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hi i just left a 5 yr relationship with a sociopath.


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Hi.

My name is donna,

a few months ago I finally had the courage to leave a man that tormented me daily. He had complete control over me and I didbt even know it. I'm trying to find me again. Its so hard. This man had every aspect of me. Jus little things are huge to me. Eating breakfast. Oatmeal toast every morning. I DONT LIKE OATMEAL THAT MUCH. id rather hv just toast and coffee. So I do. Then guilt and shame sets in. I've not seen him in almost a month. This oatmeal ordeal was this morning. With tbis ever stop???

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Donna! :D You made it here! Well done and welcome to Crazyboards. :) I was just thinking of you this morning. 

 

(I know donna from another forum, where she first came when leaving him.)

 

I really hope you will find friends here.

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Welcome to our happy home, confusedaily.  I always ask new members to read the rules so there is no confusion about how we do things.

 

It sounds like you have been through a real ordeal, and your ex has really done a number on your head.  Are you seeing a therapist?  If you aren't, you need to find one and get some counseling.  If you don't have any money, check with your local Dept. of Social Services and see if there is a clinic with a sliding scale of fees.

 

Life can be good, and you can have fun, make friends and eat toast every morning.  You just need to get back up on your feet and it will take a little time.  I hope you stick around and meet some of our members.

 

olga

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Hi Donna ~  Welcome :)  My marital counselor diagnosed my former spouse as a sociopath and I had to go through a DV women's shelter for protection.  I ran and hid for 3 years.  I do understand about how sociopaths work.  My mother also had sociopathic traits as well.  I am hoping you got away and are safe and can start to rebuild your life.  Keep in touch, as I do understand what it is like to live with one of those.  You are always welcome to pm me.

 

De

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My dr.wants me in hosp. Oh I didn't mention I'm bipolar. Yeah like my head isn't. Screwed up enough. Throw severe trauma I'm and boom here I am. Or was. Well u know. Seems my depicote isn't working. He wants try new meds.and deprograming. Meds ok maybe. What the hell us deprograming????

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My dr.wants me in hosp. Oh I didn't mention I'm bipolar. Yeah like my head isn't. Screwed up enough. Throw severe trauma I'm and boom here I am. Or was. Well u know. Seems my depicote isn't working. He wants try new meds.and deprograming. Meds ok maybe. What the hell us deprograming????

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If it is possible for you to go inpatient, that could be a really good thing.  I imagine he wants you to try some different meds under supervision, and maybe some group therapy or other types of therapy.  You really should do it if he feels it would help you.

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

olga

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Donna, you know I don't think it's such a bad idea either. I think that deprogramming just sounds like a form of therapy. Let them take care of you for a bit, to get back on your feet, with help.

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My dr made time for me today. So we talked abt the hosp. I agreed to go. There a program an out paitent. Daytreatment. Its like school but at a hosp. Its 10 am to 3 pm. U go to groups and everything. Ur in hosp but u go home at night. So I'm going to do this. Ill let you know how it is.

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Welcome to our little place on the Internet. 

 

I did a PHP a few years ago. If you find a good one, it can be a great experience. The one I went to was TERRIBLE. I hope you get a good one. If you don't, don't be afraid to speak up and try something that might work better for you.

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Thank u all for ur wrlcomes. I got home a few hours ago from the hosp. Spent 4 days. I kinda lost it. Was having flash backes. I was feeling him touch me. Hear his voice. It was crazy. This man got into my head pitched a tent and stayed. I'm trying now to still evict him. I will I kmoe that. But whst I go thru. All this ugly gsrbage he left me. And my DUMB ASS MISSES HIM AND STILL LOVES HIM. SICK SICK SHIT

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You did the right thing! Trust me, I was in the same position you are in years ago. And I got out alive, with a even more secure and confident "me". I sent you a PM, and I hope it gives you some hope.

 

Stay strong.

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confused, it's very common that women who leave their abusers still feel that they love him.  Keep working with your doctor, and find out if there is a support group for women in your situation.  It may help you to talk about this with women who have gone through similar situations.

 

olga

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I'm home. I hated being in hosp. It helped yes but unfortunetly m so guarded now that hypnotheripy didn't even work. All I keep hearing is I need to open up. Let them in so I can get the help. My dumb ass kept replying. Nope not on ur life. Being open got me here. Cabt u read. CLOSED FOR LIFE. so my theripest actually threw his hands in air and said I give up. He walked out. He came back of course. Thank god. It showed me by closing up like that is a form of giving up. Nothing strong abt that. So I started talking. Lets say this man isn't human. My abuser. And its gunna taje alot help til I'm right again. IM WORTH IT. SO IM GUNNA FIX ME. WATCH!!

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