly person so having a reminder that I didn't make it all up is sometimes good (I often convince myself I'm faking my MI). But to me it's a private, personal thing. I think it is up to each individual. 

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I think there are varying degrees of public vs private with scars.

 

As tryp said, for some people the intention is has an element of being desirous of communicating with others.

For others, it's very much a private, internal thing.

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I can definitely understand your point of view, since I feel something quite similar, because I am completely unable to say 'I am not fine', so people seeing the scars would be the only way to actually share something true. But... I've never shown the scars to anyone, because I also feel the shame of having them, and I actually don't want to have to explain, justify myself, and I always hide them, especially around people I know. 

When I am on vacation in places where I don't know anyone and know I won't get to know anyone, I don't mind that much, I still prefer to hide the scars, but if I have to wash something, I'll be more comfortable.

But I totally have one part of me which feels that the scars are a way to communicate that I hurt, even though I am faking cheerfullness when I'm around people. Seeing their reaction would also validate that my pain does not exist only in my mind. But still, I never show them, even to my tdoc.

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I understand where you are coming from... i used to want to show them off but I've sort of switched. I like my scars but I am sometimes torn inside as whether or not I want people to see them and ask. I want someone to care but I'm so comfortable with lying to everyone that it's feels safer to me to keep them personal to protect myself from believing people could actually care about me.

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I don't necessarily want to "show off" my scars, but I don't hide them either. My scars are on my lower leg, so when I wear tights or capris they are pretty noticeable. 

 

I decided that I didn't want to succumb to all my secrecy and shame behaviors. I'm not proud of my scars, but I'm not ashamed of them either. 

 

I always thought it was strange that I could show off my "cool" appendectomy scar, but my self-injury scars are taboo and secret. That doesn't make sense to me. 

 

Also, I let my scars be visible for purely fashion-related reasons too. I wanna wear cute outfits in the summer! :P If someone notices my scars, I'm honest about where they came from. Again, not proud, but not ashamed either. I guess you could say I just stopped caring what other people think. 

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thank you for your replies i also dont purposely show off my scars but some are very large from when i tried to do more than si like wrist to elbow some people assume surgery till they see the smaller scars very rarely do i get asked about them but i think your right i want my feelings validated and people to know this girl is hurting and sometimes i need help.... 

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