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Hi! I'm new with question about psychosis


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I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 almost 3 years ago this summer when I was 21 about 4 months after giving birth to my 2nd daughter. Before that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was about 15 after my brother was killed in a car accident which looking back on I was probably having manic episodes already. I also have ADHD. I recently just gotten out of the hospital for a manic episode triggered by family drama in the middle of a medication change which was obviously not a good combo. I thought one of my husband's ex-clients was trying to kill him so I decided to try to off her first. Nothing actually happened. My very vigilant husband was able to get me help before I was able to do anything. I'm really glad to have found this board. I don't know anyone with any form of bipolar and while my family is incredibly supportive they don't really understand at all. I feel like I scare them when I talk about it sometimes.

 

I'm still trying to get on the right meds combo again. I was taken off of Lithium because of my serum levels. I was doing fine without it for a while until all the family stuff started happening. I was just released yesterday after a 6 day stay. I don't feel like I was ready to be released. This is my first episode that my daughters will be old enough to remember and I don't want them to remember. We have them staying with their grandparents. I don't feel manic anymore but I'm still having hallucinations and delusions. I keep having panic attacks. Can you be psychotic without being manic? I don't remember having psychotic features with my previous manic episodes and I'm really scared right now :( Could I really be schizophrenic? 

 

 

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First of all, welcome to CB! :) I'm so sorry you had a particularly horrible manic episode. It sounds like it was really rough. I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better. I hope you stick around. 

 

Yes, it is possible to have delusions and hallucinations outside of a manic episode. That's actually sometimes a separate disorder, called schizoaffective disorder. This does not mean you have schizophrenia. Many people have hallucinations and delusions during manic episodes. Bipolar is thought to be a kindling disease, that tends to get worse with every episode. It's possible that your episodes have progressed from manic without psychotic features, to manic with psychotic features. Panic attacks can definitely happen during an episode, they happen to me when I am hypomanic and when I had a mixed episode. I'm sorry you're suffering from them right now. 

 

It will take a while for your brain to recover from being manic, which might be why you're still having hallucinations and delusions. It could also be possible that you are still a little bit manic. 

 

Are you in touch with your pdoc (psychiatrist)? I guess you must be if you are still trying different med combos. Make sure to tell your pdoc if you think your meds aren't working. It's also very important that they know about your hallucinations and delusions you're still having. Maybe they can prescribe you an anti-psychotic medication, if you aren't on one already. 

 

How old are you daughters? Is it possible to sit down with them and your husband and explain that mom has a brain illness that causes her to think and act differently sometimes? And that mom takes medicine to help her feel better? I have little experience with talking to very young children, so I'm sorry I don't have much advice. But, I am a big proponent of being honest with children. My mother had depression the whole time I was growing up, and I remember being very confused and scared about it. If she had taken the time to explain to me what the problem was, I probably would have felt better, rather than constantly being worried about my mom. 

 

Like I said, I hope you stick around. I am so sorry that you're having a rough go right now. I hope you feel better soon, and that your family issues get sorted out with as little drama as possible. Be well. 

Edited by Parapluie
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Thank you so much! That definitely makes sense. I'm seeing my pdoc tomorrow so hopefully she'll be able to fix me. 

 

I'm only on Seroquel and Klonopin right now. I was on Seroquel, Depakote, Klonopin and Lithium. I've been on Abilify too but I did better on lithium than without it and my doc said abilify doesn't react well with lithium or something? I don't remember now. It was a little while ago. 

 

My girls are just turned 3 and turning 4 at the end of July. I do want to talk to them about it because I know they're scared. It's never really been an issue until now because I was doing really really well for a while which is another reason I'm so frustrated. I don't know how much they'll understand yet or how to even approach it. We also have a 19 month old son. My 4 year old has allergies and asthma. My 3 year old and 19 month old both have cystic fibrosis. My 19 month old also has some other issues we're working on figuring out so we're not without stress in our lives besides everything else that's happening. My kids are doing really well right now. It's me that's losing my marbles. 

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Yes, how much lithium were you on? Could you try a lower dosage? It may be that you only need a small amount to get to a therapeutic blood level. I take 600mg, and a lot of people on CBs *start* at 900mg. I just really like lithium, I guess, I would want to explore that issue a little more.

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My girls are just turned 3 and turning 4 at the end of July. I do want to talk to them about it because I know they're scared. It's never really been an issue until now because I was doing really really well for a while which is another reason I'm so frustrated. I don't know how much they'll understand yet or how to even approach it. We also have a 19 month old son. My 4 year old has allergies and asthma. My 3 year old and 19 month old both have cystic fibrosis. My 19 month old also has some other issues we're working on figuring out so we're not without stress in our lives besides everything else that's happening. My kids are doing really well right now. It's me that's losing my marbles. 

