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Hello,

 

What do you do when you get a command to hurt yourself from your voices? I feel like if I don't do it something bad will happen when I have a voice telling me what to do. It tells me to do things from small rituals like turning the tap off and on a certain number of times to telling me I need to die / kill myself for reasons I'd rather not mention here. Yesterday I self injured for the first time in a long time because I felt like I had to, if I didn't something bad would happen. That's why I have to do everything this voice says.

 

Please offer any advice you can... I am on meds but it only makes the voices stay away half the time.

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The voices for me focused on other people rather than myself, so they focused on hurting other people through things like punching, kicking, throwing things, etc.

I had ignored them for such a long time by the time I got on meds that I knew there was no downside to ignoring them - Only the downside of following them (being charged for assaulting people, etc). When they first manifested I did give in initially, but due to the massive response I got when I did follow them I soon resisted and ignored them.

 

Over time while they didn't grow more powerful (they held no power over me) however they got louder and multiplied. While initially there was only a handful, towards the end there was so many I could no longer hear myself at times. This wouldn't have been a huge problem if they stuck to just giving suggestions of hurting other people, but they branched out into distracting me. For example if I tried to do maths they screamed numbers at me so I couldn't remember any numbers in my head. This was duplicated in different forms for everything I did. They were not always present, Some days there was nothing at all - However there was no prediction of how a day would unfold.

 

Some medications worked better than others for me, Antidepressants did absolutely nothing(even in very high doses) while some antipsychotics helped (Saphris, Seroquel, Geodon) and others made it worse (Abilify).

 

To sum it up, For me there was no bad thing that happened when I ignored them, they just got more persistent. Part of this may have been due to being untreated for a longer period of time, I really wish I had seeked out treatment when I was much younger.

Which brings me to my advice, which is get it treated as best you can sooner rather than later, The longer you leave it the worse it seems to get. Early intervention seems to change the course somewhat.

Maybe a new medication would help? I really can't say, but some didn't work all that well for me.

Edited by Not me
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The voices multiplied for me as well. Now I can't tell which are benevolent and which are malevolent. It is probably a good idea to not listen to the voices, or at least not follow their commands. One that seems okay and/or convincing might turn out to cause harm. This is somewhat ironic, considering that I have carried out the commands of what appeared to be moderate or benevolent voices, with surprising - yet perhaps delusional - results. It isn't that they are disturbing anymore, it is just very irritating to be so distracted, like Not Me wrote. The voices that say 'kill yourself' and some other random phrases seem illogical. So I suppose you could try to weigh the pros and cons (that exist) in light of what promotes the most stability. Listening to somewhat loud music can also drown out the voices, or make them worse, depending on the person.

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Hiya Konata Darlin :)

 

I know I am only new here, but me too struggle with voices and self harm.

I also get the same sort of commands that you do, you know, you must turn the light off and on for a certain number of even times.

I find myself challenging it everyday.

Voices are real to you, but there is a way that can make you believe they are not real. Just imagine you are in another place. Relax your mind. Try taking a bath with a nice cup of cocoa, or go do something you enjoy, maybe a bike ride.

Play some load music. Whatever you do, do not let the voices take over your thoughts. Its like a radio, if you don't like a song, switch it off, same with voices - if you don't like it - switch it off. They are not in control - do not fight them. Love them.  Voices focus on fear, so the less fear you show, the less the voices will get. I hope you feel better soon :)

xx

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

this is complicated for me and i should say i don't self injure in my way of thinking, but i do follow orders that could easily maybe are even kinda designed to according to consensus reality have lethal consequences.  i don't know what to say though because the same one who gives the most compelling ones is the same who battles the far worse to experience delusions and accompanying hallucinations (that are mainly related to my thoughts and who/what i believe and perceive is stealing them/jumbling them, contaminating things, implanting things, etc). 

 

i'm pretty sure the general current practice is to encourage you to NOT follow orders and certainly not to solicit them.  but i am not always consistent at all with that one so I'm posting really just to say that i can appreciate finding it complicated and also following the commands.

 

best to you. x

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I worry about voices multiplying...so far there is no commands with mine (mind you, the one that really stands out is new within the past couple months, maybe a little less, but the constant chatter in my head is not) but I wonder if it builds up to that if it's not well-controlled over time. My friend told me to challenge my voice(s) but I realize that is not always the best idea for everyone.

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i do tell the ones offering commentary to shut it (which is an awkward thing to do in public, by the way and i recommend avoiding then) but not always...sometimes i just try to tune them out.  but they don't tell me to do things, more ask questions/make statements. 

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