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Are your episodes normally all positive symptoms, or a mix of positive and negative

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I don't know if that is normal, but it's very similar to what I experience. 


Usually, my episodes start gradually, with some mild positive symptoms. Within a couple days however, the positive symptoms become strong and overwhelming. Then, I am usually actively psychotic for a couple of weeks, while the positive symptoms slowly wind down. While the positive symptoms are going away, I find I am left with negative symptoms. It's as if the positive symptoms are a bomb going off and the negative symptoms are the fallout. For the next few months after a psychotic episode I have strong negative symptoms. After a few months, the negative symptoms mostly go away. 


So, basically for me it goes: mild positive symptoms --> strong positive symptoms --> strong negative symptoms without positive symptoms. 


I say "usually" my psychotic episodes go this way because my first psychotic episode was completely different. I just woke up one day with strong, unrelenting positive symptoms and it ended about a week later. But I don't know if there were negative symptoms afterward because I was already so depressed. 


I think everyone has their own unique progression of illness and psychosis symptoms. 


Edited to add: I just thought of something. Perhaps my first psychotic episode was different because I was not on anti-psychotics. Every episode I've had since has been while I'm on anti-psychotics, and there is intervention within a few days to a week. 

Edited by Parapluie
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I honestly don't notice a pattern but it's a mixture. Sometimes I will sort of lose contact with the day, time, what I am supposed to be doing. Speech and coordination are off, very little emotion. The hallucinations are fleeting but the paranoia goes in and out.

Edited by wj74
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I get a mix that I cannot find a pattern to as well. Everything seems all jumbled up. Nothing makes any sense to me. I am told I have more flat affect and I was told I pause a lot or stop in the middle of a sentence while speaking. My mind just has all thoughts lost and/or I'm hearing something that isn't really there. I'm the worst person to tell a story because I stop all the time in mid-sentence. I just lose my thoughts, all of them! This never used to happen to me. I used to be better at talking for any period of time. Even longer periods.


I'm not exactly sure why this happens but I have my theories. Maybe my brain is rotting/has rotted? Sometimes I think it's the meds bringing me down. Like I used to be intelligent and now I sound so stupid and I am stupid. But since I've been psychotic and since starting meds I have become stupid. I can't concentrate enough to read, otherwise I would and I may not be as stupid, you know? Anyways, I sometimes think that big wigs are trying to control me and my VOICE. Like I could be some great political activist and fix things in the world but I can't because I'm stupid and dragged down by meds. But if I go off meds (which I wont, don't worry) I end up hospitalized. That fact scares me enough into taking my meds 99% of the time. I freaking hate hospitals. I get so homesick my heart just aches and I sob uncontrollably.


I'm sorry if I got off topic. I hope I didn't too bad.

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