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I don't really know where to post this. At this point I'm confused about everything.

I just want it to stop. I don't know how much more I can deal with. I can't stop crying or hurting. I can't stop the constant thoughts in my head. All I wanna do is sleep. But then nothing gets done. So I get even more upset.

What am I suppose to do? Will this vicious cycle every come to n end? I just got back on meds n I see my pdoc again on Monday. But what can I do to make this stop?

I'm being a horrible mom n that's just making it worse. I'm so frustrated n angry with myself. I just want it to stop!

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I'm glad you're getting back on meds and seeing your pdoc on Monday.  That will help, but, depending on the med, it may take a bit for it to kick in.

 

Is there something you can do to distract yourself?  Whether it be physical activity, watching tv or participating in a hobby--anything to get your mind in a different place.

 

Do you have a tdoc?  They can teach you some coping skills to help you get through this.  My "go to" coping skills are deep breathing, passive muscle relaxation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcjTF5BxKdo) and reminding myself that my thoughts cannot hurt me.

 

You will make it through, you're taking the right steps.

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About the mom thing. Keep them clothed, fed, and safe. All the other stuff is extra at this point. All you have to do is to get them one day older. There is plenty of time for the extra stuff when you're feeling better. 

 

Depending on how old your kids are, I used to sometimes declare that I needed a timeout. My kids were familiar with having a timeout so that you can think about your behavior and come out when you've got a new attitude. It worked for us. Maybe it'll work for you too. If your kids are too young to leave unsupervised maybe you can take a timeout in the same room--go sit in the timeout chair and tell them not to interact with you until the timer goes off. 

 

Your worst critic at this point in time is probably yourself. Cut yourself some slack until the meds have a chance to work. I hope you're feeling better soon.

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Many, if not most, folks need assistance when bootin' the monkey off their back. Obviously, your boyfriend is a hindrance rather than a help. You need to notify your Pdoc that you are coming of illicit drugs and ask for help...whether that be hospitalization, rehab, or rehab at home. YOU do not need to go through withdrawal by yourself. PLEASE get help.

 

My apologies for posting in the bipolar topic, yet again, without having the diagnosis.

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I'm under the impression that you can post in any forum you like. Maybe with an exception here and there, but I don't think so. Mods, if I am incorrect about any part of this, please let me know.

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I think offering support is great but sometimes, I find that it's best that I keep my trap shut when I'm thinking about saying something about which I know nothing. Like, you won't find me saying much in the BPD forum. There, I'm more likely to make things worse by saying something. I don't think it's against any rules to post in most any forum. Sometimes, it isn't helpful and might actually make things worse. We trust that members will use their best judgement when it comes to when and where to post.

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I am diagnosed bipolar 2 mixed type but I also have a substance abuse problem. I don't know what part of the symptoms I'm going through are from being bipolar or being a drug addict.

It seems I was going through the same stuff when I was high n sober.

I can't tell my pdoc Cuz he will refuse to see me n I can't afford a different pdoc the clinic made me sign a form when I first started going there because I've been battling on n off with addiction for almost 5 yrs.

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