 

I don't mean to derail the thread. But, I just want to say that I send your family my best wishes. It must be really hard having children who are ill, and having family stress doesn't help. You sound like, up until this recent manic episode, you are doing very well with the hand you were dealt. 

 

Also, what dose of Seroquel are you on? Lots of people take Seroquel for bipolar, usually with another mood stabilizer though. Definitely update us after you speak with your pdoc! :)

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It's probably a miracle I've done as well as I have. I'm on 400mg of Seroquel. At this point I wouldn't be too upset if she wants me to go back to the hospital. I just want this to get figured out. I have a new found respect for psychosis. I get it now. It can go away! 

 

Also, Parapluie, I noticed you've been diagnosed with mathematics disorder. I'm in the process of being tested for dyscalculia soon. It's nice to find someone else with that as well!

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Also, Parapluie, I noticed you've been diagnosed with mathematics disorder. I'm in the process of being tested for dyscalculia soon. It's nice to find someone else with that as well!

 

Good luck with your testing! :) It's always nice to find someone else with mathematics disorder, makes ya feel less alone. It can be a very isolating experience. Again, good luck!

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I'm back from my pdoc. She thinks my ADHD medication could be prolonging my symptoms so she took me off of it. She kept me on the 400mg of Seroquel for now, increased my Klonopin and added Lamictal and Risperdal. I've never been on Lamictal or Risperdal so I'm kind of nervous. She doesn't think I need to be readmitted. Hopefully I start feeling better soon now. 

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I'm back from my pdoc. She thinks my ADHD medication could be prolonging my symptoms so she took me off of it. She kept me on the 400mg of Seroquel for now, increased my Klonopin and added Lamictal and Risperdal. I've never been on Lamictal or Risperdal so I'm kind of nervous. She doesn't think I need to be readmitted. Hopefully I start feeling better soon now. 

 

Good luck with the Lamictal and Risperdal! I take Lamictal (currently titrating up) and it's treating me well so far. I'm glad you don't need to be readmitted, that must mean she thinks you're getting better! 

 

Thanks for the update! :)

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There is a ton of info on Lamictal in the Meds forum, a lot of people on the boards are taking it.  You might want to take a look, because you may have a lot of side effects *at first.* They almost always go away after a couple of months. But there is one side effect, that is *very* rare, that you do need to keep an eye out for. We tend to call it "The Rash," I think it is Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (sorry I am being VERY lazy). You *can* get other *harmless* rashes from Lamictal (or any AC), and that is much more likely.

 

But I really love Lamictal, and so does my husband, who takes it for epilepsy. We both get patchy rashes on our limbs, they are very small, and obviously not a threat.

 

I took Risperdal twice, both times when I was manic. Both times I was thrilled the first month, my head was so quiet. The second month, I was meh: it was still working, but it was also kind of giving me side-effects, which is weird for me (to start side effects so late). The third month, the side effects were really not worth the benefits. So I would say I really like it to tamp down mania, but not as a permanent med.

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I'm back from my pdoc. She thinks my ADHD medication could be prolonging my symptoms so she took me off of it. She kept me on the 400mg of Seroquel for now, increased my Klonopin and added Lamictal and Risperdal. I've never been on Lamictal or Risperdal so I'm kind of nervous. She doesn't think I need to be readmitted. Hopefully I start feeling better soon now. 

 

Good luck with the Lamictal and Risperdal! I take Lamictal (currently titrating up) and it's treating me well so far. I'm glad you don't need to be readmitted, that must mean she thinks you're getting better! 

 

Thanks for the update! :)

 

 

I do feel better. I just want my hallucinations to go away. They scare the crap out of me and I hate feeling constantly panicked. Hopefully the meds work fast! 

 

 

 

There is a ton of info on Lamictal in the Meds forum, a lot of people on the boards are taking it.  You might want to take a look, because you may have a lot of side effects *at first.* They almost always go away after a couple of months. But there is one side effect, that is *very* rare, that you do need to keep an eye out for. We tend to call it "The Rash," I think it is Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (sorry I am being VERY lazy). You *can* get other *harmless* rashes from Lamictal (or any AC), and that is much more likely.

 

But I really love Lamictal, and so does my husband, who takes it for epilepsy. We both get patchy rashes on our limbs, they are very small, and obviously not a threat.

 

I took Risperdal twice, both times when I was manic. Both times I was thrilled the first month, my head was so quiet. The second month, I was meh: it was still working, but it was also kind of giving me side-effects, which is weird for me (to start side effects so late). The third month, the side effects were really not worth the benefits. So I would say I really like it to tamp down mania, but not as a permanent med.

 

Thanks! I'll go take a look!

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