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why is it that therapists who can pick up on non-verbal cues are far and few? a lot of therapists seem to place so much importance on words and word choice (especially cognitive therapists).

sometimes though someone like me will  speak hastily and incoherently in hopes of being understood (or at least getting the gist of what is said) and thus not wasting time. however, this leaves open the possibility of falsely assumed understanding on the part of the therapist, which in turn can complicate my perception of what the therapist's intentions are or generally what's going on in a session.

the other option is choosing each word ever so carefully such that getting out a simple idea becomes a painstaking (and painful, for the therapist) task... however, in this process i tend to revise what i say while certain ideas have already been "established", while at the same time ideas are coming out so slowly that i imagine it's difficult to remain patient enough to track everything that's being said. again, confusion and misunderstanding is inevitable.

i understand i can't expect a therapist to read my mind, (not that i'd want that anyway..), but is it too much to ask for a therapist who can get the gist of what i'm saying without me having to be precise about every word? after all, therapists say that most communication is non-verbal anyway.

Perhaps i put too much pressure on myself to cover all the bases of what i wish to discuss. Or perhaps my thoughts are so disorganized that i need a therapist who has extensive experience with non-verbal aspects of therapy

I could write out something prior to a session, that could solve some problems, but only to a point. sometimes i can't think of anything to say prior to a session (besides now) and fleshing out what i've written down presents another problem. this is also a quality of life issue more than anything.

At this moment i can't think of anything more personally empowering than the ability to communicate freely and clearly.

Edited by NullChamber
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During my BSW training we spent two weeks so 6 hours talking about non-verbal comunication and what it might mean(in my practice class) and in my youth and children class we talked about it throughout the semester. But this was in 2010 so more wisdom maybe or professors who found it important and valubale in practice.


My curent tdoc is good at this and notices many of my non-verbal comunication. But he has yet to coment on my fidgiting with the pillows on his couch every session(maybe its not that important ;)) But other theripists in the past have not been good at this. I saw one whos chair was to tall and my feet dangled and made me focous on that but I had to tell her I needed a foot rest.

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it's good that you have a therapist who picks up on your non-verbals, i'm just not sure what i'm supposed to look for to find someone like that. i had in the past only one therapist who was particularly adept at it. and when i had moments of being unable to speak or completely incapacitated by my feelings he would encourage me to communicate non-verbally. most therapists from my experience don't know how to effectively handle moments like that. i think he had experience with clients with intellectual disabilities so maybe that would be a starting place as far as search terms and what to look for.

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